The ‘I’m Shutting the Blog Down’ Post (From the Future)
October 2nd, 2005
I am shutting the blog down.
It has been a long long time that this blog has been up. It has seen millions upon millions of visitors and a google of comments and it has survived through that whole Brainblog thing (who wants people to see their thoughts on their blog as they happen?) and the Blog Blackout of ‘08 when all digital free speech was curtailed for 6 1/2 months. It has been revised, updated, and now sits running on WordPress 8.9 — the most feature-rich free blog software ever.
But twenty-one years is a long time to have a blog.
I have written about everything from being afraid of portable nuclear generator powered cars, my thoughts on the one world government and why it gives me hives and how aliens have NO table manners when sharing a meal with their human brethren to my prognosis on telekenesis, solicitors who now contact your iGod in-car music library of every song every written — and cause accidents. I have complained about meals in the form of a pill (sure you feel full, but the taste still hasn’t been fully reproduced — I mean, c’mon, when can I get a pill that tastes like Chicken Parmesan?) and intergalactic long-distance radio messages.
I have had imaginary conversations with President Beatty and Prime Minister Ali G., complained about the lack of hover in my hovercar, ranted about biologically-engineered king-sized cheerios (and why eating one will fill you up for days). Even Words For Your Enjoyment has fully become for your enjoyment — allowing readers to hook up to the WFYE electrical stimulator, giving you “a true buzz” while you read.
But twenty-one years can suck all the ideas out of your head.
That is why, after all the great years and all the great friendships and all the great moments that have been indelibly burned into the memory chip in my left wrist, I think it is time to shut the blog down.
Sure, you will still be able to re-read your all time favorite posts and take them with you wherever you go (Why I Chose To Genetically Engineer A Blonde, Blue-Eyed, Male Baby with Strong Calf Muscles comes to mind). Sure, you will still be able to contact me psychically at any time you wish (except for after 10pm PST weekdays). Sure, you will still be able to rant and rave along with the holographic Pauly D that you guys downloaded in ‘11.
It’s just that the blog won’t be here.
I want to thank everyone, including Exzoob 12 — a planet in the Alpha Centauri system that has denoted their population as the “biggest WFME fans in the Galaxy” for making this ride…the ride of my life.
Wheeeeeee!
but…but… what does this mean for us Earth readers?
Comment by Daniel Nicolas — October 2, 2005 @ 10:42 am
comment (from the future)
i have it on good authority, namely my own ray-ban wrap around web browser and my own medically augmented electronic eyes that he just starts right up the next day, as if nothing had happened.
Comment by jmorrison — October 2, 2005 @ 12:09 pm
That’s got to be one of the best posts I’ve read here, made me chuckle on a sunday evening, and we all know how hard that is, making anyone chuckle on a sunday evening :).
Comment by khaled — October 2, 2005 @ 12:11 pm
response comment to jmorrison (from the future)
why you have to keep bringing up the fake blog-quitting scenario of ‘15 is the real question here.
Comment by Pauly D — October 2, 2005 @ 12:17 pm
another comment (from the future).
P’shaw. Everyone knows that Textpattern 23.9 is the most feature-rich free blog software ever.
I just regret that the CMS Wars ever had to happen. But at least we got rid of Blogger.
Comment by Pierce — October 2, 2005 @ 12:40 pm
While you’re at it, can you Genetically Engineer me a sexually dynamic, busty brunette with a great sense of humor, who can cook?
Thanks…
Comment by AJ — October 2, 2005 @ 12:50 pm
Wishing you well and looking forward to your books.
Thanx.
Comment by nic — October 2, 2005 @ 12:52 pm
So long, and thanks for all the fish. And the buzz.
Comment by annabel lee — October 2, 2005 @ 1:43 pm
Does that mean I have to take WFME off my future blogroll?
Comment by Jeff — October 2, 2005 @ 1:59 pm
can you imagine the day you “shut down”. it will be a sad, sad day. i will shed a tear now, in advance. i am pro-active like that.
p.s. tell AJ he just described me.
Comment by ms. sizzle — October 2, 2005 @ 2:44 pm
Somehow I always knew it would end like this.
Comment by Will — October 2, 2005 @ 2:50 pm
I will not lie or sugarcoat my feelings. I am very diappointed in as selfish a manner as I can convey. Of all the billions and billions (thank you Mr. Sagan) bloggers I have stacked on my Blog Roll, yours is the only one I frequent every day, because you are the only one I can count on to update frequently. Making me laugh and making me say ‘hmmm, that’s interesting’ is purely a secondary enjoyment. You will be missed amongst the bogarrhea
Comment by The Moviequill — October 2, 2005 @ 4:47 pm
wow — you have a 21 year plan, pauly! when people ask me about my FIVE year plan (as in, “What are you going to be doing in five years?), i’m at a loss for words. i am impressed!
Comment by C(h)ristine — October 2, 2005 @ 4:48 pm
This is in direct violation of Prime Minister Ali G’s mandate for all geezers wiv wicked blogs to reprazent da sweet bitchinest peeps of Earth, innit….
Comment by Adri — October 2, 2005 @ 5:46 pm
On behalf of the planet Darklar 12, I wish you nothing but meepzoids in your auspicious future.
Comment by Esther Kustanowitz — October 2, 2005 @ 6:28 pm
Jeff - Yes, you should take me off your “future blogroll” unless you want a broken link fest.
As for Darklar 12, Esther, well — I didn’t think my influence reached all the way to the other end of the galaxy…but I’m glad to know that it someday will…
Comment by Pauly D — October 2, 2005 @ 7:23 pm
How else am I supposed to occupy my days now that Star Trek: The Next to the Power of 18th Generation has gone off the air and you’re not blogging anymore?
Comment by Keith — October 3, 2005 @ 12:25 am
“While you’re at it, can you Genetically Engineer me a sexually dynamic, busty brunette with a great sense of humor, who can cook?”
Brunette? Well, I guess three out of four aint bad, but what have you got against blondes, AJ?
Pauly, I hope you’ll be blogging for a looooooong time. I like it here.
Comment by Flower Girl — October 3, 2005 @ 5:45 am
i sooo want the holographic pauly d!!!
Comment by danielle — October 3, 2005 @ 8:36 am
EXCELLENT POST IDEA!!
Comment by kristine — October 3, 2005 @ 12:50 pm
I want a holographic Pauly too! Where and when can I buy one???
As for Ali G becoming the big Prime Minister in the future, boyakasha!
Lastly, can you give a girl a clue on exactly when you’ll be writing your entry on biologically-engineered king-sized cheerios? Cause I’m all about the Cheerios.
Comment by groovebunny — October 3, 2005 @ 8:40 pm