Friday’s Words For Your Enjoyment
February 27th, 2004
Welcome to today’s first Official Words For Your Enjoyment. Every Friday, I’ll be looking to the people out there in the ethosphere to provide ideas for this column (sounds so depressingly professional, doesn’t it?) so get cracking!
Today’s subject matter is brought to you by our friend the Reluctant Writer.
Reluctant writer, wrote: “How about something about the new Citrus flavored Listerine? The ad is
silly. Mom brings home the groceries, she calls out to her family “Oh see! I got some Citrus flavored Listerine.” The family runs and hides immediately. She turns, laughs and calls out “It’s not like the old Listerine.”
—
I have thoughts on Listerine and flavored-mouthwashes. I specifically have a problem with mouthwashes that do not taste like mint. Mint is mouthwash. Plain and simple. If I wanted my mouth to taste clean and fresh like a lemon/lime or orange, you’d better believe I’d just go out and eat an orange or drink some Sprite/7UP.
Mint, on the other hand, is an herb not readily available for the general public. That is why we HAVE mouthwash. For people who eat all the crap sold in their cities but don’t have a mint root around for them to chew on. So, why go to citrus flavored?
Here are a list of flavored foods whose ability to work as a medicine, are ruined by their flavors:
Fruit Flavored TUMS
Cherry Flavored Cough Drops
Cookies & Creme Flavored Chewable Pepto Bismol
Cinnamon Flavored Milk of Magnesia
Pizza Flavored Pringles
Chicken Parmesan Flavored Anal Suppositories
(Ed. Note: Pringles are medicine for some people.)
Those are just some real and/or potential possibilities that the creation of Citrus Flavored Listerine is opening the door for. And I say we must stand strong against food and/or fruit flavored medicine. If it’s medicine it’s supposed to taste bad. If it’s a needle shot in your arm, it’s supposed to hurt. If it’s an MRI, it’s supposed to make you clostrophobic and make you scream for your mommy when they tell you they’re going to inject you with a sharp needle after you’re already secured and can’t move inside the horrible vibrating tube.
Sorry, sense memory.
Bottom line - companies need to move away from changing the flavors of their medicine and just make the stuff work better. Don’t you think?
i support you in your stance against citrus-flavored Listerine. My advice to the young people of today is Don’t Even Try It!! Just Say NO. I tried it and now I’m quite addicted to it. The downside: all the skin on the inside of my mouth is mostly burned off. The upside: My breath is always minty….err…orangey fresh!
Comment by lori — February 27, 2004 @ 11:29 am
i agree and would like to add the new citrus crest toothpaste. it’s just not right!
Comment by roklobsta — February 27, 2004 @ 1:33 pm
http://www.jonessoda.com/files/turkey.html
I think the FDA should step in at some point. Seriously, turkey and gravy flavored soda? I know this isn’t a medicine, but it’s been bugging me.
Comment by jeff — February 27, 2004 @ 4:20 pm
Thanks for picking mine! Wow! That’s great! I’ll definately put in a bid again!
I want options to mint mouthwash, but Orange Listerine is not in the running. It tastes worse than the original.
More mint — that’s what we need. I hate fruit-scented shampoo (who wants to smell like food all day?) Mint shampoo could be nice.
Also, I think of Mint Jell-O. Its day has come.
BTW, I’m changing my moniker as a commenter to Nancy, so don’t be surprised
Comment by Nancy (aka Reluctant Writer) — February 27, 2004 @ 11:24 pm
I am not keen on the Citus Listerine or the Lemon Crest…it really isn’t right. Nyquil has a cherry flavored one. I know that it has been around for a bit..but it just doesn’t seem to work as well as the handy green one that tastes like Jagermeister. The Cherry flavored Nyquil just doesn’t seem to work like the original flavor. I agree…the companies need to make medicines work better, not taste like candy.
Comment by Robin — February 28, 2004 @ 12:21 pm
That turkey soda thing is just wrong.
Although, cranberry and stuffing soda. That may be a GOOD idea!
Comment by Pauly D — February 28, 2004 @ 1:34 pm