Mr. T Likes The Double-Shot Espresso
November 2nd, 2005
It was a day that will live in infamy, forever.
I was literally three minutes from my house when I decided that the best possible course of action for me and my creative lunchtime curse of MSG-fatigue (without eating any MSG of course) would be a trip to the local Starbucks Coffee where I could grab a drink that was as far from the original invention of coffee as it could ever be. You know, something with foam and sugar and chocolate covered coffee beans and fruit sorbet and the whole kitchen sink. I would walk right in there and sidle up to the counter and order my candy-coated coffee drink with enthusiasm.
That is, of course, until I saw him.
If you’re a child of the 80′s, you are probably extremely familiar with Mr. T. From his role as Clubber Lang in the hit boxing flick Rocky III or his role as the curmudgeony B. A. Baracus from TV’s The A-Team — this is the guy who made the mohawk famous along with his trademark phrase, “I Pity The Fool!”
Well… Mr. T was standing right in front of me in line.
It was then that I tuned my eavesdropping ears into the conversation in front of me, in which Mr. T picked out two chocolate covered graham crackers (for dipping) and ordered a double-shot espresso. Yes, that’s right — Mr. T, a guy with more energy and moxie than the entire city of Los Angeles, was ordering up additional adrenaline in the form of a dark, thick liquid. It was awesome.
And I had to say something or else I’d regret it.
I waited long enough for him and I to clear the counter and the ordering scenario before I placed myself right in front of him:
Me: “Hi, Mr. T.”
Mr. T looked at me and you could see it in his face. Anyone who calls him Mr. T and not by his real name must have questions about his career, his relationship with Sly Stallone, his time on The A-Team… He was cautious, and for good reason.
Mr. T: “Hey.”
He turned back away from me, waiting for his double-shot espresso.
Me: “Uh, Mr. T? Can I ask you a question?”
He turned back towards me, cautious.
Mr. T: “Yeah, yeah. What is your question?”
It was a question that I had wanted to ask since, well…forever.
Me: “Do you still pity the fool? I mean, or was that just an 80′s thing or something?”
[A beat.]
Mr. T: “Do I still…what?”
Me: “You know…do you still pity the fool? Like you used to pity those fools in the 80′s? I mean, you went around all over the place and on the TV pitying the fools but then suddenly you just stopped saying it…but people sometimes stop saying trademark phrases they’re known for but still…you know…still think it, or hold those kind of ideas close to them…”
Mr. T: “You’re kidding me…right?”
I wasn’t.
Me: “No, well… No.”
By that point, Mr. T’s double-shot espresso was ready and they called him but not by the Mr. T name but by another name altogether. It was a startling, weird moment as he glared at me, then picked up his energy elixir. It was then, coffee in hand, that he swung back around — face to face.
Mr. T: “I pity the fool who has to ask me if I still pity the fool.”
It was the coolest thing Mr. T could have ever said to me. And it convinced me, that yes, even though someone stops pitying a fool in public doesn’t mean they’ve stopped pitying fools altogether. Mr. T proved that to me along with one very important detail…
Mr. T likes the double-shot espresso.
Pauly was he covered in chains and was his hair like it was in the 80s?
Comment by Hilary — November 2, 2005 @ 10:08 am
If you had audio of that, it would be golden… I pitty the fool who doesn’t have an iRiver to record stuff like that.
Comment by monkeyinabox — November 2, 2005 @ 10:13 am
I believe I have a new respect for the man, coffee choices aside.
Comment by Meg — November 2, 2005 @ 10:23 am
Hil – no chains or anything like that. He was wearing sweat pants, a tank top and didn’t have the mohawk anymore.
As for audio – I have been thinking about setting myself up with a wire, hidden underneath my shirt, for situations like this.
Comment by Pauly D — November 2, 2005 @ 10:26 am
Does Mr. T have a real name? I bet you it is something really wussy like Marion.
Comment by Neil — November 2, 2005 @ 10:43 am
at least he’s not a pitiful 80s hasbeen. i’d pity that fool.
Comment by em — November 2, 2005 @ 11:33 am
What can you possibly do in your life that will top asking Mr. T is he still “pitties the fool?” Asking Peter Faulk what he paid for his shoes?
