A Dramatic Story Where Details and People’s Names Have Been Changed to Ambiguous Initials and Weird-Nicknames To (I Assume) Protect Their Identity

You still wouldn’t believe it even if I was sitting next to you telling you the story with the same kind of excited look I have on my face as I’m writing it.

Father-Time totally stopped a robbery.

It was me, KB, Gooch, Father-Time, Little Italy, RN, DS-56 and The Quirky One. We were all sitting out at the “chain-linked eatery” talking about Crap-head and Elementary-Our-Dear-Watson. The thing is, Little Italy and RN are always talking behind Crap-head’s back and I don’t know if it’s the healthiest thing ever, but fortunately you’ve always got me and KB trying to keep everyone in line. You don’t want the same thing happening that happened last year at 10-10-220, where DS-56 went missing for like a year (exaggerating, of course) with her newfound mack-buddy, The Un-symmetrical Face.

Nonetheless, after the waiter (The Green Thumb) dropped off the bread and the butter and the water with lemon (thanks Quirky One), we got to talking about politics and Candidate #1 and Candidate #2 and how Candidate #1’s, Running Mate #1 was so much better than Candidate #2’s Running Mate #2. It was a heated conversation that sort of pissed off Gooch — who can’t stand talking about that kind of stuff because (even though he won’t say it), the Elder-Gooch has soured the world of politics for him ever since he voted for Independent Candidate #1A.

In the background, out of nowhere, there’s this commotion.

All of us turn around and see this weird-frenetic-looking guy pushing past staff and knocking over a table or two while The Green Thumb and Master of the Universe are chasing after him. There, obviously, was something not right going on.

“Holy crap,” Father-Time said. “It’s a robbery!”

Me, KB and The Quirky One thought Father-Time was kidding until we heard the cries and shouts of despair scream out from the proprietor and his helper-bees. And it was right about then, that weird-frenetic-looking guy is approaching our table.

It all happened in slow-mo.

Father-Time, like he was getting up to simply go to the loo, just casually sticks out his foot in the way of that weird-frenetic-looking guy’s pathway and he goes crashing to the floor at Gooch’s feet. It knocked him down long enough for Green Thumb to totally grab him, and keep him on ice until the coppers arrived.

For Me, Gooch, Father-Time, Little Italy, RN, DS-56, The Quirky One, The Green Thumb, Master of the Universe and that weird-frenetic-looking guy/robber — it was a moment none of us would forget. Of course, don’t ask Bee Keeper about it — he’ll tell you, although he wasn’t even there, that none of it ever happened.

But then again, Bee Keeper is a killjoy.

10 comments on “A Dramatic Story Where Details and People’s Names Have Been Changed to Ambiguous Initials and Weird-Nicknames To (I Assume) Protect Their Identity

  1. Hilary - September 29, 2004 at 9:20 am -

    Pauly, huh?!

  2. Pauly D - September 29, 2004 at 9:28 am -

    Oh, Hilary.

    Haven’t you ever gone to people’s blogs where everyone they talk about has a different nickname than their real name? Or people only write about others using their fake initials? I always found it funny.

    Just a little homage.

  3. Hilary - September 29, 2004 at 9:51 am -

    Ahhh. I am also guilty of that. Thanks for the explanation. Duh me.

  4. groovebunny - September 29, 2004 at 12:55 pm -

    LOL. Those are the best nicknames I’ve read in a long time. Thanks that gave me such a giggle! Hopefully Father-Time didn’t injure his little piggies in the bust?

  5. Andrea - September 29, 2004 at 7:42 pm -

    Well heck, I use initials in my blog! But mine are all the real initials. I just like to protect annonymity a little bit, Pauly D.

  6. Alyson - September 30, 2004 at 1:41 pm -

    I agree with Andrea, not everyone is as ready as we are to have our names on the internet.

    I think about going anonymous from time to time, but once the cat’s out of the bag, there is no going back. So now anyone with a computer can look me up and laugh mockingly at my neuroses.

  7. Andrea - September 30, 2004 at 8:32 pm -

    Hurray…someone agrees with me. 🙂

  8. Will - October 3, 2004 at 5:11 pm -

    Yeah, that’s just like that time I was hanging out with Cheeseburger, Foamy, Rickles, Penguin, RJ, and Chazwell…hey, wait…I’m one of those guys, aren’t I?

  9. Pauly D - October 3, 2004 at 5:37 pm -

    Yes, Will — you are one of those guys. But, you know, it’s not like there’s anything wrong with that.

  10. Four-Legged Lexis - October 14, 2004 at 10:38 am -

    Still Waiting

    Life is all one big waiting game. You wait to be born. You wait to die or for Jesus to return to Earth (if you’re a Christian like me). And in between, you wait to be old enough to drive.

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