You are currently browsing the archive for July 2004.
July 18th, 2004
The older you get, the more confused one becomes.
It used to be easy keeping track of the people in your life. You were 5 years old and going to pre-school and when you were out tooling around with your parents and you saw a kid that looked familiar, you could pretty much say to your little 5-year old mind that, yes, you knew little Spencer because he was the kid you hit in the face with those Lincoln Logs yesterday during play time. He was in your pre-school class. That’s why the kid looked familiar. No question about it. Easy peasy.
Posted under Me, You. | 4 Comments »
July 17th, 2004
It’s a moment that’s altogether surprising and extremely painful.
You’re in a rush and you’ve got your bags slung around your shoulder and you’re going to be late and you can’t forget to grab those letters that need to be mailed off the front table and put on the alarm and lock the door and make sure the dog has water and food to last him the rest of the day and you rush out to your car and click off the alarm and throw your crap in the back seat and as you’re slamming the door you forget that your keys are inside and you reach for them and by some random luck quotient your hand gets slammed right in the door.
Posted under Blogging. | 3 Comments »
July 16th, 2004
There seems to be a bit of a miscommunication going on in movie theaters countrywide.
The armrest on my left, is my armrest. It is not yours. You may put the edge of your elbow on my left armrest but you may not store candy or soda or your cell phone in the small recepticle circle at the end of my armrest for the simple reason that it is mine and it is not yours.
Why is it that people can remember which fork is the salad fork and which spoon is for coffee and which spoon is for clam chowder but when they go into the movies (a place they attend more often than fancy dinners where they must keep track of which piece of silverware is for what) they can’t remember the rules about whose armrest is whose?
Posted under Film. | 1 Comment »
July 16th, 2004
Friday. STOP.
Words For Your Enjoyment. STOP.
Idea provided by Andrea. STOP.
—
So you’re asking yourself, “What does the above old-school form of a telegram have to do with telemarketers? Why would PD be trying to draw conclusions between the two when there’s absolutely nothing in common between the two except for the fact that they’re both ways of communicating with others across great distances?
The key here, is the word STOP. The one thing I’d wish telemarketers would do, when it comes to calling my house.
Posted under Solicitors. | 7 Comments »
July 15th, 2004
I am such a huge tattle-tale.
Ever since I was a kid fighting with my sister…she was always the one inching over the imaginary line of demarcation in the back seat of the car… She was always the one eating the cookies from the hidden cookie jar on the top shelf of the pantry, behind the flour. And she was definitely the one making hundreds of dollars of calls to those 976 numbers. She was acting in the wrong, and I was not shy pointing that out.
So, the local authorities probably wouldn’t be too surprised when I ended up on their doorstep with the biggest secret of the world. A secret, that if I were willing to testify to knowing, would probably put some of the meanest, dangerous, violent criminals behind bars for the rest of their lives.
Posted under What If. | 2 Comments »
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