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April 25th, 2004
Oh, sorry. Excuse me. METEROLOGIST.
If I were a weatherman I think I would be the most sarcastic weatherman on Earth. And I would be proud about being such a sarcastic weatherman. In fact, there would be days where my fellow anchormen (oh, sorry - anchorpeople) Brittany Chu and Johnny Alvarez would point to me off camera and say something like:
Brittany Chu: As for how the weather is shaping up for this weekend, we’re going to have to turn our eyes, AWAY, from our in-house meteorologist, Paul Davidson. I’m just kidding…
Johnny Alvarez: Ho ho ho, Brit. He sure is one sarcastic motherfucker.
Brittany Chu: Oh my, Johnny. You said-
Johnny Alvarez: I’m Mexican. It’s OK.
Posted under I Could Be. | 6 Comments »
April 25th, 2004
You’re standing across from me, and she’s standing next to you, and even though you keep asking me that same question at the same decible level, I’m not going to answer it while she’s here.
I am raising and lowering my eyebrows. I and wish you’d see the signal.
You are trying to allude to the question you’d like the answer to, using metaphors like, “Do you have any thoughts on that dog you found in the rain?” There are two problems with this line of questioning. For one, we are not anywhere near any rain. And secondly, you are not good at metaphors.
Posted under Body Parts. | 1 Comment »
April 24th, 2004
Tonight the Dallas Mavericks beat the Sacramento Kings. And I was there.
Sitting in some pretty damn great seats courtesy of the people at the Mavericks themselves, drinking a beer and eating a salted pretzel. They also had these pretty-freakin’ cool things you blow up, then bang together which creates enough noise to cause the opposing team member who’s trying to make a free-throw shot mess up. Really, pure genius.
I spent the day today working on a small crew with Mark Cuban himself. Once again, even on game day (mere hours before game start) he’s cool, calm, collected and funny. What we were shooting, I’ll leave to your imagination but I will tell you that there are these amazing bunkers below the main court at the American Airlines Arena where they play. Cuban has one, Ross Perot, Jr. has another, and there’s a third and forth allocated to other high-rollers.
Posted under Reality TV, WFME Abroad. | 3 Comments »
April 24th, 2004
There are some urban legends that never surface.
There are millions of humans on this here Earth who have, at one time or another, most likely been faced with this myth. Yet because so many people take it so damn seriously, no one has ever highlighted it in a movie, a book or even an intelligent article attempting to debunk urban legends.
That is, until now.
When I was a kid, one of my jobs was to load up the dishwasher with dirty dishes and silverware, then unload the damn thing when it was done. Hell, to this day I’m still doing the same thing but without the motherly evil-eye staring down at me from 3+ feet above. But as a kid, there was one very important piece of information that was imparted upon my tiny, strange little skull.
Posted under Urban Legends. | 12 Comments »
April 23rd, 2004
People have been e-mailing me.
Just so all of you people who have been e-mailing me about a particular television show know… I am legally unable to answer your questions or your e-mails. Not that I don’t like you or don’t find you amusing, but there’s a very fine line (legally) that I can’t cross since I’m involved in the show. Must stay neutral. Must…must fight against my desire to talk… Must avoid a five-million dollar law suit.
It’s unfortunate, because the blabber-mouth inside of me would love to just tell you all everything, but then the creative/producer part of me knows that would obviously ruin the show. It’s all about surprises. All about wonder and excitement. All about avoiding that five-million dollar law suit.
Posted under Reality TV, WFME Abroad. | 6 Comments »
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