Living With Misnomensentia
August 23rd, 2005
Misnomensentia effects .00001% of Americans.
As defined by a Dictionary that is unavailable to me at the moment (and so why reference the name of said Dictionary if you can’t go out and confirm this fact for yourself) — Misnomensentia is an individual’s ability to consistently mis-remember and mis-name well-known pop-culture artifacts on such a regular basis that it frustrates all those around them.
There are certain things in this world that people should not forget. These include classic books of literature, huge blockbuster movies, real-true Hollywood stars, names of influential politicians, foods that begin with the letter “B” and much much more. You know these things and I know these things, but those with misnomensentia only think they do.
Take, for example, this wonderful conversation I had just the other day:
Me: “So what did you do this weekend?”
Them: “Oh, everyone has been talking so much about those Jerry Potter movies so we decided we should rent all three and watch them. They were OK.”
Me: “Jerry Potter?”
Them: “Yeah — we turned them off after a little while and just watched C.S.I. Tampa instead.”
Me: “That’s wonderful. But it’s C.S.I. Miami.”
Them: “At least there’s still quality dramas on TV. Our TiVo recorded that ‘Who Wants to Marry Your Big Brother’ show and we couldn’t even watch 30 seconds of it. Just plain trash.”
And so on and so on.
If you or someone you know has been diagnosed with misnomensentia, George Lucas becomes Jack Lucas… Paris Hilton becomes Paris Hetton. ‘Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers’ becomes ‘Lord of the Rings: Revenge of the Towers.’ Jack Black becomes Jeff Jack. XBOX becomes PS-BOX. And so on and so on. Pop culture references, names, people, movies and even clever advertising sayings (’Just Do It’ is “Yeah, Do It!’) take a beating so badly that no one will ever recognize them again.
Even worse, those afflicted with misnomensentia have no idea they’ve misspoken the name, title or saying and will never admit that they are wrong:
Me: “It’s not Jerry Potter — it’s HARRY Potter.”
Them: “Oh, I’m sure it Jerry Potter, we just watched it last night!”
Me: “It’s HARRY Potter. Trust me.”
Them: “What makes you so sure. When was the last time you watched that movie?”
Those afflicted with the disease are also extremely stubborn. (Must be a side-effect of the disease’s stronghold on other quadrants of the brain.)
Just what the cause of misnomensentia is, no one can confidently say just yet — but if effects old and young, happy and sad, hip and not-so-hip. It is a problem that I wish would go away, if only so that I would have to stop correcting those around me, with a lack of short term pop culture memory (S.T.P.C.M.).
Sadly, as there is no current solution to the problem, those of us with family or friends who have the inability to remember simple, over-saturated and over-publicized names and titles, are simply left in the dark — facing this horrific situation without support group or solution.
As Al Pacino once said in Sense of a Woman: Hoo-yah!
Are these the same people that ask you if you need a passport to travel from DC to New Orleans?
Comment by kris — August 23, 2005 @ 8:53 am
That was too funny. I’m going to tell everyone I know that they just have to read this great blog, “Words we Enjoy” by Paul Didison!
Comment by Neil — August 23, 2005 @ 8:59 am
Yes yes Paul Dennisson, he’s such a great singer..
Comment by Idil — August 23, 2005 @ 9:36 am
My friend’s mother is notorious for this misnomenclature you’re talking about…
“Hey girls, how was the Ten Inch Spikes concert?” (Nine Inch Nails)
“Oh yeah, those girls…just couldn’t WAIT to get the new Jack Daniel’s Band CD!” (Dave Matthews Band)
I hate people who have misnomenclature! It’s the WORST!
Comment by Em — August 23, 2005 @ 9:56 am
Misnomensentia, Em.
Sentia not Clature.
Comment by Pauly D — August 23, 2005 @ 10:02 am
You’re so freakin funny Saul!
By the way, could I borrow your copy of Da Vin-Cheese Code?
Comment by meme — August 23, 2005 @ 10:38 am
The comments on this are funny, too.
Comment by Amy — August 23, 2005 @ 11:09 am
Very, very funny! I love this and yes, I do know people who have it. It’s hilarious and annoying at the same time!
