Today’s Call From Kate Holmes
June 17th, 2005
(My cell phone rings, in the damn middle of the night.)
Me: Ngggth…hello?
Kate: Ohmygodohmigodohmygod!!
Me: Mom?
Kate: You. Are. Not. Going. To. Believe. This!!!!
Me: Is Dad OK?
Kate: Snap out of it, Pauly. It’s me. Kate.
Me: (Long sigh)
Kate: Hello!?
Me: Yeah, yeah. I’m here.
Kate: Did Tom call you yet?
Me: Two days ago. To ask me to join him in all the glory that is Scientology.
Kate: Ohmigodohmigodohmigod, what did you say?
Me: I told him yes, Kate. I told him yes.
Kate: Teehee. Which is exactly what I told him!
Me: Yeah, he already told me.
Kate: Nonononono. Not Scientology. I told him YES about something else.
Looooooooooong pause.
Kate: Hello? Are you there? What’s that banging sound?
Me: Sorry, Kate. I’m back. I was just banging my head on the closet door. Repeatedly.
Kate: Why would you do that?
Me: Sometimes, Kate… Sometimes people do things that make no sense whatsoever. That often, seem ludicrous, insane and, well, stupid.
Kate: Ohmigodohmigod, I’m so excited! I’ve gotta call my parents now!
Me: You go… Girl.
(Click)
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Previous Tom Cruise Insanity:
Today’s Call From Tom Cruise
The Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes Factor
Today’s Page Six Article About Katie Holmes From the Future
Tom Cruise & Me: A Detailed Minute by Minute Journal
Why is it that people in the train wrecks can’t see the train wrecks coming, even when every other human being is waving their hands around wildly, saying, “Look out! You are about to get in a train wreck!”?
Comment by Dylan — June 17, 2005 @ 8:14 am
That, Dylan, is because people riding trains never look out the windows. They’re too concerned with what’s going on INSIDE.
Comment by Pauly D — June 17, 2005 @ 8:25 am
Your phone number seem to be unlisted. We’d like to contact you for comment.
Comment by The attorneys for Kate Holmes — June 17, 2005 @ 10:13 am
It had to be those blindingly perfect TEETH!
Comment by Fun Joel — June 17, 2005 @ 10:18 am
poor poor girl. she’s losing herself. she’s also fired her managers and using Tom’s.
Comment by C(h)ristine — June 17, 2005 @ 11:37 am
a trainwreck indeed, but one that takes 9 years 11 months to unfold.
Comment by em — June 17, 2005 @ 11:51 am