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Small Hands, Big Problem
Have you ever been the victim of the “brain sucker” joke?
That’s where someone comes up to you from behind and takes their huge-ass palm and they put it on your head and they say to you, “Hey, do you know what this is? It’s a brain sucker — do you know what it’s doing?” and you say “No, I don’t” and they say “It’s starving!”
And when they pull their hand back off your head after alluding to the fact that you have no brain, do you instead obsess over the fact that your hands aren’t nearly as big as their hands…and that concerns you?
[Insert James Earl Jones voice over here:] “Do small hands equal a big problem?”
When you hold up your hand to your face, with the base of your palm touching your chin, does the top of your middle finger actually touch the very top of your forehead? Or is your hand too small for that?
When you go to shake hands with someone in a business situation, does their hand almost crush yours? Does their hand seemingly act like a skin-sleeping bag, wrapping your hand warmly and tightly? Do you constantly worry (like me) that people, upon shaking your hand, will say something like “Hey, I feel like my hand is a tortilla and your hand is like the filling inside of my hand-formed burrito!”?
Do you often find things slipping out of your hands (like glasses and jars and baseball bats and other people’s hands, especially when they’re hanging off an embankment and you’re trying to save them) due to the fact that your hands are too small and that when you think about your hands being too small they get sweaty which just adds to the problem of not being able to hold onto things?
I do.
When you clap, do you not clap as loudly as other people, due to the fact that the smaller the hands…the lighter the clapping sound becomes? When you wave from across a crowded room, do you worry that people won’t be able to see you waving because, well, let’s face it — your palms looks more like a buzzing fly than a waving sign? When you pat someone on the back, do they even turn around and notice or just write-off the very light-pat as the shifting of their shirt along their skin?
Can you not even cover both eyes fully in a game of hide and go seek because your hands are too small?
Nope.
Do you worry that when you kneel down to pray that God will only answer a certain smaller percentage of your prayers because you have less square footage of clasped-hand praying going on because your hands are too small?
If you’re a guy, do relationships fall apart because your hands aren’t bigger than the hands of the person you’re dating and that just seems weird from a “chivalry is not dead” kind of perspective where you feel your manliness slipping away because the girl you’re dating claps louder than you and can catch flies in mid-air (unlike you) and can palm a basketball (which you can’t do to save your life)?
I find myself being concerned about these things on a daily basis.
I’m not going to get into the measuring scenario here. I’m not going to tell you how I measured my hands and found them to be smaller than the hands of people whose hands look small to me upon looking at them in casual social situations. I’m not going to tell you about the time I went bowling and couldn’t find one bowling ball that felt tight around my fingers. I’m also not going to tell you about the time I did that “let’s see whose hands are bigger” thing with a potential date and upon realizing my hands were smaller than hers, everything fell apart.
I can try to be positive about my small hands.
For example — did you ever see Schindler’s List? Wasn’t there some whole big positive message in that movie that Oskar Schindler saved all these children from getting killed because he needed people with small hands to do work for him in a manufacturing plant and all? So, I figure, people with small hands can get jobs that other people with bigger hands probably can’t.
And also – I like that when I eat big ribs or those huge turkey drumsticks on Thanksgiving, that when I hold one of those in my hand the food looks like so much more food than it really is. And that’s cool, for two reasons: one, people get jealous that I got the biggest drumstick on the table and two, I feel like I got the biggest drumstick on the table.
And then there’s that whole thing with tight pockets in jeans. The smaller your hands, the more room you have in your pockets, and the more secretive things you can do in your pockets (no, not that). Meaning, if I was in a dangerous situation (like let’s say a bank robbery in progress) and I had a switchblade in my pocket but I didn’t want to pull it out of my pocket and open it up cause that would make noise — my small hands could get into my pocket, open the butterfly knife, open it, then remove it and save the day without ever making any noise whatsoever.
Come to think of it, there are probably a thousand reasons why having un-huge hands could be a positive thing.
Sometimes, I think, just getting these thoughts out here on the page really makes me feel a whole lot better. In fact, if I was the type of guy to change post titles after they were already posted, I would probably change this one to read: Small Hands, Not-So-Big Problem.
I’m growing here, people. (Not my hands, just ME as a person.)
And it feels, daaaaamn good.
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In other news, don’t miss out on tomorrow’s edition of “Words For Your Enjoyment” where you submit an idea for my post, I submit a post with your idea, then we all submit to a lie detector test where we ask each other questions about things we want to know the answers to, and you know, then when we get the answers we realize we never wanted to hear those answers in the first place and we probably never talk to each other ever again. Still, the wires and the hook up part of it all (where those sticky electrode things get slapped on your bare chest) is fun so it makes everything worth it.
just came across this site, it’s great to see we all talk about our small hands. this has been an issue for me my whole life. i’m 5′10 medium build, and my hands are pretty small and narrow. but not bony. my hands are 7 inches from wrist to tip of middle finger. 3 inches wide. delicate looking hands which always bothered me. my girlfriend who is 5′8″ has huge hands compared to mine. her hands are 8.25″ long and just over 4″ wide. she loves my small hands and that’s what got us talking the first time we met. i love the feeling of her thick hand and fingers wrapped around my hand. i have overcome the feeling of not being manly enough for her becuase it takes more than hands to make a relationship.
Hah, 5′10 185 here with small hands. I never worried bout em till I was about 22(26now). But I do notice every single person’s hands I come into contact with now over the past few years. It sucks having small hands, and the set of symptoms/ measurements/mental condition amongst the posters of this blog really make me think this could possibly be classified as a medical syndrome/disorder. I mean the problems are SO very similiar. Working on getting in med school partially to put my small but strong hands to use as a surgeon.