Comment by Dan — November 2, 2005 @ 12:18 pm
God I loved The A-Team. B.A. was just the epitome of cool. Living in L.A. must be fun for this sort of thing.
Comment by Kevin — November 2, 2005 @ 12:26 pm
I like Mr. T. Not only did he have a smokin’ body back in the day, but he has also won his real life battle with cancer (insert photo montage and infomercial music here). I love that you asked him that — I would have been scared to say anything — like when I saw Gene Simmons recently and I wanted to say hi but I was afraid he’d stick his tongue out at me. And I was afraid I’d like it. Wait, I’m sorry — what were we talking about?
Comment by Amber — November 2, 2005 @ 12:52 pm
Laurence Tereaud.
Mr Laurence “T” Teraud.
Comment by Paige — November 2, 2005 @ 12:57 pm
Too bad he doesn’t still have his mohawk though, did he seem just as tough in real life? Ahhhh… gotta love icons of the ’80′s.
Comment by Alissa — November 2, 2005 @ 1:29 pm
That was seriously cool!!! I love those fun celebrity moments that are pure gold
Comment by LisaBinDaCity — November 2, 2005 @ 1:41 pm
Paul, you lucky bastard!
I admire your boldness. It’s quite possible Mr. T. is still capable of punching your nose through the back of your head, especially jazzed-up on S-bucks double espressos.
You are my Hero of the Day!
Comment by Trouble — November 2, 2005 @ 3:00 pm
Wow, that pretty much made my favorite blog post of the year!
Comment by Glenn Brown — November 2, 2005 @ 3:50 pm
Keep it up and he’s going to get Hannibal or The Face after you.
Comment by Amy — November 2, 2005 @ 3:53 pm
That is unfathomably (is that a word?) awesome.
Comment by Glen C. — November 2, 2005 @ 5:57 pm
Pauly – do not go with the wire under your shirt. With your luck, he’d have spilled the coffee on you and you’d end up like the guy in the Cap 1 commercial – sparking all over the place.
Hey Neil – what wrong with Marion? It was John Wayne’s real name. I’ll bet your last name is Over.
Comment by anon — November 2, 2005 @ 6:56 pm
i pity the fool who has to catch up with a month’s worth of WFME (that would be me) and decides to do so chronologically… well, actually it was very indulgent, especially finishing up with this delicious nugget of a post. although i found myself asking October-themed questions, such as: “what if Mr. T punches Pauly in the head? will Pauly finally know what it sounds like to be punched in the head? will he make it alive to his 2000th post? when he asked his question did sweat marks appear in his pit regions?”
Comment by hadashi — November 3, 2005 @ 12:41 am
Hey man,
jsut kinda stumbled along this site, but very amusing, i like what i read. I pity the fool….golden.
I forgot to fluff this time
Comment by Jungleconda — November 3, 2005 @ 4:47 am
Oh, Hadashi! Glad to see you’ve returned after certain glorious nuptials. Just think of a month of posts as my present to you. (The Crate & Barrel stuff is, I’m sure, in the mail.)
Comment by Pauly D — November 3, 2005 @ 8:32 am
Isn’t Mr T doing the Lords work these days? Does he still call himself Mr T when he’s preaching?
Comment by robert dean — November 3, 2005 @ 9:51 am
No.
He’s Father T, now.
Comment by Pauly D — November 3, 2005 @ 9:52 am
I can’t believe no one cares that his name is LAURENCE!
LAURENCE! LAURENCE TERAUD! I’m getting a tattoo so there will be a proper moment of appreciation for this kernel of knowledge, even if I get drunk and forget about it days later!
Comment by Paige — November 3, 2005 @ 9:56 am
I care, Paige. I do. I really do. Thank you for taking the time to look up such information for all of us.
Comment by Pauly D — November 3, 2005 @ 10:07 am
Does he still have the Mohawk?
Comment by C(h)ristine — November 3, 2005 @ 10:09 am
Wow. Reminds me of the time I saw David Hasselhoff in the Marie Calendars on Ventura Blvd in Studio City. I had often thought that if I ever saw him, I would have some really cool question to ask. But I didn’t. I just kept looking at him thinking “Wow. he has really big hair.”
Comment by Michelle — November 3, 2005 @ 2:45 pm
I love that you had the guts to ask something totally inane and star-f*cker-esque like that, get a response like he gave you, and be cool with it.
