Throat Scratching and Gleek

I would like to take a few minutes tonight to explain to you why people misunderstand my “talents” as “freakish quirks”.

I don’t mind telling you that I am unique and sociable. Happy and friendly. Extremely aware of my surroundings, sometimes so much so that I can tell you if there’s dust falling on your shoulder. But at the center of my uniqueness are two talents that boggle the mind. Seriously, I should be on Ripley’s Believe It or Not. Or not.

A big shout out to any of you who know how to scratch your throats. Can you do it? It’s so hard to explain how I do it, but the sound is something like a mix between Donald Duck and a dying mallard who was just shot out of the sky. First, a tickle in my throat. An itch. But if you’re not a model, and not used to sticking your finger down your throat — well, you just can’t find a way to battle the scratch. That is, unless you know how to scratch your throat. For those who do it, please step up and agree with me that it’s an amazing talent to have within your powers. For those who can’t — here are the steps to do it:

1. Close your mouth.

2. Clench your teeth together.

3. Tense up the muscles at the back of your throat.

4. With your throat closed, pull air in, causing the strange duck sounds.

5. Repeat and continue until the itch is gone.

Congratulations! You’ve done it! Your days of itchy throats is now over.

As for gleeking, well there’s very few people who can do it as successfully as I can. Some have tried and failed. What is gleeking? It is when you can spray a stream of liquid from underneath your tongue. Sometimes, you may have done it by accident while eating a sour candy — liquid does a quick spray from underneath your tongue. But I can do it on command. And the stream goes as high as 4 feet over my head, as far as 10 feet. How do you do it?

1. Eat a sour candy.

2. When finished or while eating it, chew on the edge of your tongue. You’ll get that tingly feeling in your jaw or under your tongue.

3. Bend the tip of your tongue backwards and below your top row of teeth.

4. Use your tongue muscle to push from underneath your tongue.

5. Walla!

Keep in mind — people may think you’re gross or spitting at them. This is totally untrue. In fact, you are spraying CLEAR SALIVA. Spit is saliva mixed with throat juice. But gleek is simply pure, perfect saliva. If you ever find yourself without a way to wash your hands, well, just gleek into them and you’re home free.

I’m glad I was able to take the time tonight to teach. They always say the world needs more teachers and so I feel as though I have done my part this evening.

Next month’s class syllabus will be available next week on the site.

In other news, it appears as if I am no longer having those “I have nothing to say” issues.

84 comments on “Throat Scratching and Gleek

  1. bob - March 14, 2006 at 8:38 am -

    Leave a comment

  2. Alex - March 14, 2006 at 1:38 pm -

    Dude! Pressing on the salivary gland really works well! At first I could only send a spray 1 foot but now I can send a little ball like 5 ft! I found out about my gift a while ago. If you have trouble, try what I did at first.

    1. Open your mouth.
    2. Press quickly and forcefully against the inside of your upper set of teeth with the tip of your tongue.

    For me, it sends a little shower of gleek everywhere. Also, try chewing gum if you can’t get it at first.

  3. thedude - March 14, 2006 at 2:03 pm -

    how the crap do u guys hit 15 feet!

  4. thedude - March 14, 2006 at 2:06 pm -

    i have a diferent tactik in the art of gleeking first of all i dont do any of this wierd stuff like chewing on ur toung or puting it on ur teath what i do it press my tonge on my silava gland untilk it hurts and then put my tonge in the cener of my mouth and just push my jaw forward. if u have problems with this just go and buy a big bag of warheads at the store and ull get it for sure

  5. thedude - March 14, 2006 at 2:09 pm -

    omg im gleeking like crazy just thinking of warheads

  6. Rizza - April 22, 2006 at 1:27 am -

    lol, i have been trying and they are shooting well, but im not getting much distance ?? How can i increase distance, atm im using the push on saliva gland technique 🙁

  7. sam - May 6, 2006 at 6:17 am -

    yea i started gleeking when i was about four but using sour candy is cheating but on occation when i want to hit my friend from across the street and make the think its raining i put three black cherry warheads in my mouth chew on my tounge push down on the glands and fire i can usually get upwards of 18 feet that way but my norm is about 6 to 8 feet but on the downside i ocationally gleek into my girlfriens mouth when were making out my girlfriend right now dosent rly care but its definatly a downside of gleeking

  8. Mike - May 23, 2006 at 6:46 pm -

    Hey, I’m having some trouble with gleeking. I can only gleek about 1/500 tries. I noticed that most people said to bend your tongue back and then have it flick forward which hits the back of your two front teeth. Well my problem is is that my gums cover up at least 1/2 of the back of my two front teeth, so I don’t think I can do it. And I don’t have even the slightest gap between my two front teeth, so a few questions came to me: How much of the back of your front teeth does your tongue need to hit? Do you need a gap in your front teeth to gleek? I’m so confused. @_@ Help would be direly appreciated (Note: I tried every listed way here, but mainly the chewing on your tongue bit…).

