Ian Ziering is Following Me

You may recall back in February when I spotted Ian Ziering working out at my gym.

It was, to say the least, shocking that one of the stars from Beverly Hills, 90210, a guy with tons of syndication money arriving at his mailbox daily, would settle on working out at a Magic Johnson owned 24 Hour Fitness club.

But that seemingly, was just the beginning.

The chain of events, which has recently been revealed to me goes a little something like this:

1. Ian Ziering goes to 24 Hour Fitness.
2. Paul Davidson spots Ian Ziering at 24 Hour Fitness.
3. Paul Davidson makes weird face to himself, stunned.
4. Paul Davidson makes thoughtful face to himself, thinking.
5. Paul Davidson has idea for blog post.
6. Paul Davidson trips and falls off treadmill, seemingly the result of not being able to brainstorm about blog posts AND work out at the same time.
7. Paul Davidson writes blog post about Ian Ziering.
8. Ian Ziering, home all day since the cancellation of Beverly Hills, 90210 sits at home all day Googling himself on the web.
9. Ian Ziering finds random and hurtful post about his workout schedule as written by one Pauly D.
10. Ian Ziering decides he’s going to find out all he can about this Paul Davidson, and start writing blog posts about him.
11. Ian Ziering tracks down Paul’s address from Industry friends.
12. Ian Ziering begins his elaborate and mind-twisting “inverse celebrity stalking” where a Celebrity stalks an innocent, un-famous blogger in an attempt to intimidate and shock.

On Monday, I happened to be going to grab some breakfast at the Studio City Dupar’s restaurant and as I walked up to the front door, there was a trio of men sitting, watching a video on a laptop.

The crew was a literal who’s who of people not really doing much since their shows got cancelled. There was Peter Facinelli, married to Jennie Garth (of Beverly Hills, 90210 and What I Like About You) and who starred in, well, Can’t Hardly Wait. And sitting at the table next to him was none other than Ian Ziering.

The thing is, it was weird because as soon as we approached the restaurant, it was like Ian knew we were coming. He made eye contact, did that eyebrow raising facial expression, then went and sat down at the table — tracking me the whole way as I went to enter the establishment.

And then — like a scene right out of Cape Fear, Ziering made this LOUD laugh.

I’m not kidding, the guy (along with his friends) are watching something on this laptop, but he’s laughing SO LOUD the closer I get. In my mind, I imagined as I passed by him he was going to grab me, throw me to the ground, and threaten me for my creative online writing. But no.

Instead, as I went for the door handle, almost out of earshot, he said one last thing to his friends, that I can only imagine had something to do with me. He said:

“I’d laugh more if I could, but really — there’s nothing funny to laugh at. There are no words at all that I could read that would make me laugh at all.”

See?

It’s not like the guy was watching I Love Lucy on the laptop or anything. It was a music video of some kind. But even if that was the only interaction I had with the Zie-ringer, it would have been enough to convince me he was stalking me to teach me some kind of skewed Hollywood lesson.

But minutes later, as I was sitting down at the counter in Dupar’s, he made sure that he sat two seats down from me. Staring at me as he downed orange juice and laughing even more hysterically with some woman in tow. A woman that he had not been with before.

Take it for what it’s worth, people, but Ian Ziering is following me.

What do I do? What can I do, is more the question. What have I done to deserve such a situation? Well, if you think that by simply posting my observations of Ian at the gym that it should result in this kind of harrassment, you’re wrong. I don’t deserve to be followed around when I go on personal errands. Sure, harrass me on my blog — but in my personal life, I think that’s sort of lame.

I’ll keep you all updated if I see Ziering today.

Because deep down, I have a feeling I will.

13 comments on “Ian Ziering is Following Me

  1. Hilary - June 1, 2005 at 9:06 am -

    Who knew Dupar’s was a good place for B-list celeb sightings? Ya learn something new everyday…

  2. sphinx - June 1, 2005 at 9:40 am -

    Sorry you have to be bothered by such a huge nobody…although I only discovered your blog yesterday (and read as much as I could), I feel safe in saying that I think you will get the better of him, heh heh. Maybe you can try the retarded persona you used on that telemarketer. Or, loudly announce to the entire room while pointing at him, “Hey everybody, it’s Ian Ziering!!!” on the off chance that no one will know who that is and, after a few confused looks around the room, will return to their meals and conversations without a single glassy eye, dribble of saliva, or request for an autograph.

