Jedi Mind-Trick Waiters

The Jedi Mind-Trick has now become the most commonly-used tool by Los Angeles based waiters.

I recently went out to lunch with a group of friends to a local place in L.A. called Hugo’s. While there, one of the parties at the table ordered a hamburger. That’s right. A good ‘ol American beef hamburger. Really, there’s not much to confuse an order such as that — but when my hamburger-ordering pal got his plate, it seemed as if something was afood at the Circle K.

Hamburger Friend: Does this look like a hamburger to you guys?

We looked at the burger — he had already taken a bite out of it. It looked less brown and more of a light-white color.

Words On ‘A Dime’

Today begins the exciting home-renovation process of Design on a Dime.

If you are like me and try to stay away from anything that remotely involves having to “do it yourself” you probably aren’t a regular watcher of HGTV (Home & Garden Television). If you are like me and everytime you try and put a new hanging shelf on the wall, the entire house collapses — you definitely try to stay away from anything that requires you picking up a hammer.

Yet here I sit, minutes away from the “crew” arriving, and a long day ahead of me.

The Sadness That Accompanies No More Crank-Calling

You really have got to feel for the children of today.

Because, as technology has improved over the decades, with Caller ID and Star-69 and tons of other telephone related technologies, the art of the crank-call has sadly gone the way of the dinosaurs. For the World’s children and their mischievous friends, crank calling is an art-form that is all but dead.

No longer, can children call someone and tell them they’re from the electric company…and that they’re working on the electrical lines today…and so if their phone rings not to answer it for it is just them [said children pretending to be from the electrical company] for fear of electrocuting the workers. No longer, can children THEN, call right back and let said person’s phone ring over and over and over again until someone answers it — prompting said children pretending to be electric company workers to let-off blood-curdling screams into the receiver.

The State of the ‘Lurker’

Aah, the lurkers.

They spend their day going about their business, reading other people’s blogs, never commenting and being as invisible as they want to be. They are quiet, unassuming and often they are people that you probably know.

Every once in awhile, of course, the lurker comes out from their curtain long enough to comment on something that really got their goat or hit them where it counted. And while some bloggers treat that moment as a “Well, jeez. What took you so long to comment!?” moment, I instead like to treat it as a coming out party.

I mean, why not?

Found Words

As March is just about upon us, my latest piece in Wired Magazine has just hit stands. (The online version of it can be found here.)

If you’re familiar with the magazine, you know that the back page of the mag features a regular piece they call Found: Artifacts From the Future. In a nutshell, it’s a one-page image of something that we may someday find ourselves using. This month’s, provided by yours truly, involves the future of teleportation (i.e. “Beam Me Up, Scotty!”) and how air travel passengers of today, may someday find themselves, registering for Transporter Insurance in the future.

DNA matter transportation is a sketchy, dangerous thing, you know.