The Best of Words

If you can believe it — the daily postings of Words For Your Enjoyment began back in December of 2003 — marking this month as the official one-year anniversary of the blog.

(If you can do me a favor here and picture a bunch of those old-school Arthurian trumpeters doing a whole big fanfare right here at this moment, that would help me out immensely.)

In celebration of a FULL YEAR of posts (611 to be exact) — the tirelessly working staff here at WFME has picked out their favorite posts from the previous year. There are some gems in there… Hell, they are all gems. So if you see a title of a column you never read, you can probably bet the family farm that indeed, you have never read it.

I Could Be The Hottest Young Rookie In NASCAR History Thanks To Days of Thunder

It’s true. I could be the hottest young rookie in NASCAR History.

Mind you, I have never driven a race car, driven a car on the Autobahn, sped more than 20 miles above the speed limit, crashed into a wall, another car (well, except for that one time) and/or worn a helmet with a cool microphone add-on while doing any of the above things.

But here I sit, today, on my couch — and I can’t help but think to myself that with a little know-how, a little dedication and a pit-manager/mentor named Harry, that I could truly be the next hot young rookie in NASCAR History.

What does it take to be a hot young NASCAR rookie, you ask?

Funny Words (Author’s Opinion Only)

The Jan/Feb issue of mental_floss magazine hits stands right about now (yes, seriously, like this exact minute in time) and features my mammoth 10 pager article, “Scatterbrained: Figures of Speech.”

It is, all at once, exciting, exhilirating, interesting, intriguing, mind-blowing, humorous, happy-go-lucky, sinister, evil, a shadow of what it once was, and going through puberty.

If you get a chance, pick up a copy!

WFME’s Nobody Is Listening, Part Deux

Lately, the staff at WFME has felt the need to go out into the public and listen to how people interact with each other. For such an intelligent society, you’d think we’d be masters that that communication thing, but in reality, we’re all too self-absorbed to think about anyone but ourselves. Which reminds me, I have to call that guy about that thing today.

Either way, here are some of life’s questions, and how well we communicate with those who ask them of us:

Q: Plastic or paper?
a: Yes, please.

Q: Would you like to supersize that?
a: Pepsi.

Q: What do you think I am, stupid!?
a: I have no idea what you’re talking about.