How Die Hard Would Have Been Different With Me In It

Two words: thick socks.

This would have been the difference between the outcome of the 1988 blockbuster Die Hard had I been given the opportunity to take the role that Bruce Willis made famous.

Thick socks, to me, seems to be the one downfall of the John McClane character when about halfway through the movie all these bullets are whizzing past him and all these cubicle walls are crashing down around him and all of these shards of glass are sharding onto the floor and there’s John McClane, idiot that he was, walking around barefoot.

A Little Milestone

Nine months.
Five-hundred seventeen posts.
Two-thousand two hundred ninety-eight comments.

One-hundred thousand hits.

It’s a milestone for me and we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all you W.F.M.E. readers. Thanks for your continued support and let’s just hope I don’t end up like Jim Morrison — drunk and dead in a bathtub before we hit 200,000.

Thanks again!

Today’s Lesson on Successful Lie-Telling

Telling a lie is a tricky procedure.

When you tell a lie there are a myriad of facial expressions and emotions that can give you away. A blinking or twitching facial tick, a coughing fit, a hoarse voice, a trembling lip, a constant nauseous gagging sound or, well, uncontrollable weeping.

I have studied with some of the best professional liars in the business. They are nice, genuine people who have told me they are nice and genuine which is the reason I think they are nice and genuine. But are they really nice and genuine or are they simply really good liars?

Aaah, that is the question.

The Benefactor Lost Scenes

You saw the show. Now it’s time to see what you didn’t see whilest seeing it. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Last night’s finale of The Benefactor which continued its tradition of coming in fourth place in the ratings, was in fact a combination of the original final three episodes. There was a lot missing, and here’s what you would have seen if it had been divided up into a sixth, seventh and eighth episode:

Episode Six
Mark visits each of the remaining three player’s hometowns. First, he goes to Boston where he meets Linda’s finacee and her mother. Linda takes Mark to the gym where she works out and the two of them have a sweaty old good time. What follows is a dinner at a nice restaurant with Linda and her family and friends. Then, Mark goes to her house (which you saw) and is amazed at her luxurious digs. More of the same there.

The Benefactor Finale

Well, tonight is the night.

After (cough) a mere six weeks, The Benefactor will finally reveal how a network can take three episodes of a reality TV show and pack it into one. It will, obviously, do a disservice to the footage that was initially supposed to make it to TV screens across the country — but then again this is TV: and there’s no crying in TV. (Except on hour-long dramas with adultery.)

Originally, the last three episodes included the following (there are no spoilers here, FYI):

Episode 6: Down to three players, Mark visits each of their hometowns, staying with their families and getting to know more about them. At the end of this episode, Mark would get rid of one, leaving only two contestants.