Silverware Up, Silverware Down
April 24th, 2004
There are some urban legends that never surface.
There are millions of humans on this here Earth who have, at one time or another, most likely been faced with this myth. Yet because so many people take it so damn seriously, no one has ever highlighted it in a movie, a book or even an intelligent article attempting to debunk urban legends.
That is, until now.
When I was a kid, one of my jobs was to load up the dishwasher with dirty dishes and silverware, then unload the damn thing when it was done. Hell, to this day I’m still doing the same thing but without the motherly evil-eye staring down at me from 3+ feet above. But as a kid, there was one very important piece of information that was imparted upon my tiny, strange little skull.
“When you put the silverware in the dishwasher, make sure to put it right side up with the pointy part of the fork sticking upwards or else the fork won’t ever get clean. Same goes for the knives (pointy side up) and the spoon (spoon part up).”
I always found myself looking at the (clearing throat) HOLES in the silverware portion of the dishwasher silverware compartments… There is a way for water to get in there. If I were to stick the silverware face down, I think they still would get clean. But I was never able to prove it as a child because just as that challenging phrase came out of my mouth, my mother would be lucky enough to find a spoon that had been used to lick peanut butter off of, or a knife that had cut through a microwaved Hot Pocket… That stuff wouldn’t come off the silverware no matter if it was up or down.
Recently, now that I am the proud owner of my very own dishwasher, I have tested this theory. This urban legend. I have stuck forks and knifes and spoons and spatulas and corn-on-the-cob spearers and wooden salad tossers into the dishwasher’s silverware tray…upside down. And I have turned on the dishwasher with abandon — leaving my experiment to resolve itself on its own.
And what do you think was the result?
No dirt. Totally clean. Spanking-crystal clean new. Spotless. Shiny. Scratchproof. Reflective (you know, I can see my smile in the spoon!).
My mother and your mother and their mothers… They’ve all lied to us over all these years. And that begs to ask the question…WHY? For what reason in the entire Universe would all our adult family members force such an urban legend upon us? What kind of secret goals do they have, that can only be reached by us sticking silverware in, face up?
I can only suspect that they’re all aliens from a far away planet. And on that planet, they cannot use their satellites to access our transmissions unless all the silverware is facing up. You know, sort of like a huge metal dish, but made out of Crate & Barrell silverware. And once that alien planet has got their beings in the place of our parents, and our so-called parents have forced us in our childhood and then in our adulthood to continue to place every fork and knife and spoon in the upright position… Only then will they have enough transmitting power to take over the Earth.
Talk about an urban legend.
I’m pretty sure that people whose parents don’t love them tell them to put the silverware UP. MY mother, who loves and adores me, always made sure that I put the silverware DOWN in the dishwasher so that I wouldn’t accidentally cut or stab myself when I was unloading it.
Or maybe that was just because I was incredibly accident-prone.
Comment by lori — April 24, 2004 @ 3:00 pm
When we were kids, my mom used to make us put the silverware up also. As an adult, with my own dishwasher, the silverware goes down. However, the last time I was at my parents’s house and helping load the dishwasher, my mom pointed out to me I was putting the silverware in the wrong way. When I tried to explain they come out clean my way, even with my crappy dishwasher, she wouldn’t hear it. I guess it is just a mom thing.
Comment by Freya — April 24, 2004 @ 3:13 pm
It’s a mom-alien thing. That’s what it is.
Comment by Pauly D — April 24, 2004 @ 7:39 pm
I worked as a restaurant manager in San Antonio, pre-Dallas days, as such that makes me an expert on the subject at hand. You always put silverware down! After all, do you want someone’s grubby hands all over the area you will soon be putting in your piehole?
Comment by Robbie — April 25, 2004 @ 8:31 am
Pauly - Robbie totally makes sense. Does that make him an alien? Now I’m confused and paranoid. I’ve stopped answering the phone when mom’s number flashes on the Caller ID. Help!
Comment by T. Malone — April 25, 2004 @ 11:19 am
I absolutely put silverware down. Always turned out clean to me. I dont know why some people insist on having it upwards. Ever have a someone actually re-load the dishwasher after you’ve loaded it? Fine by me, but next time load it yourself.
