Unused Post Titles (That Will Remain Unused)
October 15th, 2005
You, Me, Tree
Why ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ Makes Me Weep
Living with Apes
“Dad, Can You Spare A Liver?”
A,B,C, Easy as 1,2,8.
71 - The Funniest Number in the World
If I Was the Letter ‘F’
Napoleon: Dwarf or Midget?
Swallowing Pennies for $50,000
Inching My Way To A Better Foot
Hey, Buddy You’ve Got The Stink!
Yearly Income Tax Statement Poetry
Two Heads Are Better Than Three
Single Me Out, Double My Pay
I Could Be You
You Could Be Me
We Could Be Them
They Could Be Us
“Us Could Be Them:” Grammatically Incorrect
You Choose: Crying or Squawking
There’s A Dog In Your Coffee
Sometimes You Just Gotta Say, “Where’s the Truck?”
Tawgagian Politics and Gorgon Law
Sing Me A Song, Ethel!
The DVD Coaster Coefficient
Don’t Touch Me, You’ve Got Juice On Your Hand
“Eiw, Sticky” (Part 2 to Don’t Touch Me…)
Realize I Hate You, And We Can Get Along
Eyebrow Dancing In the Naughts
Me, The Rockstar
You, The Groupie
Them, The…Um, Rockstar Groupies
Fortunately, We’re Dead
Famous Last Lines…of Coke
I Took Druhgs, But I Ayint Dum
Lick: My Most Unfavorite Word
Actually, Napoleon was neither a dwarf nor a midget. He was actually quite average-sized. The notion of his small stature is a historical misconception, started by his nickname “the tiny general,” which he was given because of his RANK, not due to his height.
Also, I would argue that 52 is the funniest number in the world. (Well, I would argue that if you were to actually write the aforementioned post about “71,” anyway—which you won’t, obviously).
Comment by Will — October 15, 2005 @ 9:15 am
Ohhh, but I’m especially intrigued by “Lick: My Most Unfavorite Word”– won’t you please reconsider?
I think I’ve actually used some variation of “Don’t Touch Me, You’ve Got Juice On Your Hand”.
Comment by lu — October 15, 2005 @ 9:36 am
Lick? unfavorite word? Hmmm… that could be a fun one though… but have it be a favorite.
It does have to do with where your mind is though, huh? LOL
I could do without the stink, but you would make if funny, I’m sure.
Have a great weekend!
Comment by Karen — October 15, 2005 @ 11:21 am
Will, you’re right. Napoleon actually discusses that in his blog entry in the upcoming book The Lost Blogs.
Sorry.
As for 71 being the funniest number, it is. Even numbers just aren’t funny, Will - but if you can give me reasons for 52 being funnier than 71, I’m willing to listen.
Comment by Pauly D — October 15, 2005 @ 11:26 am
I would love to read almost all of these, but especially “A,B,C, Easy as 1,2,8,” “71 - The Funniest Number in the World,” and “Famous Last Lines…of Coke.” Because I want to know what Coke said on its deathbed.
Comment by annabel lee — October 15, 2005 @ 7:18 pm
That’s so weird because I’ve always argued that 17 is the funniest number? Are you my bizarro twin?
Comment by Dashiell — October 15, 2005 @ 8:26 pm
Gimme gimme “Us Could Be Them:” Grammatically Incorrect
Maybe we should all just pick random titles out of your list and use them in our own blogs. Hmm…
Comment by gillian — October 15, 2005 @ 8:30 pm
Paul, no need to apologize.
As for the humor in 52, much of it lies in how the number is spelled out. “Fifty-two.” The two f’s so near each other, the two t’s so close together, the silent w, the fact that emphasis on the syllable “ty” makes it sound absolutely ridiculous—it all spells hilarity.
Comment by Will — October 15, 2005 @ 8:54 pm
So I’ll assume these are just up for grabs then? I could conceivably see a future use for “Sometimes You Just Gotta Say, ‘Where’s the Truck?’”
Comment by Fun Joel — October 15, 2005 @ 10:50 pm
According to Monty Python & The Holy Grail, it’s “1, 2, 5” — not 8.
Comment by Keith — October 15, 2005 @ 11:13 pm
Add “Anal Leakage” to your list. No one wants to know about that.
Comment by Amy — October 16, 2005 @ 8:36 am
And just how many pennies does one have to swallow for $50,000?
Comment by groovebunny — October 17, 2005 @ 7:51 am