I love that he had the balls to say that.
Being an LA native, it’s funny for me to hear about celeb sightings. I am utterly desensitized and never say anything to celebs, I just look at em, note it, and try not to look again. But Eddie Izzard at brunch one morning was almost too much for me.
Comment by Adri — November 4, 2005 @ 12:32 am
No offence intended but, I disagree.
Comment by JP — November 4, 2005 @ 9:36 am
This… this was almost too awesome for me to bear.
I love that you asked him, I love that he said “no” and I love that he would come back and say he pities the fool who would ask him if he pities the fool.
This is the best thing I’ve read all day – nay! All week!
Comment by MadMup — November 4, 2005 @ 10:17 am
That’s freakin’ awesome! And while I’m a regular WFME reader, I happened upon your story via USA Today.
At my old job someone once spotted Mr. T in the elevator as he was heading up to his manager’s office. My fiance Brent, a HUGE Mr. T fan, was so excited when I told him, that I thought Brent was going to spend his days riding the elevator in the hopes of his own encounter.
Comment by Nanette — November 4, 2005 @ 10:24 am
That’s hilarious, Nanette!
Well, you should tell Brent that if he hangs out at the Starbucks Coffee in Sherman Oaks on Riverside Drive — he’ll probably run into Mr. T sooner or later. He’s spotted there on a weekly basis.
Comment by Pauly D — November 4, 2005 @ 10:26 am
This is me leaving work IMMEDIATELY, taking two or five steps at a time to get in my early 80′s crime-fighting conversion van and performing a series of cool-looking but generally purposeless wheelies as I make my way over to the aforementioned Starbucks where I then commandeer a seat near the door and monitor the premises for a glimpse of Mr. T in his natural habitat. When Mr. T arrives, our eyes will lock and we’ll immediately engage in an eventually legendary fist fight that will stun yet thrill the baristas. After nearly three hours of throwing mighty, thunderous blows amid the Sumtran whole grounds, Mr. T and I will reach a stalemate born of exhaustion and mutual respect at which point we’ll hi-five and laugh heartily as Starbucks manager Kristy launches into a stirring a cappella rendition of “Eye of the Tiger.” Finally, a legitimate reason to visit the valley.
Comment by Brent — November 4, 2005 @ 11:14 am
can you guys believe I’ve never ordered a beveage from Starbucks? I just cant get caught up in the fad… lol
Comment by Tfraleycoersa — November 5, 2005 @ 6:43 am
used to love Mr. T…
Comment by bird — November 5, 2005 @ 11:35 pm
That had to be the coolest thing ever! I wonder if Face likes Chai Lattes?
Comment by DJazzyCool1 — November 7, 2005 @ 6:18 am
The funny thing is, I’d think he would want to be called Mr. T. He actually changed his name to Mr. T over 25 years ago so that people would be forced to call him “Mister”. He said that if anyone calls and asks for Lawrence, he tells them that nobody is there by that name.
Comment by Will — November 7, 2005 @ 10:41 am
“Laurence Teraud” is such a classy name. Thanks, Paige, for finding that nugget of info. Someone had to thank her.
Comment by Lala — November 7, 2005 @ 12:53 pm
I saw Mr. T back in the 80′s…he lived in Lake Forest, Illinois and all of his neighbors were pissed off at him for cutting down his trees but I really think that the uptight preppies needed a good cappucino enema…Of course, all of this was happening about the same time that A team was near disappearing and hell, it was a cold winter…and Mr. T was, correct me if I am mistaken, a spokesperson for the anti-drug…telling kids that it ain’t cool to drink, etc…Good old eighties…and then I believe that Mr. T must have been driven to the brink of despair for out of the very corner of my eye, I caught him buying a bottle of booze at Walgreens on the corner of Western and Deerpath Rd…He paid and slipped out into the snowy distance…his black overcoat draped about him like a misfit of the night….and beneath his purple scarf…was a bottle, close to his chest for the blizzardly walk home…I imagine him taking nips and tucking it back in, a deep hypertensive breath…with the wind trailing behind his mohawk…
Comment by Marina — November 9, 2005 @ 8:31 pm
I eat babies, Mr. T does too.
