I Am Liking This Flavor-Scented Water
September 18th, 2005
The others announced their superior “with a hint of raspberry flavor” products to lackluster results.
So when I looked at you sitting in the refrigerated section of the local drugstore, I had my doubts. There had been previously introduced waters with hints of flavors in the past and each and every one came up short.
Sure, after a swig and a swallow it was as if someone had shoved a lemon rind in your nose — but it wasn’t a hint of flavor. It was a flavor fragment.
But today, as I sit here with you Dasani with Raspberry, already having taken three full swigs and swallows — I have to come clean when I say that I am really liking your flavor-scented water.
You are not as overpowering as the Splendacized Crystal Light packets of sugar beads. You are not as jaw-tingling sourey as the wannabe low cal Hawaiian Punch. You give me more than a hint of flavor and less than a full-fledged taste-bud tantrum while leaving me with a full-on flavor that both surprises and sustains.
I am liking this flavor-scented water.
I have to say, though, I think that flavor scented is the wrong way to talk about this product. When I stick my nose in the bottle I dont smell anything but crisp, clear water from the Coca Cola Company. I don’t smell a tree-branch of berries, bearing down on my soul. If I were to take your label off, Dasani with Raspberry, others who knew nothing about you would simply consider you to be a naked bottle of water.
But take a taste — and the sensation middlepowers (as opposed to over or underpowering) your entire being.
I feel alive. I feel alert. I feel aware. I feel amazed, a-OK, ablaze with excitement. I feel as though a good friend just shoved a huge package of raspberries into my mouth while still allowing me enough room to breathe and injest the tastiest water on the face of the planet all at the same time.
I feel as if I was driving along a small two-laned road on my way to the top of the tallest snow-capped mountaintop on the face of the Earth and on the way there as I came around the corner I noticed a car about to fall off a huge ledge where it had crashed through the shoulder-guard and with only my adrenaline pumping and my bare hands I was able to pull you back from your impending doom (car and all), throw you to the cold hard pavement and breathe life back into your lungs after having just drank a half bottle of Dasani with Raspberry. (Half a bottle, mind you.) And oh my — how I will never forget the words you uttered to me as the life filled your face with color:
“Is that Dasani with a hint of raspberry flavoring?”
“No,” I’d say. “It’s not a hint, at all.”
I feel as if I may never find a bottle of water that gives me the confidence and the courage to stare strangers in the eye and let them smell the lack of a hint or lack of a clue of raspberry flavor as this bottle of water does neither as a means to an end. I feel as if this is the most honest bottle of raspberry infused flavored water to ever strike me down like the Lord our God, King of the Universe.
Yeah.
I am liking this flavor-scented water.
Good Lord, Paul. Do you need a moment to yourself here?
Comment by Brooke — September 18, 2005 @ 11:06 am
Already HAD the moment, Brooke.
But thanks.
Comment by Pauly D — September 18, 2005 @ 11:12 am
Flavour scented water with a hint of LSD?
K.
Comment by Kris — September 18, 2005 @ 11:12 am
I’d have to say…this is probably one of the most enthusiastic reviews for a beverage I’ve read. See if you can sell it to the Coca Cola Company, they might be able to use part of it, considering you’ve ignited in me a strange desire for a Dasani with Raspberry.
Comment by Elyse — September 18, 2005 @ 1:37 pm
There’s a whole debate to be had here about when this becomes ‘juice.’ If the definition of juice already includes products that contain anywhere from 10% to 100% real fruit juice, why shouldn’t that definition be expanded to include ‘flavored water’ products? Or products that have the inference of being flavored? Maybe just a strawberry on the bottle and the assumption that our foolish human minds will do the rest?
Comment by Jason — September 18, 2005 @ 2:20 pm
That’s a great point, Jason. And I think I have your answer for you.
When the incredients include a fruit nectar of any kind (raspberry juice, concentrate, et al) then I think you can assume it’s juice. When there is no mention of it, but instead things like Acesulfame Potassium and Magnesium Sulfate and Citric Acid and Splenda, well, you’ve got flavored water or water with a hint of flavor on your hands, buddy!
Comment by Pauly D — September 18, 2005 @ 2:22 pm
I am totally liking it, too. In fact, it wasn’t until I read this post that I realized how awesome it really is. But you’re right. It is the best. I’ve searched far and wide for the “perfect” raspberry-flavored water, and by golly, I believe Dasani has gotten it about as right as it’s gonna get (as far as flavored-water goes).
Aquafina doesn’t hold a candle to you, Dasani… nope, not one measly tea-light…
Comment by Em — September 18, 2005 @ 2:59 pm
So, does it have sugar in it? That would be the only drawback for me. I buy lemon concentrate at Costco and schlep it home and add 3 shpritzes to my water bottle every day. So, I guzzle this while cataloging books. OHMYGAWD, how boring is that?!? Next I’ll be doing an organ recital (old folks do that. you know like, “I just passed a kidney stone.” “My arches are falling again.”). I’m never getting old, I’m never getting old . . . .
I’l try the Dansani.
Comment by anon — September 18, 2005 @ 4:25 pm
But….can you drink it out of a flask?
Comment by nancy — September 18, 2005 @ 5:22 pm
And where, pray tell, does Dasani’s sparkling clean water come from — the Atlanta municipal water system?
Comment by Neil — September 18, 2005 @ 6:08 pm
Mmm. Middlepowers.
It really gets me hot when you make up words.
Comment by Helena — September 19, 2005 @ 12:45 am
i was a little leary of this beverage when i saw it in the store, because i too have had blah experiences with flavored water; crystal light powdery tasting spit, oh-my-god too much sugar kool-aid, propel weird not-tasting-like-the-actual-fruit energy drink…so because of your review here, the next time i see this beverage in the store, i will try it…just for you pauly.
Comment by jenny — September 19, 2005 @ 9:58 am
Oh Helena - scubblebunnigans!
And Jenny - you will NOT be disappointed. This water will give you a new attitude and change your life forever!
Comment by Pauly D — September 19, 2005 @ 10:00 am
I like it too, Paul !
Comment by Barney — September 19, 2005 @ 1:15 pm
Huh. Somehow I pictured you standing in front of one of those ginormous wind machines. Hair a flutter…lips a-gloss, eyes wistful and floating up and beyond…somewhere. Then, a big bottle of Dasani floods the screen. Great ad. Sort of…orgasmic in a way.
Comment by Michelle — September 19, 2005 @ 7:17 pm
“Taste-bud tantrum”? Wow! You use your mouth so pretty!
Comment by Cutiepie2 — September 19, 2005 @ 10:38 pm
I have been trolliing the web today looking for info on flavored water. My fiance bought me a bottle of HINT cucumber water as a joke trying to make the house feel more like a spa. Anyway I actually like the stuff. I been looking to see what info there is on this type of stuff. Dasani kind of freaks me out being it is made by coke. Not that coke is bad. I love coke, I just think they have no business trying to make something healthy. Anyway I like your writing.
Comment by barry — August 23, 2006 @ 11:01 am
I really like the Raspberry and Lemon Dasani waters. The Strawberry one’s not bad, but cam be a little overly sweet. The Grape is okay cold, but it starts to taste like watered down Dimetapp (grape “runny nose” syrup- kids decongestant liquid medicine) after a while. I’m so lucky the vendin machine in my residence hall stocks them and they’re only a buck.
Comment by Trish — November 21, 2006 @ 1:32 pm