Is it strange that after so many Fridays over the course of our lives, this Friday is just as exciting as all the rest? Is it weird that while every other single item in our lives that repeats over and over again (another cookie, a birthday, lunchtime, the dentist, et al) gets old and boring and before long we can’t bear to experience it any longer — Friday continues to be just as exciting every single time?
It’s sort of like “Words For Your Enjoyment” — fresh, exciting, filled with 94% of all those extra vitamins and minerals you look for in starting off your weekend… And this week, is of course, no different.
Today’s idea was submitted by WFME’s new friend Kristine who suggested that today’s subject be about “metrosexuality, or punctuation, or being an attention whore, or having a counselor as an adult but not that AA kind, or something else…” The fact that she sent the suggestions, followed up with one of those Blue Mountain online greeting cards, added WFME to her blogroll and asked yours truly about his thoughts on ‘why bees don’t cry’ — well, it got us to thinking about attention whores.
Seriously, how annoying are attention whores?
First of all, before I get into it, let me just tell you that I just had a really exciting personal moment occur the other day related to my book. There are only a few times prior to your book being published that really get you all stoked out — and seeing the cover of the book for the first time is damn exciting. That happened this past week and if I may say so myself, seeing my name there at the bottom and the glossy cover image well it just got me really excited about all the press and notoriety that it would garner the book…
Anyway — there are five distinct categories of attention whores that make you aware of their presence in society. WFYE would like to categorize them for you with their common rallying cry (or statement) that always permeates their entire existence. They are:
The “Subtle” Attention Whore: “No, I’m not important…that is unless you really care to hear about what’s going on in my life…”
The “Not-So Subtle” Attention Whore: “I hope things are going as well with you as they are with me!”
The “Pay Attention” Attention Whore: “Man, you are not going to believe what I heard…about myself!”
The “Attention Is My Life” Attention Whore: “Hey, look at me! No, over here! Seriously, you won’t regret it. At ME. Look at ME. Okay, if you can’t look at me, just listen. Why aren’t you listening? Is there someone else you’re listening to instead?”
The “I Am GOD Here” Attention Whore: “Did I mention I was GOD here?”
Not like you really care about what’s going on in my life, but as I was drafting the above five “types” of attention whores I was thinking about how once you guys get a chance to read those you are SO going to be trackbacking and commenting on those because they’re just so apropros to life and the kind of people you interact with in your office and your home life and stuff…
But that’s just the thing — attention whores are everywhere. They want you to listen, they want you to taste, they want you to react, give opinions, tell them if those shoes match, whether or not they smell, or if their hair looks good, or if they should get botox, or implants, or even if they like the color of your car, your skin and your dog. Or if they should film their pregnancy and air it as a TV show on UPN. So annoying. I mean, people who do that are just crying out for attention and it’s both unappealing, unattractive and unbelieveable.
By the way — I haven’t heard much from all of you since July 1st about the blog redesign — I’ve tweaked a bunch of things and adjusted some hues on the background image that I think are kick-ass awesome. Don’t worry about responding about that right now — but just know that I’d love some feedback because everything I do, as Brian Adams once said…”I do it for you.”
So yeah, attention whores.