Jedi Mind-Trick Waiters

The Jedi Mind-Trick has now become the most commonly-used tool by Los Angeles based waiters.

I recently went out to lunch with a group of friends to a local place in L.A. called Hugo’s. While there, one of the parties at the table ordered a hamburger. That’s right. A good ‘ol American beef hamburger. Really, there’s not much to confuse an order such as that — but when my hamburger-ordering pal got his plate, it seemed as if something was afood at the Circle K.

Hamburger Friend: Does this look like a hamburger to you guys?

We looked at the burger — he had already taken a bite out of it. It looked less brown and more of a light-white color.

Me: That’s supposed to be a burger?

Hamburger Friend: Yeah. Supposed to be.

Me: Well, you should tell the waiter.

Just at that moment, the Jedi waiter walked by the table to see if everything was OK. Little did we know, he was already gearing up to smear the Force all over our minds.

Hamburger Friend: Excuse me?

Waiter: Yes? Is everything OK?

Hamburger Friend: What is this?

The HF held up the burger so the waiter could see it.

Waiter: A veggie burger, no?

Hamburger Friend: A veggie burger!?

Waiter: What did you order?

Hamburger Friend: I ordered a hamburger. Is this a hamburger or a veggie burger?

A pause. The waiter looked as if he was powering up his Jedi Mind Trick skills. And then, it came out of his mouth — so honest and so believeable.

Waiter: That is a hamburger.

We looked at each other. It didn’t look like a hamburger.

Hamburger Friend: Are you sure it’s a hamburger?

Waiter: That is a hamburger.

Hamburger Friend: Because I’m not going to eat a veggie-burger. If it’s meat, I’ll eat it. If it’s chicken or a turker burger, that’s fine. But I’m not going to eat a veggie-burger.

Waiter: No, that’s a hamburger.

Hamburger Friend: But it doesn’t look like a hamburger. Hamburgers are brown. This isn’t brown or even red.

Waiter: Do you want me to replace it with another one? It will only take a second.

Hamburger Friend: Well, if it’s a hamburger, then no.

Waiter: It’s a hamburger.

Hamburger Friend: Oooo….K.

The waiter looked around nervously, and quickly slipped away from our table. We all looked at each other with confusion. Was it a hamburger? Our minds were starting to boil.

Me: That’s not a hamburger.

Hamburger Friend: No, it’s not.

When the bill came — our suspicions were confirmed. Listed on the top of the list was Veggie Burger. The waiter had tried to use his Jedi Mind Tricks on us to mask the fact that he had made a huge mistake then tried to cover it up with his confusing, babbling words.

It had dissuaded us this time from re-ordering. But next time we’d know how to handle the likes of such Bantha fodder.

Oh yes. We would be ready.

12 comments on “Jedi Mind-Trick Waiters

  1. monkeyinabox - February 24, 2005 at 8:56 am -

    The FORCE was clearly not with you that day.

  2. groovebunny - February 24, 2005 at 9:20 am -

    Waiters who rely on tips should not attempt the use of the Jedi mind trick. Especially if the waiter is too dense to change the bill to prove once and for all, the veggie burger is indeed a hamburger.

  3. Denise - February 24, 2005 at 1:49 pm -

    Tipless should that waiter be.

  4. Wendy - February 24, 2005 at 2:44 pm -

    Next time go armed with light sabres.

  5. Yoda - February 24, 2005 at 4:59 pm -

    Hmm, in the force my young padiwan grows…trick you with a veggie burger, did he!

  6. pinky - February 24, 2005 at 7:34 pm -

    it saddens me to say this…but that burger you ordered,,,well…theres probably an ewok missing somewhere…

  7. lomara - February 24, 2005 at 11:59 pm -

    You should have just pulled your blaster out and shot him before he tried the Jedi Mind Trick.

    Just like Han. He shot first.

  8. Zombie Flyboy - February 25, 2005 at 12:14 am -

    You should have just started yelling “WHERE’S THE BEEF???!!!”, just like that little old ladie from the T.V. commercials.

  9. Andy - February 25, 2005 at 1:34 pm -

    You shoulda force-choked him.

  10. IMAO - February 24, 2005 at 7:46 pm -

    Links of the Day

    Davids Medienkritik organized a rally in support of the America-Germany relationship. Cathy Seipp has humble opinions on why the blogosphere…

  11. nic - September 1, 2005 at 9:58 am -

    Waiter didn’t do it right. It’s not that f’n difficult to fix a bill.
    But the guy ate the thing, right? And he’ll probably come in next time and get a real hamburger and wonder why it’s red/brown.

  12. proserver - September 6, 2006 at 11:17 am -

    depending on what system the waiter has to use at his place of employment, the bill would not be able to be fixed unless he had a managers card or code. maybe he was on thin ice and didnt want to notify a manager that he rang in the wrong item. either way, as a professional waiter, i say what he did was wrong, but funny at the same time. hes lucky you didnt ask for a manager.

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