  9. Jake - May 26, 2006 at 3:52 pm -

    IT’S GLEEK!! (and I do it sometimes when I yawn *raises eyebrow*)

  10. glkgrl - July 3, 2006 at 12:29 pm -

    the trick is not in your tongue, it’s in the muscles in the bottom of your mouth, you’re just moving your tongue to the top of your mouth so the saliva will shoot out, that’s why some can keep their tongue soft and some can keep it stiff. if you learn how to tense the muscles in the bottom of your mouth (like when you release a yawn or make a taco with your tongue) and push the bottom of your tongue forward while those muscles are tense, you’ll be able to do it. i can do it on command (no cheating…) at about 8 ft, but not as far as some of you guys!

  11. mish - July 14, 2006 at 10:27 pm -

    well, can’t say im a natural to this, but i just recenently got my tongue pierced, and whilst checking out to see if the bottom was healing properly, i just saw some saliva squirt out..i can tell u i was pretty freaked at the time, but i just typed it in on the net, to see if i was having some screwed up reaction to the piercing. anyway, its a really bad habit now..and my tongue is sore =[ LOL…i know some of you really want to be able to do it, but i really wish i couldnt.

  12. Arthur - July 21, 2006 at 5:36 pm -

    Wow I didn’t know others could do this as well.

    The way I squirt it out is by rubbing my teeth on my tongue and then touch my back teeth with my tongue works 90% of the time.

    Freaky stuff

  13. Mike - July 25, 2006 at 10:47 pm -

    AIGHT i just got the gleekin thing down (i’m gonna have fun wit this…!!!) BUT…theres a problem..i know like 5 ppl already asked this but sumbody plz answer this..FOR THE SAKE OF ALL US GLEEKERS…i can get about a foot. HOW DO U INCREASE DISTANCE??? if u know…hook me up…i got an idea for the next mcdonalds drivethru…

  14. Wrylie - August 9, 2006 at 9:23 pm -

    OMG I love this! I need more practice though, I keep gleeking on my computer =( lol oops! Thanks though! it’s awesome!

  15. Sean Ross - August 10, 2006 at 8:55 pm -

    I never knew there was a term for it… I could never do it on command because I wasn’t exactly sure what the hell it was I was doing. It always happened randomly for me, and people always looked at me crazy when I said I could spit somewhat similar to a snake spitting venom. It’s been happening to me since I was little as well. I can scratch the back of my throat with the weird sounds as well

  16. Tyler - September 4, 2006 at 9:01 pm -

    Well it’s kind of funny, I’ve gotten braces now and I’m gleeking. First when I got the braces it hurted my mouth so I just kept biting my tongue until it got a little sore so I tried gleeking and BOOM! IT WORKED! Amazing, I posted here about a year ago and now I finally know how to do it!

    P.S. Biting the tip of your tongue really does work.

    Sour candies also do too, actually if I eat sour candies it shoot way farther.

  17. Sarah - October 16, 2006 at 7:18 pm -

    haha Finally someone who understands scratching your throat and knows it actually works. lol and yeah gleaking is really easy. if you dont have any sour cand with you, just yawn, it works great, well i can do it without yawning but when i couldnt yawning worked really well. and yeah haha sometimes when im done horseback riding and i dont have any water or anything to wash my hands with i gleak into them. lol ok well ttyl

  18. rob - November 4, 2006 at 12:18 pm -

    Wow!! I’ve tried everything and nothing worked, till i tried the method where u push down on ur salivary gland. It works for me about 1 out of every 3 times!! So trust me it does work! 🙂

  19. chelsea - November 9, 2006 at 3:52 pm -

    I can gleek! It’s alot of fun walking down the halls at school and spitting on the back of people’s necks…they look up at the ceiling as if something has dripped on them. ha. Until this website, I had no idea that it was called gleeking.

    I showed my anatomy teacher and he thought it was the coolest thing. He asked me to do a little research on it and find out how many people can actually do it on command. (and I ain’t talking about little tiny squirts, I’m talking “the real thing”) So, if you guys can do some serious gleeking and wouldn’t mind posting a comment on here so that I can have some info, I would really appreciate it! Thanks.

  20. Brandon C. (Gaylord, Michigan) - December 6, 2006 at 2:49 pm -

    gleeking is totally awsome. i found it out by eating lots and lots of sour warheads, and i knoticed that i could shoot out siliva, so now i can basically d oit anytime i want to but its way easyer to do it if u have a sour candy or some sort of food that makes siliva come out.

    GLEEKING ROCKS! 😛

  21. Karley Perkins - January 12, 2007 at 8:43 pm -

    I can gleek on command without eating or drinking anything, and still make it go really far. I do it whenever i feel like it, and it is really really really fun and funny to show friends. I usually do it everyday, and its really kool. sometimes i just take the tip of my tounue and rub the underside of it, and it works better. I got sick of gleeking on accident a lot, so months and months ago i taught myself how. Now it only happens when i want it to, even though it is a lot=]

    -Karley.

