How Blogging is Just Like Eating Frosted Mini-Wheats

Blogging is a lot of things.

It is communicating with your invisible, imaginary peers. It is expressing yourself to an emotionless, un-feeling, un-caring computer screen. It is an outlet for feelings and thoughts and ideas that your invisible, imaginary peers can stare at through their emotionless, un-feeling, un-caring computer screen.

It is also just like eating Frosted Mini-Wheats.

Frosted Mini-Wheats come in a box. So does your computer, which eventually runs software that will allow you to get onto the web and post entries in your blog.

Frosted Mini-Wheats are sweet. So is the taste of revenge as you write entries about all your ex’es, and their habits and hairy backs and horrific manners and annoying personality quirks.

Frosted Mini-Wheats come in numerous, tiny cubes of tightly-packed wheat. Your blog contains numerous entries, tightly-packed together with text so small I need a microscope to read it.

Frosted Mini-Wheats can be purchased in a store, just like you can be bought by those linking to your blog. Mini-Wheats are also fragile, like your ego when you don’t get enough comments on a post. Mini-Wheats are a second-tier cereal, which has yet to really take the world by storm…but the manufacturer continues to make those commercials with the animated CGI talking Frosted Mini-Wheat…much like how your blog isn’t the most popular, yet you continue to sell it as the most popular around.

Frosted Mini-Wheats are white, brown, light and dark. Just like you.

Let this be a lesson to you all.

7 comments on “How Blogging is Just Like Eating Frosted Mini-Wheats

  1. Diann - April 2, 2004 at 2:16 pm -

    “So is the taste of revenge as you write entries about all your ex’es, and their habits and hairy backs and horrific manners and annoying personality quirks.”

    Oh oh, now I know you’re talking about me! (except I never talked about anyone’s hairy back…)

    It’s called 365 days a year of nonstop content served up fresh, eventually you run out of ideas 😉

    (guilty conscience)

  2. collena - April 2, 2004 at 2:16 pm -

    Thank you for sharing your (april 1st?) epiphany. It’s all very true. It’s when imaginary friends become real, comment-y and feedbackish, that I had to cut and run. So yin and yang, who am I doing it for, me or them? Got to be like work, but you make it look easy. In fact, yes, your frosted mini-wheat metaphor just might bring me back to it.

  3. Pauly D - April 2, 2004 at 2:26 pm -

    If only sugar-coated breakfast cereal could speak volumes to EVERYONE on this earth. Maybe then, people in Iraq would be throwing Fruity Pebbles instead of rocks.

    Wow, that was so profound.

  4. Hans - April 2, 2004 at 5:28 pm -

    OOOOOH, this is such an mahooosive area of human nature its unreal. I reckon multi cheerios are a bit closer to all that is Blogville. You could write a book on this (in fact i may), comment envy, post envy, blog envy, visitor statistic envy, then theres cyber relationships, now dont get me started on that one. lol

  5. Will - April 2, 2004 at 6:05 pm -

    “Mini-Wheats are also fragile, like your ego when you don’t get enough comments on a post.”

    Amen to that! My blog has been up since January and you, Paul, are one of the only five people to ever comment. And one of those five was my aunt! Every evening my spirits are lifted by the thought of a new comment, then smashed by its absence. What do I have to do for you people? Do you expect me to bleed?!

    …Sorry, that got a little out of hand. You have to understand that I am a very lonely person.

  6. Pat - February 12, 2005 at 9:38 am -

    This man speaks the truth.

  7. […] Just don’t get me started on how blogging and eating cereal are one in the same. Because I’ve done that before and I ain’t gonna do it again! […]

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