It is said that Mr. T wasn’t born regularly, but that he punched his way out of his mothers womb and went insane on a few doctors. His mohawk was said to have developed about 6 months later.
Comment by Donkey — November 9, 2005 @ 10:09 pm
I thought I’d let you know that this entry just made my day, but I must say I also pity the fool who doesn’t have an espresso for that extra adrenaline rush early in the morning. Sadly, that fool is me, but in the future, my coffee of choice will be a double-shot espresso–just like Mr. T. I’d also go for the mohawk, but I’d probably just look retarded.
Comment by Chaz — November 10, 2005 @ 6:01 am
Donkey – if you got that fact from 4q.cc… Mr. T pity is pitying you right now.
Comment by Voltron — December 8, 2005 @ 10:54 pm
Why do you feel the need to go bother a stranger, especially when said stranger is a celebrity who already has to dodge enough paparazzi etc. to make one sick of them. Based on your description of the situation, he really just wanted to get a cup of coffee and be left in peace. Why couldn’t you let him have that moment?
Comment by Anon1 — July 7, 2006 @ 1:07 pm
Mr. T related info…
There is a sketch comedy show on BBC called Little Britain which I reccomend to everyone. Their 2nd season opens up with a skit about a man who sees a perfect Mr. T look-alike at the gym. He approaches the look alike (gold chains, mohawk and all) to tell him he looks like Mr. T, but the second man has never even heard of Mr. Teraud. I may have just ruined it by trying to explain it,but it is definately worth watching.
Comment by Katrinka — July 7, 2006 @ 1:46 pm
http://imdb.com/title/tt0494722/
Crazy. What’ll that be like?
Comment by Pierce — July 8, 2006 @ 7:25 am
Classic! What a moment! This alone is adding so much to his image and perceived coolness, dude should be greatful you approached him!
Comment by Re-Up on the videos — July 18, 2006 @ 10:44 am
T was sidelined from his vocation of fool-pitying for a while by cancer (T cell lymphoma, actually).
Since laying a Rocky III-level hurt on his neoplasm, though, he’s been quietly recompiling his pity list. Later this year, as Pierce points out above, he’ll even premier his own series on TV Land, I Pity the Fool, which promises to proffer a kinder, gentler brand of pity for the new millennium.
T’s not limiting the pity to fools either. He’s extended his pity to the victims of Hurricane Katrina as well, in something approaching the ultimate good will gesture—hanging up his trademark gold chains for good.
Comment by Dan — July 19, 2006 @ 12:12 pm
I WOULD LIKE MEET WITH MR. T SEE IF YOU CAN GIVE ME SOME INFO HOW TO CONTACT HIM .. HE IS VERY INSPIRATION TO ME
THANK YOU
DAVID
Comment by DAVID MALLIPUDI — August 3, 2006 @ 8:25 am
Hi, I have always liked Mr. T because he stood up for the Lord. He always has a great message to bring on TBN. He has kept himself in great shape all these years. However, I’m not sure where he is going with this Pitty the Fool thing.. It comes across like somebody wanting to pick fights. I am not so sure somebody won’t deck him for walking up to them and taking over their stuff then calling them a fool. I know he is up beat street and all of that…but I just always thought MR. T was for the Lord. It’s sending a different image. God bless you Mr. T. I know you have reached a lot of people and made a big difference in this ol world. I know the world is full of dummies. I hope you understand what I am trying to say. GBU, PSB
Comment by Pamela Smith/Burnett — October 9, 2006 @ 10:54 am
You know, Mr.T JUST came out with anew TV show on one of the cable stations and guess what it’s called…
…”I Pity The Fool”!
And NO! I’m not kidding. He goes around getting people to open their eyes and see what’s going on around them and what not.
Maybe you had something to do with this. You know, a small spark in his brain that lead to his new show now.
Comment by Ray McNally — October 27, 2006 @ 12:48 am
That’s pretty much the greatest thing I’ve ever read. Thanks for making my day, or, dare I say, week!
Comment by Alex — April 29, 2007 @ 1:16 am
Heheheh. I had a Mr. T weight set when I was a kid. I’m glad he still pities fools.
Comment by DCB — November 21, 2007 @ 10:22 am
Did he call it a doppio?
Comment by Mr. Understanding — November 24, 2007 @ 8:36 pm