Corey Haim Is Not On Atkins

Sometimes, when I’m feeling really rebellious, I may actually go to one of those soup and salad bar places.

You know the kind. The kind where for the low low price of $7.95 you can load up a plate with salad and cover it up with so much stuff that it no longer resembles a salad when you’re done. The kind where you can pile on some muffins and pizza and clam chowder too. The kind where you can spot 80’s teen acting powerhouse Corey Haim.

Star of such heart-warming films as Lucas, License to Drive, and The Lost Boys, the most stunning thing I realized yesterday about Mr. Haim is that in addition to not being in movies much anymore and not really being friends with Corey Feldman anymore, he’s also…not really on Atkins anymore either.

It was at the Soup Plantation here in Brentwood yesterday where I saw him — he paid his $7.95 right before me and started his quest down one of two pathways of the soup and salad experience… He grabbed his tray, placed it on the metallic ledge, and pushed it past a variety of healthy items that were (surprisingly) not to his liking.

He passed the salad. No go. Passed the vegetables. No go. Piled some raisins, pasta salad, and croutons on his plate. I watched him as he ate off his plate while he slid his tray closer and closer to the end of the ride. I tried to keep up. I had to. This was Corey Haim.

About a minute later, I stood next to Corey at the “good part” of the Soup Plantation experience. The area with the warm pizza slices and the soup and the chocolate chip muffins and the corn bread. It was there that the guy started loading up on all the carbs you could ever imagine, and I kept thinking about Corey’s role in the movie Lucas where he played a very skinny, very self-conscious wannabe who was constantly beat up by the school bullies.

Me: “Lucas would have never eaten that many carbs.”

I thought I was being funny. Corey, apparently didn’t.

Corey: “Lucas?”

Me: “Heh, yeah.”

Corey Haim motioned to the pizza guy behind the counter that he wanted two pieces coming out nice and hot from the oven. He waited, tapping his fork, not looking back at me. Thing is, you don’t get a moment like this too often. I wasn’t gonna let it go. (And I’m strange like that.)

Me: “Lucas was probably on Atkins. I mean that kid was skinny! Real cut. You know?”

Corey: “Lucas was poor. He wasn’t on Atkins. They didn’t even have Atkins back then.”

Me: “Yeah, well they do now.”

Corey looked at me. Didn’t say anything.

Me: “It’s supposed to be a real healthy way of eating.”

Corey: “Gee… Thanks for the tip.”

Corey’s pizza slices arrived just about then, and he dragged them onto his plate — moving across the way to the frozen yogurt machine where he started to make a vanilla sundae. Piling on the calories.

He turned back to me as he finished, motioning to the sundae he had just created like he was challenging me to some kind of duel. But, then he just walked off and joined his two friends in a booth without giving me the time of day ever again.

It was obvious to me. Corey Haim was so not on Atkins.

And he really couldn’t care less.

In other, unrelated Atkins news — I’d like to congratulate WFME pal meme who was inducted into the 9rules network today. The site’s great if you haven’t had a chance to check it out.

42 comments on “Corey Haim Is Not On Atkins

  1. Samsynn - August 10, 2005 at 8:35 am -

    I’m pretty impressed that you could even recognize Corey at this point. And come to think of it, he should probably have been pretty thankful that you did too!

  2. Pauly D - August 10, 2005 at 8:38 am -

    He does look a tad “puffy”.

  3. meme - August 10, 2005 at 8:46 am -

    Next time throw a few extra rolls on his tray cause I wanna see him on the Celebrity Fit Club.

  4. Hilary - August 10, 2005 at 8:50 am -

    I love their chocolate muffins. They are soooo good.

  5. nic - August 10, 2005 at 8:55 am -

    Atkins Nutritional, Inc. filed for bankruptcy last week.
    “It’s too hard. If it was easy, we’d all be thin.” – Market researcher Harry Balzer, on the decline of the low-carb-diet craze.

  6. jenny - August 10, 2005 at 9:03 am -

    You know maybe he is finally trying to actually eat after he was all drugged up for so many years.
    I saw a E! True Hollywood Story special about him and apparently he was living in a 1 bedroom apt in Venice trying to sell his prescription drug induced paintings on the beach while speaking totally incoherently. It was really sad.

  7. Sarah - August 10, 2005 at 9:14 am -

    There’s a song by the Thrills called “Whatever Happened to Corey Haim?” and that’s the only reason I even recognize his name.

  8. Will - August 10, 2005 at 10:19 am -

    Muffins and sundaes in a soup and salad bar place?! Man, I sure am on the wrong coast. I’ve never seen anything like that in New York. Nor have I ever seen Corey Haim. What ELSE am I missing out on?!

  9. Natalie - August 10, 2005 at 11:06 am -

    Since we were fairly convinced in my house that he was drowning in a gutter somewhere in West Hollywood, its good to hear he’s up and eating. The boy needs sustenance, what else is going to absorb all those prescription drugs?

