Words for My Enjoyment

Me and “My Part” in The Breakfast Club

June 24th, 2005

You may or may not be aware that the 20th Anniversary of the film The Breakfast Club recently occured and was celebrated at the MTV Movie Awards with appearances by some of the film actors including Ally Sheedy, Anthony Michael Hall and Molly Ringwald. It was a blast from the past that was both surreal and freaky.

And it got me to thinking.

The Breakfast Club, for those who don’t know or are too young to know, is about a weekend in detention for the typical archetypes of high school students: the beauty queen, the criminal, the jock, the outcast, and the geek. Over the course of the weekend, they get to know each other, their walls break down, and they all become friends.

Blech.

If I were a part of the Breakfast Club you’d better believe that things would have been different. First of all, my attendance as the sixth member of the club (denoted hereforth as “guy with the fake leg”) would sure throw a monkey wrench into the proceedings.

Here’s the thing — I knew a girl in college who had a fake leg. And it looked totally real. And she had a version she’d wear when she was wearing shorts and a version she’d wear when she was wearing jeans. It was flexible, realistic and pretty damn cool!

Now just picture that sequence in the Breakfast Club where Judd Nelson is recreating a moment from his home life, with his abusive father giving him a pack of cigarettes for Christmas, and everyone in the room getting all somber and serious because this guy has a horrible life… Right?

Still with me?

And then, all of a sudden, I get up, pull my fake leg outta the socket and yell:

“Hey guys! Look’t me! I’m missing a leg!!!”

Well, you can imagine, how something like that would totally diffuse the situation. Everyone, including Judd Nelson and his horrible home life, would be on the floor hysterical.

Yes, indeed. The fake leg, once again, brings tears of laughter to everyone around.

You recall that sequence in which all of the kids are sitting talking about how they got to be there that day? And the geek, played by Anthony Michael Hall admits that he’s there because they found a gun in his locker? And remember how minutes after he reveals that, and he’s crying and stuff — minutes before he actually reveals it’s a flare gun and everyone starts laughing…?

That’s where I’d come in. Right before that moment, while the kid’s crying and stuff.

I’d stand up, pull that fake leg outta the socket again (with a suction-cuppy sound) and start hitting myself in the head with it, hopping around on one foot, and saying, “At least you’re not kicking yourself in the head right this minute!!!”

Yes. And laughter would follow.

And remember that time when the Guidance Counselor asks Andrew (Emilio Estevez) to help him prop the door open because the criminal has (secretly) stolen all of the screws? And while Emilio is getting up, the criminal says, “If Andrew gets up, we’ll all get up — and it’ll be anarchy!?”

Well, that’s where I’d chime in and say, “Well, at least Andrew can get up!!! I’m missing a leg for god’s sake!”

Laughter. Really it’s the best medicine.

And had only John Hughes decided to add the wonderfully charismatic and hilarious character of “guy missing a leg” to The Breakfast Club, well then maybe today we’d remember the movie, not only for its stark reality and humor, but for it’s ability to make light of a situation that today is hardly addressed, rarely discussed and more often than not — ignored.

I think you know what I’m saying, and I think you’re right there with me.

Posted under Film, Pop Culture, What If. |