My Head Is Huge

I have one of those bathroom medicine cabinets that allows you to open it up and use that and the front mirror to get a full view of your entire head. I mean, you can see your sideburns, the line of your hair on your neck, your ears — you get the ultimate 3-D view of your skull.

I am extremely distraught that I felt the need to look.

Because while looking at the watermelon that IS my head, I came to the conclusion that indeed my head is the biggest head I have ever seen in all my years on the face of the earth. I mean, I used to think the kid who played Rocky in M.A.S.K. with that huge deformed head had it really bad until I saw my head in the mirror. At least Rocky (played by Eric Stolz and mothered by Cher) had a deformed head that matched his body. Me? I’ve got a head the size of a huge Thanksgiving Day turkey on top of a tiny, skinny frame of a body.

I didn’t tell anyone, until now, that I felt my head was this huge.

Instead, I’d go around asking people to look at my digital pictures and see if anything looked out of the ordinary. I’d stand in front of cardboard cut-outs of other well-known celebrities to see if people noticed the skullular inconsistencies. I would lay my head on people’s laps to see if the weight put too much pressure on their abdomen, causing them to uncontrollably urinate in their pants.

In all of the above situations, except for the urination thing, no one noticed the fact that my head was extremely huge and largely abnormal for a man of my age, stature and weight. I immediately went to see my doctor to ask him about my head. The conversation proves that no one wants to admit to me my head is huge for fear of causing great distress:

Me: Is my head huge, Doc?
Doctor: Your head is perfect, Paul.
Me: No, really. Look at it. It’s way too big for my body.
Doctor: You’ve got a very symmetrical looking head, Paul.
Me: Symmetrically big, sure. But too big for my body, right?
Doctor: People with bigger skulls were known to be smarter in the olden times.
Me: So, you’re saying I have a big skull, then?
Doctor: No, Paul. I’m saying that you’re smart.

I have asked my parents if they thought my skull was too big and their responses have ranged between asking me if my boots are “popular” and if my jeans “are supposed to hang low like that” instead of addressing the head issue. Sure, because I can change my shoes and my jeans but I cannot change the size of my blimp-like noggin.

I have asked my friends if they think my body looks skinny compared to my head and they have simply responded that I shouldn’t get so obsessed about working out and that I should be satisfied with my body type.

Again, everyone disregards or ignores the size of my head.

Well, my medicine cabinet mirror in conjunction with my front bathroom mirror has not. It has, in one swift swing of an open medicine cabinet door revealed the honest truth to my ears, my mouth, my nose and my chin. I have the hugest head out of anyone I have seen.

No wonder hats looks so small. No wonder I can’t find a pair of glasses that look cool. No wonder I always wake up in the middle of the night with my head OFF the pillow. No wonder headrests in cars just hit my neck. No wonder when I sing I hear echoing.

No wonder, no wonder, no wonder.

722 comments on “My Head Is Huge

  1. John - August 21, 2015 at 9:59 am -

    I’ve got 24.2 inches head and I’m 5’9 !! I’ve been bullied at school for having a large head, students called me a “Lamp”, which I think was kinda funny…lol

    Even in college I heard people whispering look at that guy with huge head..etc (it was the worst when I was bold)

    Now I’ve graduated and I’m working as a sales agent, but I figured out that the best solution is to live with it. Try not to fight back or hide the fact that you have a big head. for example: if someone said you have a big head laugh about it, its okay. put yourself in their shoes. Don’t make it big deal, just move on. And people who repeatedly bully you are the ones who are insecure so you can bully them back in a smart way but don’t let them think that saying funny things about your head will get you sad.

    I think I’ve got to the point that I no longer fear the society, I can do whatever I want in my life and my body. and as Tupac said “Only God can judge me”. Today I will get my hair cut as bold because I like it on me, even it makes my head looks a little bigger, but its already big. so it wont matter.

    Believe me guys don’t beat yourself up or think that life is unfair bla bla…it will only make things worse. Just accept who you are and remember the good thing about this is that god put everyone in a test through there life, ours was hard. but there is people with a much worse condition. ?And as a Muslim the Quran helped me a lot though the bad times I keep repeating to my self: with the name of god: “These shall be granted their reward twice, because they are steadfast…” [al-Qasas 28:54].”

    Just be patient and be cool, and remember what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, as it did for me 🙂

    Sorry for my bad english..goodbye and stay positive 🙂

  2. Anonymous - September 27, 2015 at 1:26 am -

    I have 20 inch big head and my height is 5’7. It is quite normal but my freind always say that your head is looking big and this dissapoint me.