    On a seperate note, I offer the following observation for your enjoyment in lieu of flowers or other tribute (in keeping with the stalking theme). Why don’t advertisers take better care in choosing a theme song for their commercials? Last night while watching an ad for some bank, who used that lame song from the early 90s with lyrics “I’ve got the power”, I was suddenly overwhelmed with a need to go to the potty – which I realized was due to previous exposure to the Huggies Pull-Ups commercial, using the same damned song. Not cool.

  3. C(h)ristine - June 1, 2005 at 11:54 am -

    You make me want to live in L.A. again, Pauly, for all the fun you have there…

    that’s saying a LOT.

  4. Ian Roberts - June 1, 2005 at 12:30 pm -

    All I know is he’s made it even harder to get people to pronounce my name correctly. It’s E’-en, dangit, not I’-en.

    Ian, as in “Indian” and “Endian” and…and…and… “Octogenarian”!

    So I say, next time you see him, go ahead and shout, but pronounce his name the way it *should* be! Long live the long e!

  5. Pauly D - June 1, 2005 at 12:35 pm -

    Sphinx: Funny you mention the lack of good jingles these days — I did a piece for NPR’s All Things Considered last year on that. See today’s latest post for information on that.

    As for E-en, I agree that Ian Ziering’s stupid new pronunciation of his name has done more to hurt this democracy than any other single event since the dawn of time.

  6. Dave - June 1, 2005 at 4:21 pm -

    I was just messing around on the computer and wondering how my cousin was doing, whether he had any big projects or anything going on lately. So I decided to key in your name. Lo and behold, I am directed to this page. IAN ZIERING is stalking you. NO WAY! Brian Austin Green…maybe, Dudley from Diff’rent Strokes… possibly, Punky Brewster…sure, but IAN FRICKIN ZIERING? Say it ain’t so Paul! I guess you can run but you can’t hide. Good luck.

  7. Esther - June 2, 2005 at 7:39 am -

    Whoa. We’re both being stalked by celebs. Only Tina Fey’s stalking of me in mutualicious. And perhaps more meaningful to me than to her. Perhaps.

  8. Esther - June 2, 2005 at 7:40 am -

    Sorry. That was so supposed to be “is mutualicious.” Plus my computer “remembered” my old URL. So, consider this a dual correction. Not that you care.

  9. Kristi - June 2, 2005 at 2:15 pm -

    Paul, you totally crack me up 🙂

  10. […] Forget about Ian Ziering. […]

  11. NICKY Nix - July 29, 2006 at 11:26 am -

    Ian Ziering is a cool dude. You da man! The rest of you need to get a life. How many shows were you on that lasted 10 years! I’m sure he is glad he can go to 24 hour fitness. He still has cash, and memories that we all will never have.

  12. Smith - August 21, 2006 at 10:45 am -

    Dude, bring along Nikki’s Playboy pictures and ask him next time what its like knowing other dudes are dumping there baby batter in her love hole? That should do the trick.

  13. John Becks - May 11, 2007 at 12:27 am -

    Ian and Cheryl get my vote! They always look fantastic and give every dance their 100%. Ian is not a professional dancer like Joey Fatone, or a professional athlete like Apolo or Laila, so he comes to the show at a disadvantage to them. But yet he stays up with them in talent. A week ago he received six straight “9s” from the judges, so he definitely has the potential to win. I hope he surprises everyone by giving us his best performances in the next two weeks and capturing the trophy. If you like Ian and Cheryl, please do your part to vote for them on Monday — vote 4 times for each phone number and 4 times online. Also, Ian has really cool videos on his websites at http://www.IanZiering.com and http://www.MySpace.com/OfficialIZ and there you can sign up to receive his fun email blasts.

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