You are currently browsing the archive for October 2005.
October 22nd, 2005
He would say things like, “Hey, dude. Paul. Turn left up here. They were working on that sidewalk last week and the cement is totally uneven. And I know you’re wearing those new shoes and if you hate messing up the heels of a brand new pair of shoes like I do then you’ll hang a left, buddy, and do us both a favor because if you complain later that your shoes are messed up and didn’t listen to me, well, you’ll never hear the end of it.”
Aah. My monkey on my back.
Posted under What If. | 7 Comments »
October 21st, 2005
Community butter is a bad idea.
Let me just say that out of the gate. Any food item that allows one person to take their knife, which they’ve already used for a variety of other reasons (including picking crap out of their teeth and slathering olive chutney you-know-what) and then messily drag that knife through a community slab of butter, mangling it and destroying it…isn’t a food item I’m interested in having anywhere near me.
Now this isn’t about butter. I love butter. Butter is the most awesome food complimentor on the face of the Earth. Butter makes dry things moist, makes moist things moister and makes moister things wet. Butter makes dark things lighter, lighter things whiter and whiter things white. And butter gives bland things a taste, gives tasty things a paste and pasty things a waist. (That’s a calorie metaphor, by the way.)
Posted under Food and Drink. | 24 Comments »
October 20th, 2005
It’s nice to see others putting their words into print.
That’s why today is an exciting day for WFME pal and creative colleague Jessica Stover, who you may or may not know from her above aforementioned blog (see link). If you don’t, well, your life is a mere shadow of it could be. If you do, well, your life is a mere shadow of what it once was.
Back to the exciting day. Why so exciting? Because her self-published book Aidmheil is now available for pre-order which includes a swanky inscription by Stover herself, and probably something else very cool that involves a health aid or a german cookie of some kind (I assume this due to the fact that the title of the book includes the words “aid” and “heil”). Then again, it may just be yet another sphinx-like riddle from the queen of riddles.
Posted under Books, Words Elsewhere. | 8 Comments »
October 20th, 2005
When driving behind a huge gas tanker on the highway, the kinds with the huge mirror-like oval back, why do I feel the need to drive close enough so I can both see my car and fix my hair at the same time?
Posted under Questions. | 11 Comments »
October 20th, 2005
I can’t hear you, drugstore standing homeless fundraiser guy.
I can see you, sure, standing there with your little bell in your fancy white suit with a little pail that people can throw change into for your “supposed” homeless shelter fundraising event. You stand there, in front of my drugstore, every single day of every single week of every single month — and although I may be able to see you, I am a pro at pretending that I definitely cannot hear you.
I mean, don’t the people at the fundraising home base ever call you up and say, “Dude, you’ve been out there every day for the last year. Why don’t you come back to the office and do some real fundraising work.”
Posted under It's True!, Stream of Consciousness. | 11 Comments »
« Previous words - More words »
