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August 23rd, 2005
Misnomensentia effects .00001% of Americans.
As defined by a Dictionary that is unavailable to me at the moment (and so why reference the name of said Dictionary if you can’t go out and confirm this fact for yourself) — Misnomensentia is an individual’s ability to consistently mis-remember and mis-name well-known pop-culture artifacts on such a regular basis that it frustrates all those around them.
There are certain things in this world that people should not forget. These include classic books of literature, huge blockbuster movies, real-true Hollywood stars, names of influential politicians, foods that begin with the letter “B” and much much more. You know these things and I know these things, but those with misnomensentia only think they do.
Posted under Film, Names, Pop Culture. | 24 Comments »
August 22nd, 2005
Arrggggggghhh!
It’s how I’d always start my session with you as a pirate psychologist.
As a pirate psychologist, I would be used to the initial uncomfortability factor that always seemed to “just be there” in the room when you entered for counseling. There would be the fact that you couldn’t look me right in both eyes (due to my eye patch) and the annoying tapping of my wooden leg on the wooden floor. There would be the glimmer of the gold in my teeth and the annoying parrot on my shoulder.
But let me tell you this — I would be soooooo good.
Posted under Pirates, What If. | 28 Comments »
August 21st, 2005
You cannot comment on this entry about me.
There was a time when you were able to comment on this entry. Then suddenly, and without warning, you were no longer able to comment on this entry. The split second between being able and being unable happened so quickly that it would have made your head spin had you had the opportunity to watch the whole exciting moment take place.
There will be no commenting on this post.
Have you ever been invited to a wedding, and you are inadvertently forced to buy a gift? Have you ever gone to a birthday dinner with a friend, and you are casually urged to chip in for the guest of honor? Have you ever been to someone’s brand new house and felt hoodwinked into getting them a gift or writing them a sweet message on the inside of a card attached to a housewarming plant?
Posted under Blogging. | No Comments »
August 20th, 2005
If I worked in Hell, the whole “yeah, work’s Hell” thing just wouldn’t work anymore.
I’d have to find an alternative way of telling you work was Hell, but if I did actually work in Hell (don’t ask me what kind of job although I suspect it would have something to do with making sure everyone was really unhappy and in extreme pain) I’ll bet you people who hated their jobs would walk around saying things like, “Yeah, work is heavenly” or “Although work sucks, it is so NOT Hell…”
And that would mean, it was hell but it wasn’t Hell.
Posted under Hell, What If, Work. | 24 Comments »
August 19th, 2005
A rock in the hand is worth two in the bush, which as long as it isn’t rolling down a hill and into a glass house, probably means that today brings us yet another edition of your favorite-ist, guilty-ist pleasure-ist kind-ist of post-ist… “Words For Your Enjoyment”.
Today, WFME reader Meg asks, “Would you rather have the respect of the writing community (both online and in your professional life) or a monstrous reader base that borders on fanatical? You must show your mental work in reaching your answer.”
Oh, Meg. Meg, Meg, Meg, Meg, Meg. (God, I sort of wish I could do a whole post on how the more I say Meg’s name, the more it sounds like an iron rod that construction workers use in putting together buldings or a glue-compound used in carpet installation. But instead, I will do what I’m here to do.)
Posted under Satire, Smurfs, WFYE. | 23 Comments »
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