Apparently, Seth Green thinks being seen at the Rite-Aid Pharmacy, is a bad thing.
You’d think that if celebrities didn’t have a problem being seen at Starbucks and The Coffee Bean and Ralph’s Supermarket and Hugo’s restaurant and the Arclight Cinemas and The Soup Plantation and my favorite French restaurant and the dog park and the patio furniture store and 24 Hour Fitness, that being seen at my favorite local drug store wouldn’t be a problem either.
Well, for Seth Green…apparently it is.
Known best for his role as Dr. Evil’s son, Scott, in Austin Powers — Seth Green has been around for a long long time in this grind they call “the acting thang.” You may even remember one of his first roles as the younger nerdy brother of Patrick Dempsey in the classic 80’s movie Can’t Buy Me Love. And you may or may not remember the sequence in that movie where he walks up to the female love interest of the movie (in a mall, at a make-up counter) and informs her that she’s just ruined his brother’s life. Her response? A powdery powder puff in the face — causing Seth Green’s complexion to turn a nice pasty white.
That’s embarrassing. But being in Rite-Aid?
The Greenster was walking in the establishment as I was walking out — and had I not peered under his protective head gear (his baseball hat pulled way down to guard his image) I would never have realized it was him. But in “my world” I’m always keeping an extra eye out for Hollywood’s not-so-famous…because you never know when a conversation can turn into, um… the kind of conversation that can get you in trouble.
I immediately flipped back around and followed him back inside.
Seth Green was acting erratic. First he walked down the aisle that no one ever goes down in a Rite-Aid Pharmacy — the toy aisle. The toy aisle at Rite-Aid sucks. It’s filled with the kind of things you end up getting out of those mini-toy dispensers…the kinds where toys come in tiny little plastic bubbles. For a split second I wondered if he was doing shopping for his new stop-motion Cartoon Network show Robot Chicken.
But apparently his trip down the “mediocre toy aisle” was just a short cut to get him to the place he really needed to go. The Makeup Department.
Unlike supermarkets, which smartly put their make-up and cosmetics in an aisle filled with other manly items, the Rite-Aid Pharmacy sets aside the make-up and cosmetics to the very well-lit front of the store. There’s no hiding yourself if this is where you need to go. (Not that I ever need to go to this section.)
It seemed that Seth Green needed something from the make-up department and didn’t want anyone to know it.
The Greenster fondled a back-brush. Then looked around. I was quick to peruse a standee filled with portable Cheeto containers. The G-Man then turned back, checking out some cotton balls. He was eyeing the aisle behind him, a wall that displayed hundreds of make-up items from lip stick to eyeliner to powders and lash thickeners. I moved closer, hovering at the edge of the well-lit area, pretending to be interested in shampoo and conditioner.
Fortunately, I could still look like a man, as I had yet to fully enter the eye of the pharmacy make-up storm.
But for Seth Green, it was too late. He quickly reached up and pulled down a variety of womanly make-up items and made a quick bee-line for a more manly aisle — the powerbar aisle. Once there, he grabbed a handful of energy bars and drinks, and piled them in and around the make-up items he was already grasping.
I half expected myself to say something like, “Hey Seth Green. I didn’t know you wore make-up.”
But Mr. Green, with his head hung low, quickly made his way to the front counter where a register was opening right at that moment (to his relief) and his products were rung up, paid for, and the entire scenario was over.
In hindsight, I’m not quite sure Mr. Seth Green is the make-up wearing kind, but I’m also not quite sure why he’d need to pick up one of those eye-liner brushes. Personally, if Mr. SG has a girlfriend who asked him to pick up the stuff, I would have expected he might have told her that yes, “hygiene products are OK, but please don’t make me buy make-up because my public doesn’t need to think of me that way…”
Ah, yes. Your public. The exact same public who happens to be at the exact same Rite-Aid that you are, watching you as you secretly pluck make-up off the make-up wall for some unknown, sinister reason.
As Mr. Green left the establishment I was left with three things to debate. One, sure actors wear make-up but do they really go shop for it on their own? Two, if actors do wear make-up and this is a mainstream common thing in Hollywood that everyone knows, why would someone like Seth Green seek to cover up such a detail about his personal life? And three — why does Rite-Aid have to make a make-up section instead of just putting eyeliner where it should go…in the aisle next to the eye drops and the eyebrow tweezers?
These are big questions, people. And someday, I hope to answer them all.