Do you watch HBO’s Six Feet Under?
Are you familiar with Brenda’s psychotic brother Billy (Jeremy Sisto)? He’s come in and out of the quirky hour long cable drama as an artist, then a psycho-sister loving artist, then a pretty normal shaved head on my medication artist, then a lost-in-love with Claire artist who stops taking his pills, then a psycho-sister loving artist.
Really, it’s bookended really well. Nice job, Six Feet writers!
This past weekend, though, while walking around with my dog at the Laurel Canyon dog park up on Mullholland Drive — Billy was out and about with a character we have yet to be introduced to on Six Feet Under (which I suspect has something to do with the fact that real life AND television are not one in the same)…his puny little rat dog.
Don’t get me wrong, but there was Jeremy Sisto and two of his entourage sitting around with their shirts off as Billy ran around with his little pooch — it was a tad underwhelming if not due to the fact that you’d expect someone who plays a psychotic artist on TV to at least have a Pug or a Pitbull or a mix (i.e. mixed up) canine. You’d expect that for someone like Sisto, who can go from sane to insane on the turn of a dime that his dog would be just as crazy. But unfortunately, this was not the case.
However, something very special occurred.
Without any prompting of my own, without any matchmaking of any sort going on — Jeremy Sisto’s dog sauntered over to my dog in what seemed like an extremely subtle and well-played move… And perused and sniffed my dog.
Me: “Hey, your dog likes my dog!”
Jeremy Sisto looked at me like I had just told him that he’d have to go back on the medication he was fictitiously not-taking on his not-so real scripted HBO show. He didn’t say a thing, just looked back to his “shirtless bros” sitting on a bench a few feet away and looked back down as his dog gave my dog a little lick.
Me: “Yup. Your dog definitely likes my dog.”
Again, Sisto looked at me and moved his hand to his belt area of his pants — I have wondered if he was getting ready to (a) pull out a knife, (b) pull out something else a little more blunt or (c) hit me with an open hand and scream “Brenda!” at the same time. Instead, he said:
Jeremy: “Heh, yeah.”
“Heh, yeah?” Jeremy Sisto, who plays a psychotic, artistic, crazy, vocal, insane wannabe mental patient on Six Feet Under not only had nothing to say but a seven letter phrase that was more Beavis & Butthead than anything else. He just stood there, watching passively as his dog and my dog sniffed each other for a moment.
“Heh, yeah” rang and echoed through my brain as time stood still — as two dogs sniffed their day away in the middle of a hot, huge field in the hills above Hollywood. “Heh, yeah” continued to ring in my ears as I saw Jeremy Sisto’s career flash before my eyes — there was Grand Canyon and Clueless and that Jesus movie-of-the-week. But above all, there was his spirited and glassy-eyed medicated performance of Billy, the sister-loving, pill popping, ready-to-blow a gasket character who never in my dreams would have a silly little rat dog or respond with the phrase “Heh, yeah” as he watched his dog find paradise in another dog’s scent.
I couldn’t leave well enough alone.
Me: “Heh, yeah? That’s all you have to say? I mean, look. Our dogs like each other.”
Jeremy: “Excuse me?”
Well, now he was up to nine letters in a response that was just as underwhelming as the previous one.
Me: “Our dogs like each other. That means something. Don’t you think?”
Jeremy: “What does it mean?”
He was getting a little uncomfortable and annoyed it seemed, it was boiling from inside out — I recognized that look from that one episode of Six Feet where he flipped out and tried to carve his name in his sister’s back with a sharp knife. I took a step back and whistled to my dog.
Me: “Nothing, forget about it. It’s all good.”
Jeremy: “No, what do you mean?”
Me: “It’s just that… Well… It looks like our dogs like each other, you know, they’re sniffing and this is a big dog park so it’s sort of, you know, a coincidence! Fate!”
He looked at me, surveying the situation and possibly (I hoped) the ironic nature of the situation at hand.
Jeremy: “Heh, yeah.”
I couldn’t do it any longer. I picked up my dog and left the location as quickly as possible, leaving Mr. Two Word Response to his entourage, his lack of verbosity, and his tiny little rat dog behind.
Damn you Hollywood. You’re nothing like you’re supposed to be.
(Update: Our new friends at popbytes confirm the sighting as well.)