Also, ever seen the recipes that tell you to foil-wrap fish and steam it in the dishwasher as a cooking appliance? Why not use an upside down bowl with a plate in the middle of a big pot with a small amount of water boiling to create your steam…
I’m rambling now. Have a great day.
Comment by Oliver — August 2, 2004 @ 11:35 am
When I took Home Economics in high school, yes a male took home ec, I was taught to put silverware face down as when you emptied the silverware tray you would be touching the handle end.
Comment by George Worley — October 13, 2004 @ 9:36 pm
Back in the day when garbage digesters in dishwashers were new (1984-ish), but not fool proof, you didn’t dare put the silverware down in the basket because they would be covered with baked-on dreck at the end of the cycle. Now that they’ve worked out the kinks and the digested crumbs get back-flushed out of the dishwasher, it’s okay to load them however you want. However, putting all spoons together, forks together, etc is dangerouse because they can “spoon”-stick together and not get clean. Yes, you must prewash peanut butter and egg off for sure because they probably won’t come completely clean. Good idea to cut roommate some slack in this regard, but mixed directions of handles do make unloading a challenge. It’s important to remember to wash your hands thoroughly before unloading the dishwasher.
Let’s hear it for dishwashers because life is too short to stand at the sink every day!!
Comment by Pitaya — August 8, 2006 @ 5:46 pm
Here’s the rub. Your parents told you to put the silverware UP because in the pre-dishwasher days (am I aging myself or giving away my working-class backround?) they were concerned with getting the soap off of the portion of the silverware that you put in your mouth. The “runs” are not a fun thing to deal with when you are feeding 10 children; and that’s what you got with the old-school soap when dishes were not rinsed properly.
So I believe this is not so much an urban legend as it is an outdated custom/rule/tradition (and we have LOTS of those floating around). Rules usually come from somewhere for some reason, but many of them are carried on WAY past their relevance.
Comment by Babs — February 12, 2007 @ 9:23 am
I am happy to run across this site and see that I am not the only person that puts the silverware down. My mother taught me to do it that way and while I was a bit of a rebel her reason made sense. You truly don’t know how clean a persons hands are and I’d rather them touch the handle when putting dishes away than the part that goes in your mouth.
Sadly, due to health and other issues I am an adult woman renting a room form a 78 year old woman. Everything, including sharp knives, goes up. One night I was loading my stuff into the washer and slammed my hand down on one of her knives. I was not pleased and she was not the least concerned that I’d stabbed myself. I didn’t need medical care or maybe she would have cared once she got the bill. So there IS merit in the knives going in point down. Another reason for them all to go face down where I live is this same woman wouldn’t know a germ if it walked up and slapped her in the face. She always does a potty run before she unloads the machine. I have a squirt bottle of handsoap I use before I unload the machine but who knows what she does and anytime I have had to go into the bathroom after her I have observed that her soap is unused.
It’s looking good for me to me health wise and I should be moving soon and boy am I glad!
Thank you for letting me blow off some steam, this has been on my last nerve for sometime.
Comment by Joan — April 13, 2007 @ 9:39 am
we also have had this controversial topic flowing through our house-hold for several years now… It was not until just recently that we have exhausted our ongoing discussions about it and contacted the thousands of electronic surfers like yourselves.
We see that both ways work as long as you take care to keep the silverware adjusted in such a way that they do not topple together and keep dirty sides together…
Comment by jolan(dad)&Joseph(son) — April 13, 2007 @ 6:34 pm
This weekend, I had the good fortune to experience a fork jamming itself under my thumbnail as I loaded my fiance’s dishwasher. I assure you it was an accident - and hurt like crazy. But I believe my accident may have finally convinced her to switch methods of loading! Her mother was in town this weekend and claims that loading with pointy side up gets things cleaner. She even thinks she would be able to tell the difference in a comparison! But she also mentioned the bit about soap runoff. I think she just needs a new washer. But ah well, she’ll never change. I just hope I can convince my future bride to load the safer and easier way.
Comment by Dr. Church — September 24, 2007 @ 12:14 pm