  3. kichwa - September 29, 2015 at 7:35 am -

    Hello,
    This article and it’s comments has helped me a lot. As I was thinking suicidal. I don’t know the circumference of my head but it’s huge like really really BIG. I’m 188cm or more and weighs 81KGS but my head as I look it in a mirror is BIG as I have an helmet on an normal sized head. I’d been teased from when I was very young like 4 yrs until now I’m 23 yrs. I have come to terms with my head but lately I had cut my hair and it stressed me a lot and wakes my most fears of insecurity. The good thing is I look tough and no one comments/jokes when I’m around and considering that I’m in 3rd world Country, they know better to not make fun near tough guys because they can have their pretty faces rearranged to something not so pretty. I have girlfriends now but not for so long because I have been masturbating for like forever(8yrs). Like everyone thinks I’m funny and caring but I don’t consider myself funny rather than not perfect and thinks about small things so much. My parents are normal, my father is really handsome and my mother is pretty but (if we can compare male and female then my father would win). Some times ago I think why didn’t I get the looks of my father as my young bro but I came to conclusion when I saw guys who are not attractive at all, having things I want. I’m smart everyone says I’m smart I have never considered myself smart but that what they say and as in college I used to ace courses which troubles 90% of the class. Technically I don’t believe in GOD because if I were I would be blaming him for giving me this disadvantage in the game of no mercy. I feel like I have been cheated and considered to cheat myself but I don’t like cheating.

    I feel like to continue but to keep it short I’ve really enjoyed this post as it saturated my stress level to somehow normal but not.

  4. Jassie - October 21, 2015 at 6:39 am -

    I am 19yrs old i have big head with 9inches lng

  5. Liu Peng - October 24, 2015 at 12:11 pm -

    OMG ! finally , i got a big head too , f*** this , is there any surgery for big headed people ! i’m serious , i’m really depressed right now

  6. Ifeelyoubruh - January 6, 2016 at 8:01 pm -

    I understand completely how you feel about your head because i too have the biggest head I’ve ever seen. Over the years I’ve been growing my hair and styling it to hide the shape of my head. Picture the head from alien predator but a little bigger and you probably thought of the size and shape of my head. Over the years i have come to accept it although some days and just say like god damn i have never seen a cranium this big. I buy XXL hats to cover my head so I don’t have to see it and whenever i move my jaw my head gets bigger when eating. This insecurity has haunted me all my life and its one of the toughest to deal with because i see it everyday. But man it hasn’t stopped me from getting women or loving myself. We hefty headed fellows and any ladies with big heads need to show the world that just because we don’t have societies definition of a perfect head doesn’t mean we can’t be perfect the way we are. I’m glad i was born with a big head and not blind or deaf so i thankful everyday

  7. Anon - January 17, 2016 at 6:21 am -

    At least no one tells you that. I suffer with my own father making fun of my head since I was a child. And I have to use the weirdest 80s hairstyles or people will notice. Then when people don’t make me feel ridiculous because of my head, they make me feel ridiculous because of my hairstyle. I have a large, inverted triangle shaped ET head btw. Only good thing is because of my childish face and my long legs alongside with my big head some say I look like an anime character.

  8. Lookatthiskidshead - January 23, 2016 at 9:05 am -

    This kid tried to self reflect his insecurity about his massive alienized Frankenstein tumour sized head onto me project his own perceptional look about himself and alter his own projection momentarily to conceal his physical inadequacy about his head he still covers his gigantic alien sized forehead with a fringe big enough for 4 peoples foreheads LOL here’s the freak it’s so disgustingly disproportionate https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150203695169793&set=t.612352809&type=3&theater

  9. Kashmir - February 18, 2016 at 5:45 am -

    Me also have a big head and named me quail egg. It makes me very shy at all and lowers my self steem because of the psinful words theyre telling to me. But I don’t care about them. I’m just continuing my every day life and show them that they’re not doing not good

  10. Kashmir - February 18, 2016 at 5:54 am -

    Mine shape is like sharper letter C. My head is normal in front view but unproportioned when in side view. The back of my head is my only problem.

  11. Matt - April 25, 2016 at 7:29 pm -

    I’m 6 foot 1 about 185 and have a 25 inch head…it fits my body in pictures but obviously I’m my biggest critic…def got a lot of shit for it in the past but the ladies don’t seem to care

    Stick together big heads!

  12. Anonymous - May 8, 2016 at 5:27 pm -

    gu

  13. Craig Wilson - June 8, 2016 at 3:48 am -

    i have exactly the same problem, i cant find any caps or cricket helmets to fit my large head.

