Audio Winning Words
July 14th, 2005
The e-mail came this morning.
Without warning, without ever entering any sweepstakes or lottery — I had won the El Gordo Spanish Sweestake Lottery S.A.. Total amount of winnings: $515,810.
All I had to do to retrieve my winnings was to call the number attached therein, ask for my lottery claim agent Mr. Alonzo Martinez, and before long I would be speeding down the freeway in my brand new Ferrari, with money stacked all around me! At least I thought so.
The following calls (part 1, part 2) just go to show you that nothing in life is free…but that most people will bend over backwards to believe that it is.
This makes me pine for an complete set of these. Classic, PD. Classic.
Comment by justin — July 14, 2005 @ 11:44 am
This is superb. I would go pick it up too!
Comment by Colin D. Devroe — July 14, 2005 @ 12:05 pm
That was awesome. I’m at work cracking up.
Comment by Cathy — July 14, 2005 @ 1:21 pm
So…. are you going to Madrid to put a cap in his ass? Get the cash!!!
Comment by monkeyinabox — July 14, 2005 @ 2:21 pm
I’m off to “central Madrid” asap.
Comment by Pauly D — July 14, 2005 @ 2:54 pm
That was brilliant! Pick me up a snowglobe while you’re in Madrid, k?
Comment by meme — July 14, 2005 @ 3:27 pm
That was hillarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by Karen — July 14, 2005 @ 6:04 pm
Way to take on the man, Jeff—er, Paul. Good luck collecting on that prize money.
Comment by Will — July 14, 2005 @ 7:20 pm
I love your sappy enthusiasm. “So you’re saying I won 515,000 DOLLARS? Hahahahaha, I’ve never won anything, this is great. I can definitely use the money.”
As aforementioned, classic.
Comment by Colin D. Devroe — July 14, 2005 @ 9:22 pm
I thought you said you were Jack Johnson and I busted out laughing. I probably heard that because one of his songs has been stuck in my head for two days straight.
And…Alonzo sounds more Asian than he sounds either Spanish or Latino.
I like how he always said “Hello?” to avoid a question and you’d ask it right back.
Way to be.
Comment by Elyse — July 14, 2005 @ 9:56 pm
I CAN’T. GET. ENOUGH.
…so funny
Comment by Kathleen — July 14, 2005 @ 11:04 pm
Definitely cracking up…thank you!
Comment by Ian — July 15, 2005 @ 7:16 am
*laughing my ass off* That was classic!
Comment by Molly — July 15, 2005 @ 8:13 am
Wait, wait, wait. I don’t get what everyoine thinks is so funny. I think it’s awesome! I wish I was the one who won that kind of money. I can’t believe you are so lucky. Will you at least set aside a few hundred for your loyal blogreaders so we can buy drinks to celebrate or something? Congrats, rich boy!
Comment by Fun Joel — July 15, 2005 @ 11:14 am
Joel - I will be more than happy to send you $75,000 if you can just forward me a payment processing form with your bank’s routing number, social security ID, and your blood type and mother’s maiden name.
Once I get that, you’re golden!
Comment by Pauly D — July 15, 2005 @ 11:17 am
twisted and brilliant! more please!!!
Comment by anne — July 16, 2005 @ 4:37 pm
Wait…you mean I shouldn’t have sent that form back? Shit…
Comment by Helena — July 23, 2005 @ 1:50 pm