  10. justin - August 10, 2005 at 11:14 am -

    I’m surprised Corey can afford Souplantation. He must have been rolling pennies found on the street for weeks.

  11. kristine - August 10, 2005 at 11:57 am -

    awww, poor Corey.

    paul, my friends don’t believe that these are real dialogues you have with semi-stars. please comment.

  12. ms. sizzle - August 10, 2005 at 12:23 pm -

    did you seriously have that exchange with him? you’ve got balls (and i am not just stating the obvious)! he always seemed like a whiny punkassbitch to me. lost boys was on tv last night and his voice was like nails on a chalkboard to me.

    now i want a chocolate chip muffin. thanks.

  13. suze - August 10, 2005 at 1:11 pm -

    according to the canadian papers, the low carb craze is dead since the Atkins company filed for bankruptcy. a flurry of gleeful newspaper articles abounded the last few days up here. i guess the press in canada loves them some carbs….

  14. Becky - August 10, 2005 at 1:19 pm -

    I’m laughing that he actually said “gee,” or did you make that up? Atkins is officially going downhill, probably from all of the toilets stopping up.

  15. lisa - August 10, 2005 at 2:02 pm -

    If this conversation actually happened, I kinda wish you had just left Corey alone. If I were a former teen star encountering you in a salad place, and you made a clever comment about my eating habits just so you could go home and write about it in your blog, I would kind of want to poke you in the eye.

    (Maybe I’m over-sensitive because he was my “favorite Corey” when I was younger?)

  16. Alex Blagg - August 10, 2005 at 2:05 pm -

    maybe he’s on crack-kins.

    i can’t believe i just typed that.

    or that i’m about to click ‘submit comment’.

  17. Pauly D - August 10, 2005 at 2:10 pm -

    Ok. I have to come clean. I did make the moment when Corey had his sundae a little more dramatic than it was in real life.

    But the conversation is true. It’s funny, because when I look at it, it’s so boring from Corey’s perspective. (Lucas. Lucas was poor. Thanks for the tip.) But yeah, Corey said “Gee.”

    What can I say. I like to pose random questions to people I don’t know. Poke me in the eye. Go ahead, I dare ya!

  18. kristine - August 10, 2005 at 2:35 pm -

    please. these celebs could all use a little more PAULY D.

    get it? like effing Sunny D! HA!

  19. Daniel - August 10, 2005 at 2:46 pm -

    Paul Davidson: Harrassing Hollywood One Semi-Star At A Time.

    I love these stories, please keep them coming. 🙂

  20. Helena - August 10, 2005 at 5:26 pm -

    This is definitely my most-love kind of entry here at WFME. I agree that the Pauly Making Celebs Uncomfortable category would be my favorite, fo sho.

    I would like to see you launch a full-fledged operation: Terrorize Tinseltown. Celebs on all tiers should quake with fear.

  21. bloghungry - August 10, 2005 at 7:28 pm -

    That’s my favorite blog story ever. Where to begin..

    Growing up my dad refered to buffets affectionatly as “food troughs”. It was funny at first but after a while “Let’s go down to the food trough tonight” made me feel sad and a little gross. I’ve never fully recovered.

    I am facinated by Corey Haim. Tapping his fork immpatiently for warm pizza at Soup Plantation is a deep moment for him. My bad movie night group and I recently watched him in his directorial debut film “Busted”.. It’s softcore porn meets The Naked Gun.. You should check it out.

  22. groovebunny - August 10, 2005 at 9:44 pm -

    lol I remember I cried watching Lucas for the very first time. Then I cried watching it the second time. And the third. And most likely since Corey has been off the stardar for a while, I bet that little bit of recognition you gave him made him all happy and foofoo inside. 🙂

  23. ryan - August 10, 2005 at 11:08 pm -

    Captivating and hilarious post. Not sure I would’ve hassled him the same way, but serious kudos to you for doing so. You were at soupgoddamplantation for chrisssake…an all-you-can-binge version of fast food…culturally adjacent to college cafeterias.

    Piven alert: according to IMDB, Lucas was the film debut of Jeremy Piven, one of my fave character actors.

  24. Lauren - August 11, 2005 at 3:06 am -

    Does Wendy’s still have a good salad bar? With all that day-glo jello? They don’t have Wendy’s in England. I miss Wendy’s.

  25. The Moviequill - August 11, 2005 at 5:40 am -

    I just saw someone on ebay selling Corey’s salad fork…you didn’t Paul? (smirk)

  26. purpletwinkie - August 12, 2005 at 12:51 am -

    Corey who?

  27. kosi - August 12, 2005 at 9:50 pm -

    ouch, you guys … i can’t believe you like said that to him. he was my “favorite corey” and i still have left over puppy love for him. were you saying all those things about atkins to help him or to hurt him?

  28. :: jozjozjoz :: - August 13, 2005 at 7:16 pm -

    I have no comment about you stalking Corey Haim or his choice of food. I just wanted to say that I used to go to that Souplantation in Brentwood every week because I had a stack of free meal certificates and I had to try to use them up before they expired. Ahhh, the days of getting free swag at work.

