If I Were In Skokie, Illinois

“Hi. I’m in Skokie.”

If I was in Skokie, Illinois, I would walk around the city streets all day long saying this wonderful little phrase to people. Of course, most of the people I’d say “Hi, I’m in Skokie” to would probably shoot back in their trademark awesome Skokie accent something to the effect of, “Yeah, I’m in Skokie too.” Of course, when it got old telling people IN Skokie that I was also IN Skokie, I would pick up the cell phone and call my friends outside of Skokie and let them know just exactly where I was.

I might also ask them if they knew that on Halloween, in Skokie, trick or treating hours are only from 3 to 7 pm.

The ‘Ruh-Roh’ Disease

It is a disease that affects over five-hundred thousand American citizens each year.

It is an ailment that appears without warning and it is also a condition that can disappear without any medication or treatment overnight. It is something that primarily affects men between the ages of 17 and 36 and women between the ages of 21 and 28. It is often met with confusion and annoyance whenever the symptoms of the disease occur, especially in public places or around those who are free of the disease.

It’s when people say Ruh-Roh in a Scooby-Doo voice… As if, someone told them, at some point, that this is the funniest thing on the face of the Earth.

Death Bed Lines I Hope To Have

Who knows where I’ll be when I take that last final breath.

But when I do, whenever it may be and no matter my current state of mind, I would like to officially announce to the higher power at this moment, that this is my list of sayings I would like him to consider allowing me to have as my last words. I know that by requesting such a thing I may still not be granted it, but like they always say about requesting your last words — if you don’t ask, no one knows you’re asking, and then since you didn’t ask…well, no one knows that the askage was going on.

Words For Your Enjoyment: 80’s Music Videos

Greetings once again, dear Friday-lovers.

With the dawn of a new Friday comes the dawn of a new “Words For Your Enjoyment” and although a post can’t technically have a dawn since it’s not measured in time but rather in text characters, I’m sure someone will still comment on this fact in the comment section with an elaborate equation or explanation on why a post can have a dawn — and I welcome it.

But more importantly than the dawn of a new day is today’s WFYE suggestion from “new face in the crowd” Phil B. who writes, “Can you talk about what 80’s music video changed your life and why?”

George Clooney Is Owed Money

It appears as if someone owes George Clooney some money.

Let’s face it — George Clooney doesn’t act because he likes to gain weight and get his ass kicked (which eventually causes years of chronic pain and suffering) nor does he enjoy getting into a latex bat suit and having the horrific memory follow him throughout his career. Clooney is in it for the money, and that’s why WFME found it so strange to find out there’s money out there that he just hasn’t scooped up.