There Are No Airbags In My Car
May 16th, 2004
It’s obvious to me we’ve all been scammed.
As you drive your airbag-equipped car around your little cities and towns, I’m sure you look to your steering wheel and your passenger’s side glove compartment and notice those neat little “Airbag Equipped” notices. They tell you about how you shouldn’t put kids up there for fear of getting hurt by the airbag when it blows up and blah blah blah.
I don’t believe there are any airbags in any of our cars, FYI.
Ask a dealer to show you one. They’ll say it will void out the airbag warranty. Call up your car company and ask them to describe exactly what it’s supposed to look like. Hell, jam a switchblade in your steering wheel. No airbag. No nothing.
I was driving past the scene of an accident that happened at that very moment one-day, and there were no deployed airbags. Have you ever actually seen an airbag deploy, other than in slow-motion on Dateline NBC or some other primetime news program? (I didn’t think so.)
When have you ever before, in your life, paid for something that you were not allowed to see before you bought it? When you buy a car you’re able to open the hood, look at the engine, examine the trunk space and test out all the hoo-dads and hummalings… But the air-bags? Nope. You can see pictures of them in all their glory with their neat-little stichings and puffy-features…but not the actual airbags.
You can see a video of them opening, sure. But actually SEE them? Nope.
I have uncovered something sinister, my friends. SINISTER.
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In other news, I find myself unsure how to feel about reaching 20,000+ hits on WFME since our move to Typepad in mid February of this year. I hope you’re just as indifferent about it as I am.
G’wan, do it, do it! Rip that steering column open and let us know for sure.
Comment by susan — May 17, 2004 @ 7:24 am
I’ve been hit by an air bag. I promise you they are there, and they HURT.
So, here’s the inside scoop on them:
1. They smell very bad, kinda like a mixture of chalk and engine
2. The gas is white
3. The horn goes on a continuous honk.
4. They are extremely abrasive to your skin
5. Then popcorn comes out of the bag - very cool. It take’s your mind of the fact that your face is bleeding and you feel like you been sucker punched. Cheers!
so, when you get that urge to rip your steering wheel apart - go ahead, but you might want to stand to the side.
Comment by Kathleen — May 17, 2004 @ 8:12 am
I’m with Kathleen. I too have experienced the displeasure that is an airbag. They smell like fire, the gas makes you nauseous and all you can think about is getting out of the car. However, in a lot of cases getting out if the car isn’t quite as easy as it used to be. They are not soft and fluffy… not even remotely. Also, they hurt… really really bad. In fact, I thought it broke my nose – though I was more concerned with other more severe injuries at the time.
You know, I was wearing my seatbelt – I wonder if having the **** beat out of me by an airbag was really necessary. I almost broke my collarbone from the seatbelt catching me anyway – so what good did the airbag do? I think the question is not if we have them. I think the question should be do we need them. If we do need them, surely we can figure out a better way to make them – like soft and fluffy with a pleasurable scent.
Comment by Karen — May 17, 2004 @ 1:52 pm
i was just wandering if anyone ever got a very bad cough from an airbag deflating my mom was in an accident and the airbag came out there was alot of smoke in the car so she got out but she suffers from a bad cough and seems filled up in the chest what can thta be anyone want to tell me
Comment by cavell — December 27, 2004 @ 4:17 pm
You’re a freaking moron to say that there are no such things as airbags. Why would a car company make all sorts of claims and spend millions of dollars in tests and research, all just to rip you off? Well, I’ll tell you that airbags do in fact exist. They do hurt. And they smell like sh**! So quit whining about fraudulent corporations. You know nothing.
Comment by Bob — December 3, 2005 @ 7:29 pm
Yes, airbags do in fact exist.
Now there was some news awhile back, that scammers were taking cars that had been wrecked that had airbags that deplyed, and they basically made it look like the airbag got fixed when the car was. When in fact, there was no airbag in the steering wheel, but rather garbage or in some cases, packing peanuts.
BUT other than that, they do exist. Some models of Dodge vehicles when rearended, the driver airbag hub would open, you could clearly see the airbag in there, but it did not inflate.
And you said something about seeing wrecks with no airbags inflated?
1. You need a frontal impact. There are only sensors in the front of your car (with the exception of SIDE and SIDE CURTAIN airbags).
2. There has to be rapid deceleration before an impact. 95% of the cars on the raod today monitor the sudden drastic deceleration. If an impact is then triggered, the airbag will inflate. Some cars the airbag will inflate either way, however some if it detects rapid decelration, it will inflate faster….. but thats newer tecnology.
You said you wanted to see airbags but they say it will void the warranty. Lets think. Do you want to “attempt” to look at the airbag module while its in the steering wheel. If you even thouch it wrong, or the SLIGHTEST static electricity can set it off, and if oyu were that close to it, the injuries you could sustain could be tremendous…..
They are in the car. It is not a government scam or whatever you call it…..
Comment by Danny — February 13, 2006 @ 11:33 pm
i was really pissed of one day and while i was driving my car and i punched the stearing wheel and the airbag came out and white smoke came out and made me cough bad. I thought the car was on fire because of all the smoke so i got out by this time i was really angry at the car and kicked the doors and broke the windscreen jumped on the roof. Then i walked home got the gas can filled it up with gas and went back to the car and burnt it
Comment by Sonny Ngamu — May 5, 2006 @ 8:23 pm
Very good, you got a lot of people to respond to a ridiculous hypothesis. It’s funny that some people took it very seriously. Next topic: Is it possible to have absolutely no sense of humor?
Comment by John Krane — June 22, 2006 @ 6:54 am
i hate air bags they say they save lives but instead the make your face get fucked up
Comment by jakeob — October 25, 2006 @ 12:30 pm
Did you know that airbags can deploy without any accident? A pothole will do. Most cost $500-$1,000 plus a dashboard replacement if it’s the passenger side for another $1,800. And sometimes an $800 wiring harness. No two dealers quote the combination of parts. If the replacement doesn’t work, they never get complaints, just invitations to te funeral. Like air-conditioning, they are repaired secretly (it needed 20 lbs. of Freon!) and you can never tell if you’ve been ripped off.
Comment by Bob Tando — November 4, 2006 @ 8:42 pm
Could anyone tell me why my airbags would deploy without the impact of an accident? This morning, as I was approaching my vehicle, I was stunned to find that my airbags (driver & passenger) had been deployed! Is it possible that someone may have backed into my vehicle (there’s no damage) or does this happen often?
Comment by Shannon — November 28, 2006 @ 4:34 pm
Its sad you folks have taken this article seriously. It was meant to be sarcastic.
Comment by DB — March 10, 2007 @ 6:15 pm
Mr. Dragoi (DB), this article was not meant to be sarcastic. You would be surprised to find out how many car manufacturers that claim their cars are equiped with airbags, are in fact just ripping you off.
Why can’t you see the airbag when you buy a car? If it is not possible for the dealer to dismantle the steering wheel to show you the actual airbag, then they should design a small opening in the sttering wheel for you to see the airbag when you buy the car. They don’t do that because in that way you would not see anything in the place of the airbag. So it is more easier for them to tell you stupid stories how the airbag could deploy if you try to open the steering wheel. That’s just bla bla so that you pay the money for nothing…
Comment by M — April 10, 2007 @ 6:48 am
What one should do if in a big impact of an accident wthit other car the oir bags don’t deploy? That’s my case. I’m alive by a miracle.
Comment by Beatrice — April 24, 2007 @ 7:17 pm