The 20 Millionth Blog
October 18th, 2005
It’s coming, people.
Unless you were living under a rock or something, you probably were aware that as of this very minute… Technorati confirms there are about 19.6 million blogs out there. That means that, just like the baggers at the supermarket getting excited about that one millionth customer…so to shall we be about the twenty millionth blog.
Oh, it’s coming.
The dreamer part of me believes that this twenty millionth blog could be something really special. It could be something amazing that we have never seen before. It could be the blog to end all blogs — the one to snap us all out of our complacency here in the world of blogs. Don’t deny it - you’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately with the amount of blog reading on your plate. You’ve been wondering where enthusiasm suddenly turned to overwhelmiasm. Well, no longer.
The 20 millionth blog is going to change all that.
When I sit here thinking about all the cool new kind of features that 20 millionth blog could have, my mind is aswirl with ideas. My excitement builds as I think about the kind of ultra-cool background wallpaper and MIDI theme music that could potentially be there. I can hope that the 20 millionth blog has yellow text on a black background with some red highlights — you know, the kind of blog that requires you to do that secret “highlight the entire page thing” in order to read the words.
The 20 millionth blog will have that and more.
If we’re lucky, the 20 millionth blog will be written by someone with a lot of drama in their life. Someone who has recently gotten into a fight with a boyfriend or girlfriend, someone who has had the car trouble to end all car trouble, someone who caught someone doing something they shouldn’t have been doing. The 20 millionth blog, if I’m dreaming here, will bring me back day after day after day (that’s three days) and I can just hear the kind words the blogosphere will be saying about it:
“Did you catch the 20 millionth blog? Man, so cool. There’s an animated GIF on it with a kitten eating its young! So coooool.”
“Twenty millionth blog went live today. It is ON fire. No, seriously. It’s got this awesome flame wallpaper image and half of someone’s head being eaten off by a lizard. Yah!”
“Check out this URL. It’s the twenty millionth blog. It has twenty million pictures of a baby in a flower pot.”
The excitement is more than I can handle.
As you can see - there’s a cracklin’ excitement of energy permeating the sparkling chaos of the blogosphere due to the fact that the twenty millionth blog is coming. People are talking behind the scenes, on IM and around the office lately. It’s like Y2K but without the world-ending destruction. Planes may not drop out of the sky and your bank accounts may not reset to zero, but your life on the Internet most definitely will when the 20 Millionth blog arrives.
When will it happen? How will it all play out? Will it make you giddy with excitement and cause you to lose sleep on that one particular night? Questions I do not have the answer to, my friends. But things that I can most definitely confirm. The twenty millionth blog is coming…
And I just can’t contain myself.
My inner cynic fears that the 20 Millionth blog may just be another spam blog. My inner racecar hopes that the 20M blog is a formula racing blog. I have never typed the word Millionth before.
Comment by kingbenny — October 18, 2005 @ 8:11 am
i hope it’s a blog on overwhelmiasm. that sounds hot.
Comment by kristine — October 18, 2005 @ 8:18 am
There is NO WAY that the 20 Millionth blog will be a spam blog, Benny. That would be inconceivable.
Comment by Pauly D — October 18, 2005 @ 8:18 am
It’ll probably be just another Los Angeles hack, trying to be funny.
Comment by Pierce — October 18, 2005 @ 8:36 am
Why is Ajax the number one search on Technorati (see photo)? Either most bloggers are complete computer language nerds (hey, I looked it up) or completely anal about cleaning their homes with Ajax. I’m hoping the 20 millionth blog is all about Ajax.
Comment by Neil — October 18, 2005 @ 8:50 am
My inner cynic suggests the 20 millionth blog will probably be someone who doesn’t really “blog,” per se… it’ll be someone who just aggregates links to other people’s entries that he/she likes (with block quotes of the entry portions that really tickled that person’s fancy, of course).
Either that, or it’ll be some high schooler who has SuCH aN iNtErEsTiNg LiFe OMG BTW LOL!!!!!!
Comment by Keith — October 18, 2005 @ 8:55 am
I was going to speculate on what the 20 millionth blog might be but then I got distracted by Keith’s comment. OH. NO. What if it is some ridiculous teenage blog? Chock full of horrific spelling and abbreviations and acronyms like OMJZXQV that actually mean nothing but is some sort of teenage blog super code. And the rampant overuse of “LOL” with a multitude of exclamation points behind it — OH THE HUMANITY. I will say right now that if THAT’S the 20 millionth blog, I can’t be responsible for my actions. I will not be LOL. Or any other action that could possibly be abbreviated.
Comment by Amber — October 18, 2005 @ 9:59 am
The 20 millionth blog will be about the life-cycle of Twinkies. How do I know this? Well, I’m staying up late just waiting to publish it once there are 19,999,999 blogs. My F5 key is wearing down.
Comment by monkeyinabox — October 18, 2005 @ 10:10 am
God, I hope it’s all about Twinkies. That’s a great idea, actually!
Comment by Pauly D — October 18, 2005 @ 10:30 am
But… the life-cycle of Twinkies? That I’m just not prepared for, from their humble beginnings in some factory, to their quite humble ends in… well.. this is where I’m not prepared.
Comment by kingbenny — October 18, 2005 @ 10:39 am
Well, knowing the fates as I do, I’d say that it would probably be another self-loving Stephanie Klein-esque snorefest about the ‘ying-yangs of celery root and fennel salted with the tears of failed loves’…blech!