Comment by Christa — August 23, 2005 @ 11:18 am
I fear my grandmother may be afflicted! Even after his rise and fall, she still enjoys the music of Garsh Brooks and has a niece who drives a Tie-ota truck. Additionally, she prefers to eat with a spoom rather than a fork. She also suffers from the -oi to -ur phonetic shift e.g. flushing the turlet, frying in url, eating an urange, and burling water. Granted, English isn’t her native language (Cajun French is), but she’s spoken English for nearly 40 years now so she definitely fits the stubborness profile… It’s never too late for shock therapy and it might be fun doing my best Anne Bancroft, waving spoons around while playing Garth Brooks discs and shouting “Who’s singing? He has a name!”
Comment by Darrel — August 23, 2005 @ 11:21 am
Raul…do you pronounce that Ra-ooool, or R-OW-l like in Phantom of the opera? I know someone that fits the bill the way you describe it to a “T”. Thanks for the laugh.
K.
Comment by Kris — August 23, 2005 @ 11:25 am
That’s too funny. I get into little arguments like that with my mom all the time. She thinks that some actress in a movie was from this other movie. I’m like “you’re questioning me….the movie queen?”
But then again, I thought I was reading Pauly Shore’s blog…damn it.
Comment by Becky — August 23, 2005 @ 11:26 am
Ahhh but those with misnomensentia can be so endearing. Like my sweet aunt who once asked me to look at her blooming Pussy-chia (Fushcia) and also asked me to go shopping at Tyrisaurus (ToysR’Us).
Comment by groovebunny — August 23, 2005 @ 11:30 am
holy crap! there’s a lady on our board who is afflicted with this disease! she mispronounces EVERYTHING maybe now that I know the name of it, we can get her some help. Thank you, Pauly!!!
Comment by Dawn (webmiztris) — August 23, 2005 @ 11:56 am
Oh Davy Paulson, you are quite the character.
Comment by Glen C. — August 23, 2005 @ 12:04 pm
My ex-boyfriend was also not a native of this country, and although he spoke excellent english (he’d been here for over 20 years), there were times that either because of his accent or the fact he didn’t know the word for something, misnomensentia would strike. Like one time when I was on the elliptical machine at the gym and he later asked me how my workout on the eagle clip machine was.
Luckily, he always knew the words for “Champagne” and “Jewelry,” so it all worked out.
Comment by Amber — August 23, 2005 @ 12:39 pm
My dad is a sufferer of this terrible affliction. He would always refer to one of the greatest sitcoms of all time (Seinfeld) as Steinfeld. But I guess I should expect that from someone who can’t even remember the name of his own kids.
Comment by Dave — August 23, 2005 @ 1:50 pm
Um, Pauly? I’m still pretty sure this affliction is called misnomenclature… not misnomensentia…or whatever crazy name you think it is! You’re crazy!
Comment by Em — August 23, 2005 @ 2:09 pm
I have no idea what you are talking about!
I have read all the Jerry Potter books, and watched the movies.
I also saw The Lord of the Rink trilogy too.
What’s all the commotion?
Comment by purpletwinkie — August 23, 2005 @ 3:34 pm
There’s others like you out there. They choose the titles for a lot of the porn movies, I think.
Not that I watch them. Or even know about them. Because I don’t.
Comment by justin — August 23, 2005 @ 4:24 pm
My mother loves the music of Ronnie Mislap. Ow!
Comment by nic — August 23, 2005 @ 4:53 pm
BRILLIANT!! BRAVO!!
Comment by Matt — August 23, 2005 @ 4:54 pm
People always claim they’re going to eat lunch at Chi-pol-te. I HATE that. But then, I once saw some of those pretty little flowers that are known as Black Eyed Susans and called them One Eyed Nancies.
Comment by kingbenny — August 24, 2005 @ 7:47 am
My mother is also in the final stages of this disease, and has been FORBIDDEN to discuss movies at all, period. I don’t want her last words to be, “That Tim Hank and Meg Riley were a laugh riot in that movie, You Have Email!” as I’m strangling her.
Comment by Eve — August 24, 2005 @ 11:01 am