Words for My Enjoyment

How Watching the Finale of Lost Is Like Someone Smashing You In The Head With A Non-Stick Frying Pan

May 26th, 2005

Disclaimer: There will be spoilers below from the finale of “Lost”, so if you haven’t seen it or care about these things, then please turn back now.

Let me pose a question to you:

Imagine you’re sitting in a college auditorium, with your laptop, about ready to listen to the Professor tell you all you need to know about a certain subject. Hell, you’ve paid your dues (i.e. tuition) and now it’s time to fill your head with useful information that you can, one day, use to your advantage.

There’s only one problem.

Each and every time the Professor gets ready to let you in on some very insightful or interesting information, about the time you’re ready to type it into your laptop or start to process the information, one of his or her teacher’s assistant comes around and smacks you in the face with a frying pan. It’s problematic, to say the least — because it brings up even more problems and makes it even harder to concentrate, focus or learn a damn thing.

Enter the Season Finale of Lost.

Trust me — I have been a dedicated fan of this show from the beginning. I have watched each show, as it aired, every week. I have been desperate to know the answers. I have been patient. I have read magazine articles and interviews with the Producers and Writers who have said (and I quote): “The finale of Lost is definitely going to answer a lot of questions that the fans have…”

Did it? Uh, let me ponder that question for a second while I ready my frying pan and hit myself in the face.

No.

There have been major elements that have been introduced over the course of this first season of Lost and they include:

An invisible monster we haven’t seen, but heard.
A hatch, that can’t be opened.
A selection of unlucky numbers, whose importance we can’t confirm.
A raft, whose escape is uncertain.
The major question, of what’s really going on.

Those are the major questions. And, let’s see what the writers gave us in the finale:

Some kind of floaty-smoke that’s supposed to resemble a monster.
A hatch, now opened, that has a ladder leading down inside.
More unlucky numbers, whose importance we can’t confirm.
A raft, which is destroyed, while trying to escape.
A group of guys right out of “Deliverance” who come out of nowhere to steal a cast member.

No answers. More questions.

I said weeks ago that if these writers didn’t deliver in the Season Finale that I would be done with Lost and I’m proud to say that since they have NOT delivered, and because I am a man of my word…

I will continue to watch like the bitch they’ve made me.

Damn you, “Lost”. Damn you all to Hell!

Posted under Lost, Television. |