  14. Anonymous - June 15, 2016 at 1:26 am -

    my head is very huge

  15. Wilson Abraham - January 11, 2017 at 8:56 am -

    i am 183 cm tall and I have a 23.5 or 23. 7 head circumference and the length is 9 inches , lately I have been extremely depressed about it, looking in the mirror all day and wishing my head was any smaller. I got through elementary school without any serious comments , was successful in sports and in high school it wasn’t that much a problem since I went to a boy’s school. amazingly some people find me attractive and guess maybe b cuz i am very built and tough . but am now in my final year’s in the university in my native country Ghana and I have quite depressed about my head , most Ghanaians have small heads. feels awkward.

  16. Anonymous - March 11, 2017 at 1:04 pm -

    Hello everyone , I used to be a decent looking guy when I was in middle school and I had girlfriends and stuff.When in the second year of highschool(last year) I noticed my head had been became huge.Also it’s in a really weird shape,think of a football , and I swear it’s very abnormal.I just don’t know what to do at this point really , I haven’t had any girlfriends for 3 years and people laugh at me while having a talk with me secretly , and it sucks because I am good at observing people and into human behaviour.So It really hurts because I can understand their reactions about my head.I am actually a very good student but this really bothers me and I can’t even study anymore , there are no one around who looks weird like me , I ask myself what have I done to deserve this everyday. I don’t want to be handsome or goodlooking , all I want is to look normal and average, I try to forget about it but it’s not easy I break down every 2 day or so.I used to be confident and I had great dreams , but now I don’t even want to live, People envy good looking people , lol I envy even the less attractive person who looks normal. I just hate it and ask god why I have turned up to be like this , my father , mother , sister are normal but me…. I just don’t know. And actually as face feauters I am not even that ugly , from front I might even say I look friendly , but from sides (profile) OMG, my face longen to the forward and It looks like my eyes , nose , mouth wants to rip out from my face and hang out on their on lol. Anyways this is a deadend for me , wake up-pretend you’re OK-check your head in mirror-cry-sleep
    There is no one around I could talk about this , and my mom always get angry about anything I say so I have been trying to cope with it alone for a long time , even typing it gave me some relief.Thans for reading it , I just hope we live more than once and next time I will have a normal life….

  17. Ajay - March 14, 2017 at 6:43 pm -

    Hi guys I’m an a 20 yrs old boy..with a huge head problem like all of you I’m daily facing those idiot people who looks at my head and wonders and laughs behind me…i feels like go to them and beat them like hell…we all are special…but I think people with big heads have reason for that…I’m about to prove it…in future the people that laughing on me right now…they gonna recognize my success with big head…im with David he is right were about to make it happen….im feeling great now to meet people like me…thanx for this blog….

  18. Dalton - March 27, 2017 at 2:08 am -

    Are you sure your head is that huge? I didn’t have to analyze my head to know it’s big. I wasn’t aware of my huge head until every kid in school was making fun of me for it. My family did it, too, but I didn’t believe it until every person would take the opportunity to inquire about the unnaturally large circumference of my head. They’d ask me why my head is so big and eventually I came up with an always-response: “I have a lot on my mind”

    Your head’s not big. Idk though your wording in the article is hard to interpret if you’re really freaking out about your big head or if this is some sort of metaphor. Because hats don’t look small when you got a big head. They just don’t fit.

  19. Igor - April 20, 2017 at 12:06 pm -

    I’ve got a really big and fat head and I’m skinny as f*ck. Don’t know what to do. I always hear people whispering behind me about my head size. I am really thinking about killing myself. Seems like I’ll never be happy so why not just end it all?!

  20. wilson - June 19, 2017 at 1:16 am -

    dear paul please don’t delete this. I have been very insecured and depressed about my head. I am gradually ruining my life, I don’t really go out a lot, I always miss lectures , I am only giving my mom a tough time by staying in bed always and not helping her.
    well my melon is 23 or 59 cm and am 6’1 with a long face. height and stature don’t matter cuz am well built but still with a large head . I pray I don’t waste my time here on earth and asking God to help me break this chains of depression

  21. Faith - August 16, 2017 at 4:44 am -

    I found this website today and I’m glad to know that there are people like me. The thing is that when I was just a baby, I was diagnosed with hydrocephalus. It’s a condition where water fills up the brain making it grow big. Even though I survived it, I can’t help thinking that maybe it would be better if I didn’t. I feel so insecure whenever I look at the mirror and pictures of me, because of my large forehead and fat face and even though my body isn’t that skinny, my head isn’t still proportional to my body. This is one of the main reasons why I cut myself and have thoughts of suicide. I’m torn between making myself skinny or making my body gain more weight so that it would match my big head.

  22. goddy - January 25, 2018 at 8:24 am -

    my head is just too big for my tiny body,also am too short and people don’t want to see me let alone talking to me..the only thing I think of everyday is suicide.am not enjoying my life no daddy and my mom has glaucoma..dear God is there a life for me?

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