Really, people — is this world filled with millions of lazy folks?
If you’re typing a message or an e-mail or a letter or a document or your dissertation and you come across a word or a sentence you’d like to capitalize for dramatic purposes — do you really need a CAPS LOCK?
I mean, is it really that problematic to hold down the shift key and type “THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPED OVER THE LAZY DOG”? (I just did it there, without the crutch-like help of a CAPS LOCK key and it seemed to work fine for me.)
09. “Indeed, Grouther — we do traverse a Rocky Road.”
08. Like they say, the cream always rises to the top!”
07. “Ben…Jerry…I’m the one with the gun.”
06. “We came to chew bubblegum and kick ass — and since we’re all out of bubblegum ice cream, and there’s no such thing as Ass-Ice Cream, we’re just going to have to chew bubblegum and kick ass like we said in the first place.”
05. “Now, those baddies are finally going to have to a-cone for their sins…”
04. “We sure stopped ’em cold, didn’t we?”
03. “Looking into your eyes, right this minute, I had no idea… No idea the emotion I’d feel when I realized that I could see the reflection of all 31 flavors in there…”
I work out.
Let me just put that out there so you can think about it for a moment. Yes, I get up early on a daily basis and I go to the gym and I work out and pump iron and often yelp when I bang my right knee into a variety of metal objects. My right knee loves to smash itself against such things. In fact, it’s my bad knee now, due to such activities. But I work out. And you must accept that before I may continue.
American Idol hit a new painful low (re: Midol, which can quickly help you get rid of those painful cramps and sharp pains) this week with their “we’re-trying-to-be-even-more-dramatic and-cut-people-at-the-end-of-every episode-with-these-stupid-pausing you-are-now-safe” moments of Hell.
If you don’t watch the show, you’re lucky. But each week after the male and female performers strut their stuff (Mon and Tue nights), they’re sat down on Wednesday to figure out which two men and women are going home. But, really, it’s more like a painful version of musical chairs to confuse the contestants and the viewers at home in an attempt to create drama. But which, really, creates more negative feelings towards the way the show works. For example:
After taking a huge financial hit last week via “Words For Your Enjoyment 2.0″ in which yours truly opened his big mouth and offered up a ham (yes, a ham) to the person whose idea I ended up using, I have decided that a well-needed no-pork product hiatus was what we all needed.
And it just happened to coincide with a brand-new edition of Mental Floss Magazine.
The new March/April edition of the magazine, on stands now, features a 10-pager by yours truly called Scatterbrained: Rock n’ Roll. It’s ten pages filled with really humorous and interesting tidbits on the world’s craziest drummers, video games and rock stars joining forces, the British Invasion, groupies, sell-outs and a bunch on the business of rock n’ roll. It was a blast to put together, and inspired a previous post about how rock n’ roll these days is nothing compared to the majesty of what used to be.