Comment by Matthew — October 18, 2005 @ 10:52 am
I kinda figured you were already working on it, P.
Comment by nic — October 18, 2005 @ 11:13 am
Gee, I really, REALLY hope the 20-millionth blog is a MySpace blog. I love that MySpace. I can spend alllllll day on it.
Comment by AJ — October 18, 2005 @ 12:21 pm
19.7 million now and 1.6 billion links. I quiver with anticipation…
Comment by danielle — October 18, 2005 @ 12:24 pm
Holy crap - at this rate the 20 millionth blog is going to be created sometime between 5pm PST today and the time I shoot myself in the head.
Comment by Pauly D — October 18, 2005 @ 12:26 pm
Inconceivable!
Anybody want a peanut?
Comment by ms. sizzle — October 18, 2005 @ 12:38 pm
it will be like the world of books (more aspiring writers than there are readers, especially true in poetry): there will be more bloggers than readers of blogs.
will there then be a campaign to “READ BLOGS!”?
Comment by C(h)ristine — October 18, 2005 @ 12:39 pm
I’m predicting a blog about PEZ. That would be cool.
Comment by kartooner — October 18, 2005 @ 12:45 pm
In fact, and I’ll shut up after this — the 20 millionth blog should be a blog that encourages bloggers to READ BLOGS, like C(h)ristine said.
That would be so ironic. Don’t you think?
Sort of like the time I got an order of ten thousand spoons when all I needed was a knife.
Comment by Pauly D — October 18, 2005 @ 12:47 pm
Maybe the 20 millionth blog will be written by a ninety-year-old lady out to prove she can embrace such technology. Or maybe not. Maybe it’ll just be a blog about advertising on your blog.
Comment by Amy — October 18, 2005 @ 2:50 pm
And out of all those 19.6 million, seven of them have something entertaining to say.
Comment by Armaedes — October 18, 2005 @ 3:13 pm
too bad 15 million of those blogs officially suck ass.
Comment by Dawn (webmiztris) — October 18, 2005 @ 4:14 pm
i’m securing the url http://www.20millionthblog.com as we speak.
Comment by meme — October 18, 2005 @ 5:05 pm
Hard to do Meme when 9rules, Inc. already owns the domain…
With that said the 20 millionth blog will be whatever 9rules wants it to be since we now control the web. At least the part that matters.
Comment by Scrivs — October 18, 2005 @ 7:34 pm
Well, I already reserved the url 20milYoungthBlog.com.
You so know people are gonna be searching for that.
Comment by Pauly D — October 18, 2005 @ 8:05 pm
Don’t forget the pasta button. The 20 millionth blog has GOTTA have a pasta button.
Comment by Will — October 18, 2005 @ 8:16 pm
everybody knows ‘rati is slow as fuck and dont update in real time.
come on, pauly. you’re slipping.
Comment by heather — October 18, 2005 @ 8:21 pm
Okay, I’m pissed. Someone really DID register http://www.20millionthblog.com.
Hmph.
Comment by Pauly D — October 18, 2005 @ 8:26 pm
Pretty cool! Blogging the next force in the world
Comment by Sierra — October 18, 2005 @ 9:35 pm
READ blogs!!!!
Comment by C(h)ristine — October 19, 2005 @ 10:57 am
you could have the 20 millionth blog. just make up a temporary blog in Blogger called “Adventures with Pauly D”. watch technorati everyday, until you can see it is getting close…like watching your ebay auction. and right when it turns 19.9, you press SUBMIT and bang! you are #20 millionth. then you can write about it…
Comment by jenny — October 19, 2005 @ 4:08 pm
Did you think I was joking when I said 9rules owned the domain? Really I wasn’t. Don’t be mad though, we are the good guys.
Comment by Scrivs — October 20, 2005 @ 12:15 am
Scrivs, what are your plans man? That’s a pretty swank domain to snatch up!
Comment by kartooner — October 20, 2005 @ 7:47 am
I think that asking Paul Scrivens what his plans are is like asking an elderly person how the dating scene in the nursing home is. The answer is scary and you don’t want to hear it=)
Comment by kingbenny — October 20, 2005 @ 9:13 am
kingbenny - that is hilarious.
My idea: the 20 millionth blog is an anti-technology blog that is written on paper and scanned in everyday by a hired wage-slave. The slave wage has his own blog, but he is not allowed to use paper. Instead, he must use sticky notes….
Comment by Daniel Nicolas — October 20, 2005 @ 3:39 pm
What I want to know is if Scrivens snagged it up ONLY AFTER this site postulated about it.
Intellectual property is like 9 and a half tenths of the law, or something like that.
Comment by Pauly D — October 20, 2005 @ 3:50 pm
I don’t know what anybody is talking about. I have a hangover so that makes me 9 and a half tenths inebriated, or something like that.
And kingbenny, the dating scene in the home is always jumping off. New talent coming in every week now.
Comment by Scrivs — October 21, 2005 @ 9:46 am
Just register the url of twentymillionthblog with a typo in it. that’ll probably get you way more visitors anyway. ;P
Comment by C(h)ristine — October 22, 2005 @ 1:40 pm
i feel SO sorry for all the people who have to write blog like this. im only 15, my friend nearly died on the weekend, i have not left her side ever since. you guys need to draw yourselves away from the damn computer and go and get some real social skills. you need to be with REAL people.
Comment by Blah — October 24, 2005 @ 6:52 am