  29. Karla - August 14, 2005 at 9:56 am -

    I bet if you had offered Corey a job cutting your lawn, he’d have been friendlier. Mighta been the best gig he got offered in years.

  30. chacha - August 25, 2005 at 4:44 pm -

    I agree about poking you in the eye.

    The guy has worked very hard at kicking a long and difficult drug habit. Think what you want about drug use, but getting clean must be extremely difficult and it deserves a lot of respect. From what I understand, getting clean often comes hand in hand with weight gain.

    So, if you think he’s being unhealthy and lazy by having pizza and a sundae, it’s just the opposite…. he has worked very hard to get healthy in the way that he needed to. If he wants a little junk food now, so be it… at least it’s not crack. He’ll get the food thing under control sooner or later, but for now it’s important that he just get his life in order and get some emotional health.

    No one (especially people with weight problems) likes to have someone make them feel self conscious about their food choices. Just because he’s been in movies doesn’t mean he’s immune to your rude comments. I’d bet any money that his weight problem is just temporary anyway.

    Next time someone embarrasses you I hope they write about it in a blog.

  31. J.D. - October 31, 2005 at 12:40 pm -

    Ok, so Corey’s not on Atkins. What exactly does that mean? Come on, man, details! What was he wearing, what did he look like, what kind of folks was he with, did he appear to be finally sober?

  32. Arwenth - November 25, 2005 at 4:52 am -

    Well i was fall in love with Corey but not Haim if not Feldman and I think that still fall I know that this sund a bit weird but is the true I just hope one day can to meet him,I know that he is married and very happy but for me if one day can to meet him will my dream come true!!!

  33. K.P. - December 6, 2005 at 1:42 pm -

    I must agree with Chacha, live and let live. Corey, if you see this, keep your head up brother. Your fans are still here for you! God bless.

  34. Marsha - January 13, 2006 at 3:20 am -

    OK—so how good do YOU look?—it sounds to me that you’re the one who needs a little help if you’re following him around the place…and alone at that—I was a HUGE Corey Haim fan when I was younger and he DOES deserve respect—Have you ever been in a string of movies and had tons of girls following you everywhere??—It doesn’t sound like it!—At least he was nice enough not to sock you in your jaw…like I would have if you had said those things to me—Get a life…if you can find the time to stop harrassing others!!!

  35. Pauly D - January 13, 2006 at 7:21 am -

    Marsha – You are right on a few levels. First of all, I do need help. HELP ME for god’s sake. Second of all, he DOES deserve respect, and a whole huge plate of mini pigs in a blanket (I hear he likes those). And finally, I have been in a string of movies (seeing them) and while I was there I had tons of girls following me everywhere. Had you read the archives, you’d know that.

    Oh well.

  36. fashunpopo - January 24, 2006 at 7:14 pm -

    Hey Pauly D..funny shit!! what was corey haim wearing at Soupplantation???…. who was he with?? btw i love the broccoli soup down at the Sunnyvale locashun.

  37. corey - August 27, 2006 at 6:31 pm -

    thanks for your support, guys. I was surfing the net and found this blog on me. I don’t care about your atkins diet Paul. I remember you. And yeah, I did say “gee.” I say that sometimes.

    A comedy series starring me and feldman is being talked about. Wish me luck. I might finally get going again.


  38. Dave2 - August 27, 2006 at 10:59 pm -

    That show would so kick ass.

  39. Sydnee - August 29, 2006 at 6:17 pm -

    hi everybody guess what i hate you all if you were talking about corey haim in a bad way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am going to be 11 october 5th i hope corey reads this because paul you are a jackass !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and corey i love you i have seen “The Lost Boys” “Lucas” and “Dickie Roberts Former Child Star” screw you paul stop writing mean stories bye jackass i hope corey laughs at this because a 10 year old is sticking up for him and paul i think you hurt his feelings bye love Sydnee AnnMarie Crissman

  40. jacquie - August 29, 2006 at 6:57 pm -

    Hey Paul, next time you see Corey, ask him why he doesn’t remember hanging out with my cousin Rick Shroeder.

    Hey Corey, if you are coming back to read up the comments, I drew a picture of you and I got an A in 8th grade art class. I just thought you would like to know that.

    Ooooh, I tried to comment too quickly after a previous comment and I got the “slow down cowboy” message.

  41. Sydnee - August 30, 2006 at 10:38 am -

    this is sydnee again i hope corey reads this because when i find mean blogs about him i always stick up for him bye p.s. i wrote last night bye everybody

  42. Salmacis - December 19, 2006 at 12:19 am -

    FYI, the Coreys’ TV Show is definitely happening! Check out Corey’s official website for the details.

    And, gee, Pauly D — you disgust me. Just remember that karma is a bitch. I hope the world is watching when you’re forced to lick it up, baby!

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