You are currently browsing the archive for June 2005.
June 16th, 2005
WFME finds itself leaving Boston today and heading to the lush green pastures of Connecticut where we (me) hope to find the elusive Dairy Queen that is not combined with a El Pollo Loco.
We can only hope the reality meets expectations.
In other news, I’d like to personally announce (once and for all) that no matter what anyone says… No matter what the textbooks write… No matter what your English teacher might have taught you…
“Traveling” is not how you should spell “travelling.”
Two L’s. It should really be two L’s.
—
Posted under Travel, WFME Abroad. | 5 Comments »
June 15th, 2005
(The phone rings…)
Me: Hello?
Tom: Hey, Paul. It’s Tom Cruise. Yeeeeaaaaaah!!!!
Me: Uh, hi. You know it’s seven in the morning?
Tom: Yeeeaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! Do you know what I’m doing!?
Me: Uh, no. What are you doing.
Tom: Jumpin’ on crap. Yeeeeaaaaaahhhh!!!
Me: You woke me up. What do you want?
Tom: What do I waaaant!?! WHAT DO I WANT!?!
Me: Uh, yeah.
Tom: I want you to join Scientology.
Me: Didn’t Kate already do that for you?
Tom: Sure, but we want you too. Yeeaaaahhhhhh!!
Me: Can you stop yelling into the phone, please?
Tom: Sorry. So, will you join us?
Me: Um. Okay.
Posted under Celebrities, Satire, Tom Cruise. | 4 Comments »
June 15th, 2005
Who says you gotta go to an Ivy League school to be considered smart? Who says you gotta go to Harvard to get the life you want?
I was there yesterday. I even have a Harvard hat. And if I go around Los Angeles wearing my Harvard hat and I say things like “well, it’s inconceivable!” or “political discussions simply make me long for the silence of the Charles river!” or “conundrums inspire my brain to evolve” well, you’ll probably think I went to Harvard.
Who says you gotta have a Harvard degree (on paper) in order to get a job?
Posted under Education, WFME Abroad. | No Comments »
June 14th, 2005
“Stop whining and we can go to the graveyard.”
It was the phrase the mother uttered to her Ritalin-needing child in the Boston area Starbucks I was standing in yesterday.
“Stop whining and we can go to the graveyard.”
Really, is there any other city in the World where you would hear something like this? Sure, the famous graveyard along Boston’s Freedom Trail has some of America’s biggest freedom fighters buried there. And sure, tourists visit it daily (which I can see outside my hotel window at any point in any day), but when the only way you can get your kid to calm down and stop throwing bread at innocent passerbys while standing in a Starbucks coffee shop is to dangle a visit to a graveyard — well, someone needs to enroll you in a “How-To Negotiate With Your Child” class.
Posted under Overheard, WFME Abroad. | 10 Comments »
June 13th, 2005
The WFME friends over at Slay Your Demons have seen fit to run my contributing piece, “Salsa Bars: Spicy Mouth Parties or Evil Germ Receptacles” on their blog today — a blog all about ranting about your personal demons.
So check it out, get sick of the sanitary ungoodness of salsa bars, and come back and hurl your words my way.
Posted under Condiments, Food and Drink, Hygiene, Words Elsewhere. | 3 Comments »
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