Comments on: I Can’t Hear You, Drugstore Standing Homeless Fundraiser Guy

By: anon

anon — Sat, 22 Oct 2005 00:08:15 +0000

Okay - back in the 60s the gentlemen of the Nation of Islam (Black Muslims) would stand outside of public buildings (e.g. DMV) and try to get you to buy their newspaper. Now, I’m a polite person, but don’t get my ass up, you know? So, I’d say, “No thank you,” with a smile. At that point they’d start calling me White Bitch and other charming epithets that meant a lot to them. Upon exiting said building the same scene would ensue (we White Bitches all look alike).

Since then, it’s like water off the proverbial duck’s back. Except that I don’t say thank you anymore. I just look them in the eye, smile and say, “No.” I know that I tithe to Doctors Without Borders - they don’t ned to know that. So it’s just, “no,” and move on. No need to get exercised about it, my friend.

By: nic

nic — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 13:54:06 +0000

Just give him money … you KNOW you have it.

By: Pauly D

Pauly D — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 22:50:55 +0000

Well, I guess I could scream Bob Saget’s name, Glen. But I sorta don’t think that would get them to stop asking me for money.

By: Glen C.

Glen C. — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 22:49:47 +0000

Keeping the Tourette’s Syndrome idea going, “BOB SAGET! I HAVE TO GET SOME MINTS!”

By: Pauly D

Pauly D — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 22:37:39 +0000

I want to try out some sort of Tourette’s Syndrome response:

“Spare some change for the Valley Homeless Shelter of the Greater Los Angeles Area?”

“F*CK! MOTHERF*CKER! Oh, no thanks.”

By: Amy

Amy — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 22:35:19 +0000

I never give to them. I’m a bitch. I’d rather spend the money buying Infant Tylenol so my son stops screaming about his teething. THAT’S what will make me happy…NOT donating money to a questionable homeless organization represented by a guy who will spend the dough on Jesus Juice.

By: Daniel Nicolas

Daniel Nicolas — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 22:33:55 +0000

I like AJ’s idea. “I’m collecting too!”
“No, really. I’m just gonna go in and ask the lady at the register to donate a few dollars from the register and I’m gonna come back and setup camp here, okay?”

By: Helena

Helena — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 22:02:10 +0000

I always feel guilty saying I don’t have any cash, when I’m walking into a store to BUY things.

I’m having a vision of the manamana number as performed by Pauly D and his backup Dudes in White Suits.

You’re a very cute muppet.

By: AJ

AJ — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 20:32:26 +0000

Why not carry around your OWN change bucket. Then, when you see him, you give him that knowing look that says, “Tough day at the office for me, too”

Oh. Remember, don’t shave. It will help.

And try to stink like beer and incontinence.

By: Flower Girl

Flower Girl — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 17:31:58 +0000

I have some methods…I use them for the Kroger’s-I-Want-Your-Spare-Change-for-the-Blind-Guy I see every Thursday:

1. Respond to his request in sign language.
2. Respond to his request in my own “special foreign language.”
3. Ask if he takes credit cards.

I haven’t actually tried #3, but I just thought of it and if I can ask that sincerely without sounding b*tchy, I’m gonna try it on my way home. Whoo hoo!