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June 24th, 2004
You so know what you did and I’m giving you 24 hours to apologize.
I was originally going to give you 12 hours to apologize but then I thought that maybe you wouldn’t check the blog as often as you normally do after doing what you did that’s causing me to issue this “apology in 24 hours threat” as I am doing this very moment. So, lucky you, you get 24 hours.
The apology I am assuming you will issue to me within 24 hours of this being posted should be on the phone and not in text or e-mail form. Any apology in a printed form does not count as a real apology since it takes no courage to do so. I want it in person, actually. No phone calls. 100% in person.
Posted under You. | 4 Comments »
June 24th, 2004
I have perfected the art of spending money I didn’t think I was going to get, and then justifying it better than any mere mortal in the entire Universe.
The scenario is always the same, although each event in question takes place at a different time on a different date in a different place and with totally different strangers around me doing completely unique things that I never would have been able to guess since I’ve never met them before in my life…
A freelance writing gig pops out from the ethersphere. A refund check from a credit-card that I overpaid comes sliding through my mail slot. A tax refund. A winning lottery ticket. A ten dollar bill floating in a barren alleyway on my walk to lunch. The key point in the beginning of my process is I get money I didn’t think I was going to get.
Posted under Money. | 3 Comments »
June 23rd, 2004
It’s true. I am a freak.
I have run into about sixteen people over the last two weeks who all have double-jointed thumbs. At the drop of a hat they can hold both their hands up in mid-air and flick their thumbs out of whack in a weird dance-like rhythm that is both intriguing and nauseating all at once.
Most people with double-jointed thumbs are extremely proud of that fact. Like it’s some kind of talent that they could go on the road with, or make a living with. Of course, not being a part of the underground cult that is all about double-jointed thumbs, I may very well be wrong. Perhaps, just like the Blue Man Group, there is a group of double-jointed thumb artists who, not unlike STOMP, do musical numbers strictly with the percussion that comes from the sound of a double-jointed thumb getting tweaked.
Posted under Body Parts. | 19 Comments »
June 23rd, 2004
Let’s take a little jaunt into the center of my brain.
I often find myself driving in my car on a road or a freeway or one of those frontage road things on the side of a freeway and I pull up next to another car driving around the same speed as me. And while my car and their car hovers around the same area I turn to look at them.
Oh, look. It’s an old guy with big black glasses who is squinting at the road. Oh, look. It’s a young teenager who looks way too young to be driving, or talking on her cell phone. Oh, look. It’s the new nuclear family (father, mother, two boys, a girl, and three toy dogs) all frustrated to still be in their car on such a sunny day.
Posted under Questions, Science. | 3 Comments »
June 22nd, 2004
So, you remember that sizzle reel I was working on for The Benefactor? Well, it’s mysteriously shown up on Mark Cuban’s blog this evening, so you can get a chance to check it out.
Here comes the buzz, my friends. Here comes the buzz.
Posted under Mark Cuban, Reality TV. | 2 Comments »
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