  22. Rebecca - January 23, 2007 at 2:57 pm -

    Ha, I tried the yawning thing and it worked!!! once, but I shall continue until I can do it on command. Also the scratching throat thing..it sounds more like a pig too me. My mom and I are the only ones who can do it around here. we drive my step dad nuts with it, it’s great..now as soon as I can I shall gleek him constantly! Muahaha!

  23. Paul - January 27, 2007 at 9:09 pm -

    I’m able to gleek on command now, but can’t get much distance. But I can get a pretty steady, thick stream (sometimes double) that occasionally goes on for as long as 5 – 10 seconds. I do it by rubbing the tip of my tongue against a sharp point on my teeth until it hurts. Then I can feel the pressure building up in the salivary glands, and I bend my tongue backwards a little, open my mouth wide and give a little pressure with the muscles under my tongue – and voila! It helps a lot to have drunk a lot of water awhile earlier, but I can get a good stream 9 out of 10 times now even without that.

  24. kaka - January 31, 2007 at 7:53 pm -

    how do you give pressure to the muscles under your tongue

  25. kaka - January 31, 2007 at 7:58 pm -

    how do you give pressure to the muscles under your tongue

  26. bob - April 8, 2007 at 10:09 pm -

    To those who still cannot gleek, (1)scoop ALL of the saliva out from underneath your tongue with the tip of your tongue until it is dry. (2)Immediatly after that, open your mouth until your teeth are a good 1 1/2 cm apart, then put the tip of your tongue under the bottom of your top teeth and push out with the middle of your tongue. It should work, i just figured that out too.

    ———————————————————————
    Turns out i just gleeked on my monitor! 🙂
    ———————————————————————

  27. I - April 12, 2007 at 2:23 pm -

    To the previous poster and the others who appear confused. Gleeking is not spraying spit between your teeth. Gleek-action comes from under your tongue and teeth have little, if anything, to do with it.

    Alas, I still can’t gleek on purpose. I’ll have to obtain some warheads or something, for a little assistance.

  28. captain big tits - April 18, 2007 at 10:17 pm -

    ight heres how its done. the whole chewing on the tongue deal is by far stupid, you do not have to hurt yourself to do it. what i do, it may seem wierd but it works everytime and no liquid or candy is needed. first i lick my lips, both top and bottom with my mouth closed. then after that i place my tongue practically underneath my bottom front teeth (under the gum part) and keep it pushed against the gums under your bottom teeth. doing this allows pressure to build up in the saliva glands. take the bottom part of your jaw and move it forward so your bottom set of teeth are sticking outward farther than the top set (as far as you can push them out..dont force though..no need to hurt yourself). the reason for this is so you do not spray the inside of your mouth hitting the top teeth. now is the hardest part..the tongue lifting. the trick is..barely lift it. only lift the tip of it so that your saliva glands are showing. the saliva glands is located on the bottom of your mouth by the way, not on the underside of your tongue, below it. congrats if you did it..if you didnt, try flinging the tip of your tongue up instead of just raising it. trust me when you do it one time on command, you will never have problems and can do it anytime. you dont even have to yawn, just simply lick your lips to relax the muscles. (very important to apply the pressure against gums so you dont lose the little air pressure thing in the glands.) try practicing on a mirror so you can see where they are. you should see 2 little holes when they open up. thats why some people shoot 2 streams to their left and right. sorry for really long paragraph but im getting into very deep details that are simple and require absolutely nothing. email me at phy_storm@yahoo.com if you have comments (i will not check this ever again probably lol)

  29. wish-i-could-gleek - April 25, 2007 at 9:31 am -

    heh, whenever i try to gleek by using the instructions shown above, i always yawn and my eyes get all watery and i cant tell if im gleeking or not, lol. my tongue aches from trying, and for some reason you all can do this practically without trying. so, i guess you just have to have a talent for it, or can you really teach other people?

  30. Dr. Fart - December 10, 2007 at 1:04 pm -

    Every time i try to gleek i always end up hurting my tongue and being unsuccesful. But whenever I go to close my mouth in order to stop attempting to gleek a stream of spit always goes flying out of my mouth. So I guess i got it down pat. I can gleek by not trying to gleek (if you know what I’m saying). But I’ve always been able to scratch my throat as long as i could remember.

    P.S.: Poop

  31. Kathleen - December 10, 2007 at 6:23 pm -

    Dr. Fart?

  32. Person - February 23, 2008 at 10:06 am -

    I can do both of those… and I’m only 11.

    They are pretty amazing talents, and I can gleek up to 5 feet away. It freaks my friends out.

  33. Alyssa - March 8, 2008 at 9:26 pm -

    Well, I can’t explain how to gleek. But I am really good at it and my friends think it is really gross. For those of you who can’t gleek, you’ll figure it out on your own. That’s what I did.

  34. Alyssa - March 8, 2008 at 9:36 pm -

    I just gleeked all over my keyboard…sweet.

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