The Items of 10 Items or Less
October 23rd, 2005
It’s time my ten items got a shout out.
With the public pressure we all get at that moment we step into the “10 Items or Less” line, it’s a wonder that any of us ever stand in such a line. If you have eleven items, you’ll get the evil eye. If you have ten items but some are more than one item packaged together, people talk in hushed tones. Legitimately standing in and passing through the 10 Items or Less line is something that requires skill, moxie, and the perfect list of 10 Items or less.
Like the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, I give you…my ten items in my ten items or less basket in the ten items or less line, totally and legitimately ten items or less.
Dishwasher Soap
Dog Treats
A Toothbrush
Scope Mouthwash
A Deli-Prepared Container of Hot Wings
A Can (Not 6 Cans) of Soda
A Grapefruit
Shaving Cream (Single Can, Not Economy Double-Packed)
One Package Ground Beef (Not Two Patties, Pre-Formed)
One Single Pack of Gum
It’s tough to come up with the perfect 10 Items or Less list, but I think this one deserves some healthy support and pats on the back.
Yes, but multiple dot greats? And multiple hot wings? I’d have to ponder this awhile before I put them in my 10 Items Hall Of Fame.
Comment by benny — October 23, 2005 @ 9:30 am
heh.. I guess dot greats = dog treats.
Comment by benny — October 23, 2005 @ 9:31 am
What happens if you only have one box of a dozen donuts? Which line is the politically correct line to get into?
Comment by Amy — October 23, 2005 @ 9:38 am
Every time I get into the “10 Items or Less” line with my half-gallon of milk and my pint of Ben & Jerry’s, the woman ahead of me will have NO LESS than 57 items. I always give her a nasty look that says, “Lady, if you can’t count to ten then I don’t trust you to operate a stove to cook all that damn food.” Normally, whoever the woman happens to be that week will snap at me, “I don’t have TIME to wait in a long line.”
Oh, and this woman will inevitably have 286 coupons, half of which are expired.
AND she never helps bag her own groceries.
Comment by Rabbit — October 23, 2005 @ 9:41 am
There was a lady standing in the line with a full cart, a handful of coupons and her checkbook. She turns to the guy behind her who is carrying one item and says, “Is that all you have?”
“Yes.”
“Well, you’d better go back and get some more because I’m gonna be awhile.”
Comment by nic — October 23, 2005 @ 9:49 am
The rule of thumb is this: if it’s a prepackaged item of food in a box (cereal, dog treats, doughnuts), that counts as one item. If it’s something that normally isn’t packaged together (two bottles of shampoo held together by a plastic wrap) then it counts for the number of items that are packaged together.
Benny is right about the hot wings. I may very well be wrong on that one, but I’m willing to stand strong to my list of 10 items. If I didn’t stand strong, what kind of human being would I be?
A weak one, that’s which one.
Comment by Pauly D — October 23, 2005 @ 10:31 am
shouldn’t it just go by SKU (you know, those little cryptica lines and codes on the item that they scan)? one SKUT=1 item?
Comment by C(h)ristine — October 23, 2005 @ 12:12 pm
do you guys have the self-check lines out in CA?
I find that I’m able to sneak an extra item or two through when it’s me doing the scanning. Fewer evil looks!
Comment by Snidget — October 23, 2005 @ 1:00 pm
Exactly how many sticks of gum were in that pack?!
Comment by Fun Joel — October 23, 2005 @ 2:30 pm
We have self-check lanes up in New England, but I’m too lazy to use them.
Of course, what I tell people is that I am providing job security to pimple-faced teenagers, high school drop-outs, and retarded kids.
Comment by Rabbit — October 23, 2005 @ 6:19 pm
What the hell kind of meal are you making?
Comment by Dashiell — October 23, 2005 @ 9:32 pm
But do you have a dog?
Comment by Neil — October 24, 2005 @ 1:45 am
I always chat up the latina girl while she scans my 10+ items; she’s so flattered that I noticed her lip liner that she loses track of how many items I really have. But I shop after peak hours and during major televised sporting events.
Comment by Michael Guy — October 24, 2005 @ 3:00 am
I am going to be immensely unpopular with this nitpick and I know you know better, but technically shouldn’t it be the “10 items or FEWER” line? My store corrected this heinous grammatical error a couple of years ago. OK, maybe ‘heinous’ is a little strong. It doesn’t matter anymore though because now we use self-check and as far as I know, there is no rule governing the number of items that one must have in order to use self-check.
Now to totally contradict myself. I guess, we are so accustomed to saying “10 items or less” that that is now the “correct” usage. As a linguist-in-training, I am supposed to describe, not prescribe, but sometimes I just can’t help myself!
Comment by Ms.Q — October 25, 2005 @ 10:05 am
Buy dog treats! Lazy! Selfish! You need to read my 10/17/05 post “These bitches live the high life…” Read. Learn. Do.
Comment by purpletwinkie — October 25, 2005 @ 4:52 pm
I think the one can of soda, the grapefruit, even the gum is a little pushing the hard-core rule-abiding.
No, it is not good enough to be the perfect list. We need substance.
By the way, how often does one need to purchase a tooth brush?
Comment by Her.Oine — October 25, 2005 @ 8:15 pm
I buy a toothbrush every six months, or if someone accidentally knocks it on the floor or uses it once by accident.
I could never get past that “here, use my toothbrush” thing. ICK.
Comment by Pauly D — October 26, 2005 @ 10:25 am