Pretty sure you can use digital traction to lengthen the fingers, but its a timely process. This should work even later in life. HGH for hand/foot growth….I doubt many MDs are gonna prescribe it for this reason heh…This would result in something liek acromegaly I’d think…google it for some pics.
18.5cm length. 10cm wide(laid flat counting thumb up against hand). Middle finger 8.75cm. Wrist circumfrence – 17cm.
Mostly length of fingers is what I’m self-conscience about.
[...] Small Hands, Big Problem: It’s a virtual self-help group in the comments section of this post, which I wrote as a comic piece to describe my obsession with the fact that my hands might be too small. Apparently, the world is filled with men who feel their hands are smaller than their girlfriend’s hands, and this is a pyschological issue they can’t stop thinking about. [...]
you guys think you have small hands? Im a 5′0″ petite women with really small hands. Just like you all, Im very self conscious about my hand especially when I hold hands with my boyfriend which in his case seems pretty large for a 5′7″. My hands measures about 5.5 inches from the wrist to the middle finger. and almost 3 inches across the palm. very small I would say. what do u guys think??
Wow, that is soooo tiny. My hands are small @ 7.25 inches but they would engulf your little ones. Even my pinkie probably is the size of your middle finger.
Linda – i would think that’s fine, cos you’re a girl and it’s ok to have small hands if you’re female!
I am a guy with normal sized hands, or at least I always thought they were. But my freaky ex-girlfriend had this strange obsession with my hands. She constantly compared hands with me and always talked about how enormous my hands were. I can’t tell you the number of times she would show her friends how tiny her hand looked in mine, which they did because she had teeny hands.
So no big deal you would think. She was very attractive and we really had a terrific relationship. If she had this weird thing for hands than so be it. It really never bothered me, and why should it. Well…… one night my girlfriend’s roommate had her sister over for dinner. I walked into the kitchen saw my girlfriend comparing her hand with the roommate’s sister and she was telling her how long her fingers were and it seemed to me she was getting all hot and bothered.
My girlfriend then asked us to compare our hands. My girlfriend then grabbed my hand and this girl’s hand and proceeded to compare them for us. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) her hand was larger than mine. I can’t even begin to describe the look on my girlfriend’s face. Or how she just went on about how she couldn’t believe it.
We broke-up maybe a month after that incident and I swear it was because that girl with freakishly big hands. I should probably thank her and give her a high five!
did u guys ever had a problem where u held someone’s hands or your hands just didnt fit well with the other person’s? like when the fingers are clasped together the fingers just somewhat made it through??
Tom UK, it is just as valid for Linda to dislike having small hands as any male.
I had a friend in school who prided herself on having the biggest hands in our class (of the girls of course). It must have made her feel unique.
Paulina
Debbie, you daughter sounds like she could totally crush my hands. that would be so bad for a guy my age!
I would find your hands really hot linda, for once mine would feel big. that would be so sexy for me. do you like guys to have small hands?
You guys are nuts, I have 7.5 inch long hands but am only 5′5″ and a guy. No women gives a crap about your hands as long as your fingernails are clean. I lose alot more dates because of my height than my hands. Grow up people!
Anyone know any exercises or massages or anything that could possibly extend the palm? or any part of the hand for that matter
i seem to have bony small hands but the finger size is ok…its the damn tiny palmss!!!! >.
Does anybody know when hands start to grow and when they stop. I have small hands, but i’m 18 and i’m hoping they’ll grow still. WIll THAT HAPPEN
I think Mike your hands has stoped growing cuz your about to reach adulthood. As for Gus, I like guys with average hands as long as I feel comfortable holding it.
what would you call average linda? how big are the largest hands you have ever held?
i agree with linda, your hands probbably will not grow much mike. i used to hope mine would grow when i was your age
I can’t see a problem with small hands especially if the other person’s hands are small as well. Then they should just fit in nicely. With any luck lol
mine would fit nicely with yours but a lot of girls might be freaked out if their hands are bigger than their man’s.
how big are the biggest hands you have ever held?
my current boyfriend’s hands are pretty big for his height. I have a friend who is the same height and his hands were much smaller. I actually prefer my friend’s hand size to hold but I like that my boyfriend’s hand is big and strong.
how big is your boyfriends hand? iv had a girlfriend before with hands that are around 9″ from wrist to fingertip, they were pretty wide and strong alos. she used to tease me about my hands
come on, 9” is unreal dude.
Gus, was your girlfriend teasing in a friendly affectionate way, or was she being mean?
hope it didnt add to your insecurities!
they were 9″ she had really long fingers. she said that her brothers were even bigger! she also told me that her little sister had bigger hands than me!
tom, she was just being friendly, i would tease her back about her giant hands. we would compare a lot and joke about them. we were an odd couple in terms of hands because mine were freakishly small and hers freakishly big.
awww, sounds cute.
so how was it holding hands with someone with such bigger hands than you? Did you mind? Did she?!
sorry but im curious!!
p.s. thanks to this blog my girlfriend now describes my hands as “Racoon Paws”, lol!
Also tips for any small-handed guitarists out there – look for a guitar with a thin narrow neck. For me my Yamaha Pacifica 112 and Yamaha RGX321 are both perfect for those with smaller reach.
i also own a Fender Jag-Stang which probably has the smallest neck ive ever played on any guitar, so thats worth considering too, though it doesnt sound too hot for lead.
Finally, its worth checking out is the Daisy Rock ‘Rock Candy’ range..theyre designed for girls with tiny girly hands, and their guitars are awesome!
For small handed bassests (yes i play bass too..and no small hands dont really hinder you!) I’ve found the best basses are the Fender Jazz (very narrow neck, also sounds beautiful) and the Peavey Millenium (same reasons).
Finally, dont let having small hands pout you off playing your instrument – everyone finds it hard at first, it has nothing to do with your hand size!