This Post Will Not Recap Thanksgiving

November 28th, 2004

It’s true — there is no recap to follow regarding turkey, gravy, sweets, family brawls that involved the throwing of mashed potatoes and there will definitely be no recap about the senile old folks. All these things will never be recapped here, there or anywhere.

Having recently just re-arrived back in the wonderful world of Los Angeles, I left the main building of my homestead and traversed through the backyard to the hidden guest house on my property. Here, I can quietly waste even more time while I should be working on certain projects I am currently being paid to do.

Most exciting, of course, is the fact that I am now writing two pieces for the February issue of Wired Magazine as well as another 10 pager for Mental Floss Magazine. My first 10 page article (”Scatterbrained: Figures of Speech”) will hit the Jan/Feb Mental_Floss Magazine when it arrives in mailboxes and on newsstands right around Dec 29th. The magazine writing, of course, has been fun for me lately — and snagging some pieces in Wired will definitely, hopefully lead me to the prime opportunity to finally get to put together one of those “which thing does not belong” for Highlights Magazine. Fingers are crossed.

I got a call this week from the Producing camp I’m working with to bring Consumer Joe to the little screen (i.e. TV) which pertained trying to get a “big name” attached to host the show. Would you believe that the first name out of Producers’ agents’ mouth was Jesse Ventura? Sure, the guy was great in Predator and was a good governor, but host of a half-hour comedy show based on my book? Jon Stewart, no problem. Patton Oswalt, sure. Jesse Ventura? No thanks.

I know, I know — beggers can’t be choosers. But you know what? People who settle, often settle for something that ends up looking like a piece of crap anyway - so you gotta fight for your creative vision above and beyond anything else. Fortunately, said Producers also agreed. Same page equals good thing.

(My god - is this an entry that actually has something to do with my life? Insanity.)

As many of you have already figured out — my false cries of “hiatus” were met with laughs over the holidays as fresh content appeared each and every day since Wednesday. It’s a disease, people. A horrific disease that, if not treated soon, will result in pages and pages of nonsensical writings.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Posted under Holidays, Magazines. |

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    9 Comments »

    1. Gravatar

      A TV show would be so cool!!

      But Jesse Ventura? NO.

    2. Gravatar

      OK, so who do you want the actor to be?

    3. Gravatar

      God, my dream guy would be Ryan Stiles from The Drew Carey Show and Whose Line Is It Anyway?. He is a master-comedian, awesome at improv, and hilarious to watch.

    4. Gravatar

      Ryan Stiles…good choice.

      Nice reading over the holiday weekend. Hope you had a great holiday!

    5. Gravatar

      Mrs. Malone and I were not surprised you didn’t miss a day - you’ve gone non-stop for so long.

      So if you have to go with an ex-Preditor, I say you throw Carl Weathers a bone. He no LESS funny than Jesse plus he could use the work (his “Action Jackson” money must be gone by now).

      And if you have to go with an ex-Governor, I hear Gray Davis is free.

      As far as ex-Whose Line Stars, I think Ryan would rock.

    6. Gravatar

      Did you see Carl Weathers on Arrested Development? He was hilarious!

      As for Ryan, great choice.

    7. Gravatar

      Congratulations no matter what — that’s awesome!

    8. Gravatar

      Wired Magazine! I know the TV is awesome and all, but I’m thrilled I get to see (read) you in one of my favorite monthly subscriptions. Hurray!

    9. Gravatar

      All of that, quite excellent news! Ryan Stiles would be wonderful for your show! Congratulations!

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